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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was I unreasonable to let my mum drive 3 year old 1/2 a mile with no car seat?

189 replies

BurningBuntingFlipFlop · 31/08/2010 13:45

I'm not very well atm and this morning I was altogether rubbish so my mum offered to drop my ds of at nursery as she practically passes our hous on the way to work. She was running a bit late so I just ran out with ds and put him in the front with a seatbelt on. She drove the half a mile around the corner and as she stopped a random father at the nursery started having a massive go at her in front of ds, saying she was endangering his life etc. My mum was mortified, she called ne when she got to work and was nearly in tears.

So was i bu? It's not against the law btw, I checked.

OP posts:
PutTheKettleOn · 31/08/2010 14:44

thisisyesterday, i agree, but believe me my DD would not have lasted a minute in her own seat with the seatbelt on, she would have wriggled all over the place!

BTW everyone, OP has already said he WAS in the back seat.

Original poster
BurningBuntingFlipFlop · 31/08/2010 14:45

I have already explained he WAS in the back. I gave spoken to the nursery and they said he's well known for being a bit ott. Apparently frequently has a go at parents who's cars are parked slightly in the boundry of the zig zag yellow lines. Ds is pretty tall and it's a mini so back seat very small bucket type. I feel guilty now in hindsight but to be honest it's driving down one quiet road so the risk seemed very small this morning.

OP posts:
MmeLindt · 31/08/2010 14:46

YABU
It would have taken a couple of minutes to fetch and fit the car seat.

The man at the nursery was BU but acting in the interest of your son.

Bram
I don't understand that argument. Why would you relax the safety restrictions of your DC? Yes, they sometimes travel on a bus without a car seat but when my DC are in a car they always sit in a car seat. DD is 8yo and cannot wait to get just a booster seat, but since she is still under the required height, she is not allowed.

And saying that the risk is greater on a long journey is not right. They are in the car longer but generally a long journey is on a motorway, where accidents are less likely to occur as on small roads, or in the town.

LilyBolero · 31/08/2010 14:46

Just spotted he was in the front - I wouldn't ever do this, though I would occasionally let them in the back seat without a carseat if circumstances dictated.

LucyLouLou · 31/08/2010 14:47

Quite clearly I did not see it Hmm. But if you have a massive go at someone in front of their 3-year-old grandson, you are an idiot. There are ways to go about dealing with this situation (such as having a quiet word out of earshot of the child) and that was not one of them. End of.

LucyLouLou · 31/08/2010 14:47

Lily, OP has said she made a mistake saying that, the child was in the backseat.

Original poster
BurningBuntingFlipFlop · 31/08/2010 14:51

Oh and my mum did say he didn't move a muscle. Probably freaked out that he wasn't in his car seat. My dh is picking him up tonight.he left for work at 6.45, I was supposed to take ds but genuinely felt too I'll and my mum knew entertaining a 3 year old all day wasn't going to help that.

OP posts:
Ephiny · 31/08/2010 14:52

I think that man was unreasonable and nasty to shout at your mum in front of your ds and presumably all the other parents at the nursery, there was no need for that. I might have a quiet word if I knew someone was regularly driving a small child around without the appropriate car seat (or maybe ask the nursery staff to have a word) in case they didn't realise, but not do what he did.

Maybe would have been better if you'd transferred the car seat over, or if your mum could have walked him to nursery as it's only half a mile...not much point worrying over it now as it's in the past and no harm was done, but maybe worth thinking about how you'd handle similar situations in the future, it's your call as the parent in this sort of situation.

AvrilHeytch · 31/08/2010 14:53

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MmeLindt · 31/08/2010 15:03

Avril

Non Built-up (excludes motorways)
52% of the total killed, 32% of total seriously injured, 25% of total with slight injuries

Built-up
42% of the total killed, 65% of total seriously injured, 70% of total with slight injuries

Motorway
6% of the total killed, 3% of total seriously injured, 5% of total with slight injuries.

Fatalities on motorways have decreased by 9 per cent since 1994-98 in a period with traffic levels increased by 28%"[5]

Original poster
BurningBuntingFlipFlop · 31/08/2010 15:05

I don't understand those statics.

OP posts:
Original poster
BurningBuntingFlipFlop · 31/08/2010 15:06

statistics

OP posts:
LilyBolero · 31/08/2010 15:06

Oh right, sorry hadn't seen that.

chippy47 · 31/08/2010 15:08

YABU. If the man having a go at your mum has made you think about this then fair play to him.
We all bounced around on bench seats in the back when we were little but in those days the infant mortality rate in car accidents was significantly higher. I wonder why.

AvrilHeytch · 31/08/2010 15:09

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sethstarkaddersmum · 31/08/2010 15:09

'Yes YABU. There's never an excuse to take a risk with a child in car, no matter how small it seems at the time.'

Mishy - surely every time we go anywhere with a child in a car, or indeed, go anywhere near a road, we are taking a risk!
Carseats make the risk smaller, but they merely reduce it, they are not magic talismans that make it impossible for a child to be injured!

OP - yanbu.

prozacfairy · 31/08/2010 15:10

Hmm The bloke at the nursery was out of order shouting the bit out at your mum but you did put your DC in unneccesary danger.

If no carseat was available couldn't you have aleast put the DC in the backseat? Not as safe as a correctly fitted car seat but safer than sitting in the front seat with no car seat whatsoever surely? Confused

chippy47 · 31/08/2010 15:10

Non Built-up (excludes motorways)
52% of the total killed, 32% of total seriously injured, 25% of total with slight injuries

Built-up
42% of the total killed, 65% of total seriously injured, 70% of total with slight injuries

Motorway
6% of the total killed, 3% of total seriously injured, 5% of total with slight injuries.

Basically means that out of 100 people involved in an accident 52 were killed in non built up areas, 42 in built up areas and 6 on the motorways.

LadyBiscuit · 31/08/2010 15:13

prozacfairy - he was in the back seat. I would have done so YANBU IMO but I'd buy a bubble booster for your mum for future use

Original poster
BurningBuntingFlipFlop · 31/08/2010 15:13

just looked on google maps, it's a 3 minute drive and 0.3 miles.

OP posts:
AvrilHeytch · 31/08/2010 15:14

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prozacfairy · 31/08/2010 15:15

Oops just seen that you mistakenly said front seat when you meant back seat. Sorry. Ignore what I said bout the front seat before. Still think you could have found time to fit the seat though. Hope you feel better soon btw.

Original poster
BurningBuntingFlipFlop · 31/08/2010 15:17

How can 70% of people have slight injuries but 42% died and 65% had serious injuries? Does that mean they had serious injuries then died? Confused

OP posts:
paisleyleaf · 31/08/2010 15:19

Can less than half a mile to nursery really be considered a necessity? It's a walk.

AvrilHeytch · 31/08/2010 15:20

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