Sorry this is so long - wanted to include all details.
My DD was 13 months old when her father was killed in Iraq. He'd joined the army way before we'd even got together. When I found out I was pregnant, he was really excited. He returned home for her birth and first few months before having to go back again. Obviously, you can imagine what it was like for us when he died. His parents leant quite heavily on us as my DD was his only child. Two years ago (DD is now 5) I met someone and he has been amazing with DD - always treating her like his own.
Recently though, he asked if he could adopt her. This came about because if we go on have children of our own someday, he doesn't want them to have different surnames. I immediatly said no because, although he's been like a dad to her, he's just not. I know that sounds harsh but DD is very aware of her dad (she asks about him almost every night and grandparents show her lots of photos). She doesn't call my boyfriend dad or anything. But he's really upset now that I have said no to the adoption, he says he has raised her like his own so we should do it. I even caught him asking her to call him daddy the other day. She was appalled, bless her, and told him she already had a daddy in heaven which made him ever madder. I've had his sister call me up just to tell me that I'm selfish and his mother will not speak to me as she thinks the adoption is a good idea.
Am I totally wasting my time on this? Is he ever going to let up?