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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To want to punch my husband in the face for being such a effing twat/asshole/selfish bastard!!

73 replies

lilysmummy2007 · 30/08/2010 13:55

We've done nothing all weekend,I cant remember the last time we did something other than stay home and watch crappy movies. I want to go to the FREE Carnival at Notting hill, and he is being a twat bag about it, he doesnt want to go because he has to work, at 11pm tonight!! Its 2 pm FFS!! We could be back before 7pm as we live one bus ride away and I want DD to see the floats and cultural experiences ( I am from Trinidad, where the Carnival originates from). I feel a really big fight coming on and I really dont want to start my week off with the hassle!! Its not just this, he is such a stupid git when it comes to going places and is so antisocial when we do go out, I dont even bother asking anymore! This is just pissing me of as DD is bored indoors and i would feel much safer if he went with us. I am going either way but its just really annoying that we cant do things as a family because he is being a dickhead!!

OP posts:

blametheparents · 30/08/2010 14:20

Bliney, give lilysmummy2007 a break.

I'm sure people just see what the mood is on these threads and then copy everyone else.

I don't think it is unreasonable that you might like to all go out together.
No, you can't MAKE someone do something that they don't want to do, but you have a DD together and sometimes that means that you have to do things that you mgiht not want to do.

Bank holiday monday, I would love to get up late, go for lunch and have a not leave the pub til this evening. But we have 2 lovely kids so we took them to the park and are now about to play board games together.

daftpunk · 30/08/2010 14:20

If this thread was about a man wanting to punch his wife it would probably have been pulled by now.

I haven't read your op, your thread title is enough to put me off.
You sound charming.

Original poster

lilysmummy2007 · 30/08/2010 14:21

He likes it very well, we are both from the caribbean, so when he goes to the carnival in Grenada with his friends and family, he has a blast!

OP posts:

pagwatch · 30/08/2010 14:22

I have to point out that you and your DD don't have to be at home and bored just because your Dh does not want to go.

There are other things to do than go to the carnival.

You can be angry with him for not going.I can understand that. I am sure you are annoyed. But stop blaming him for being bored. It is making you sound a bit pathetic.
Take your DD out and calm down a bit.
maybe when you get home you can try and talk to him and find a way to make him understand that you find his routine difficult and his behaviour hurtful

AgentZigzag · 30/08/2010 14:23

You might have only asked once, but did you say ' fine ' with a face on?

Original poster

lilysmummy2007 · 30/08/2010 14:23

geez, and stop taking the punch in the face so literally, all you judgey pants out there have never felt like lashing out the?? If his brother or one of his friends called him now and siad lets go somewhere or do something, he would be out the door!

OP posts:

FrameyMcFrame · 30/08/2010 14:26

yanbu, yes he should do something with you all as a family. Rant away, that's what mn is here for!

By the way you sound nice to me, take no notice of these posters saying they're just after a bunfight because they're bored.

turtled · 30/08/2010 14:26

blametheparents it is possible, just maybe, that people do actually sometimes have the same opinion.

deakell · 30/08/2010 14:26

Well if this is an ongoing problems, then I suppose your anger run a little deeper than him just not wanting to go to the carnival.

Vent your anger in a healthy way (go and dance around and sing loudly whilst at carnival) and then come back and speak with him about this.

No punching or name-calling; you will only validate his reasons for not wanting to go out and spend time with you.

Minxie1977 · 30/08/2010 14:26

Maybe you shouldn't have asked if YWBU to want to punch him in the face for being a twat! Bound to bring out the AIBU bashers - moth to a flame. YANBU to want to spend time as a family but you do make yourself sound loony

Original poster

lilysmummy2007 · 30/08/2010 14:26

mustrun, i do have friends, but they are not really into Carnival and the ones that are are doing other stuff with thier respective families. If it was just me i would go by myself, but i dont want to take DD alone, its Notting hill carnival, for those who havent been you would understand.

OP posts:

violethill · 30/08/2010 14:27

He's a grown man, let him decide for himself what he likes. If he was that keen, he'd go. Clearly he isn't. It doesn t stop you going.
And I totally agree with daftpunk- if this was a thread starting "I want to punch my twat of an asshole wife in the face because she wont go where I want to go this afternoon " there would be uproar.
MN is truly depressing at times

FrameyMcFrame · 30/08/2010 14:29

I don't think she meant punch in the face literally daftpunk...

mustrun · 30/08/2010 14:31

Ok, but you really wont sway me on the issue of only going with your dh by your side. Its either ok for kids or its not. If you dont feel safe with dd and no dh, you shouldnt be taking her even with dh. He's not Superman, he cant prevent everything. Yes, he might act as a deterent by being a male presence. But if you cant look after her there alone, why put pressure on dh to take that esponsibility? I wouldn't like the onus being on me if I was your dh!

Original poster

lilysmummy2007 · 30/08/2010 14:31

I understand that he is a bit anti social, and he has a certain groups of people that he is comfortable doing things with, which is why I almost never ask him to do stuff with us, but if he cant do one little thing for me and DD, how inportant are we to him, thats what makes me most angry. Anyway, I am going by myself with DD, we could get killed in our own home, so I think I will take the risk to walk through some crowds with her.

OP posts:

violethill · 30/08/2010 14:31

I know plenty of people who go with their kids without a husband or partner around. Don't get this weird idea that him not going renders you incapable

mustrun · 30/08/2010 14:33

And how do you think he'd feel reading what you think of him? He wants to avoid going somewhere manic right before a night shift, and he gets called vile vile names. I'm not an angel by any means, but I dont think I'd ever talk about dh using phrases like you have, even if you're just sounding off

Original poster

lilysmummy2007 · 30/08/2010 14:34

Thank you Framey, I really am not nuts, and you sound lovely too. I just ignore the posters who make stupid sarky remarks! I know who I am and their comments dont affect me.I though mumsnet was somewhere you would get a sympathethic ear, but sometime you just get the pathethic, without the sympathy.

OP posts:

daftpunk · 30/08/2010 14:35

I'm sure she didn't, I'm just wondering if you'd all be so understanding if this was a man
talking like this about his wife?

I very much doubt it.

Original poster

lilysmummy2007 · 30/08/2010 14:37

you must be the perfect wife then mustrun! write a book with suitable names that I should call him and i might just buy it!

OP posts:

deakell · 30/08/2010 14:38

Lilysmummy, with respect, you said you wanted to punch him in the face, have called him a dickhead, an effing twat and a asshole. I fail to see how you think people's shock at this is rooted in sarcasm.

I would not call my OH these things and I'm not the worlds biggest pacifist either

bruxeur · 30/08/2010 14:39

Go on your own. Don't get stabbed though, that would be terrible.

Minxie1977 · 30/08/2010 14:39

You would prob get sympathy on netmums hun

mustrun · 30/08/2010 14:40

Thank you deakell. So its not just me! God, we've almost split up in the past and I still havent spoken about him like that to anyone.

violethill · 30/08/2010 14:41

Go on your own and hope no one shouts abuse at you. You know, calling you a fucking twat or something like that

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