While I do not think YABU, I think it would be good to try to consider how you could make it into a trip you could tolerate. My DH is also from a developing country and we have been there with our DS when he was only 6 months old. We stayed for 2 and a half weeks at the family home, during which time I rarely ventured outside of the yard, and every time we drove anywhere we were not able to use a carseat, though we brought one, due to fact that the only type of vehicle that was available to use (for financial reasons) could not accomodate it.
It was not the most fun time for me, but I DO NOT regret the trip at all, and would do it again in a second (and we will), though there are some things I might do differently, like shortening the length of time we stayed.
This place is where your children come from,though they live here now, and I think it is very important for children to connect with their roots, and for their families abroad to be given the opportunity to get to know them. I have a precious photo of my son sitting under the mango tree in the backyard as his great grandfather fed him a mango - priceless. I think it is also an opportunity for you to bond more with your partners family and to understand him better by knowing where he comes from (I realise you have been before, but each time I go to DH's home I understand more and more). I get along well with my PILs (though there are a lot of other relatives at the family home!). If this is not the case for you, that will of course make it a more uncomfortable trip.
Re safety: Things like car-jacking are unlikely to pose a significant threat. Disease is something to be concerned with, but as long as you take proper precautions, should not be an issue. At six months, my son had received several rounds of shots. No, he couldn't have those that would have been required as an adult, but as long as you are not in the jungle and you have bottled water to drink, you should be fine. DS was old enough for anti-malarials. If you need these, that might be the key - to ensure your baby is old enough (really goes by weight moreso than age, my DS was a fatty). I had started weaning my son when we went, which was my biggest concern, but was actually no problem with some milton. For general cleanliness, ordinary running water (even though non-potable) and soap work just fine.
I prob would have felt 3 months is a bit young and wait a little longer, but really think under 1 is fine. However, if you breastfeed I'm pretty sure your LO is protected by your antibodies past three months (please double-check that though!).
Plane ride was easy peasy. My DS has had 3 longh haul trips at age 14 months, never really had a problem on any of them.
It can be overwhelming, but if it is possible to have your own room in the house that no one else can come into that helps.
We never get sent anything, and skpye with them would be a laugh (ummm...I only managed to check e-mail twice in two and a half weeks there), we always have to be the ones to call, etc., but we do get the love, and that is very valuable.
Best of luck making a decision, and if you decide to go, I've got a suitcase full of more specific advice to share if you are interested that I won't bore you with now.