to request my daughters dad visits her during term-time instead of her travelling 500miles every other week

[LexyLea]

I am currently in dispute with my ex-husband who insists that our daughter travels to his home every other week. I believe this is unreasonable towards our daughter for 3 main reasons 1) the distance, my ex-husband lives 250 miles away and I believe driving there & back every other week would be unfair on our daughter, 2) her age, at 3 years old I believe the distance and the length of time in the car (not to mention dangerous moterways etc) would not be fair, and 3) the fact that she gets travel sick, to make her conduct this long journey would, has and continues to make her ill, usually at least once per journey.
It was my decision to relocate after our divorce in order that I return to univeristy to retrain so that I can properly support my daughter and I, and I can understand that my ex-husband feels angry about this, however I have invited him to visit our daughter as much as he wishes, and have asked that this be the arrangement during term-time so that her education does not suffor from tiredness / inconsistent parenting / instability etc, and I have even offered to give him a bed for the night as is it such a long journey. However, he refuses to make the journey and insists that I take her to his home, where I have been uninvited from entering and would have to drive straight back to my home, only to return a day later to pick her up (a round total of about 1000 in a 36 hour period). This is also a bone of contention for safety, time, cost isuues etc.
Please tell me if I am being unreasonable in requesting (in these circumstances) I request that my ex-husband visits our daughter during term-time.

[bottyburpthebarbarian]

HG - you said that so much better than I did

[violethill]

Exactly.

Some people are trying to make this into a black and white issue - "the mother had the choice to either move 250 miles to do that particular course at that particular University, OR... she's condemned to a life of being chained up, no life etc"

Bollocks.

She could attend a different University, do a slightly different course... blimey, there are SO many options out there now in higher education. And if it means compromising a little then so bloody what? That's real life as a parent. If I suddenly decided I wanted to do a University course 250 miles away, I'd damn well expect to do the travelling involved to see my family! They'd think I was a screw loose if I took off and did that and that made it into their problem!

[neytiri]

wow lexylea, hope you get this situation sorted. do these problems extend to the rest of your dc's from the large family you have?

[bottyburpthebarbarian]

Neytiri - I was thinking about that too.

I wish the OP would come back to this thread.

I thought (maybe) that the big family could be DSC's of the XH? In which case, then it would be quite difficult for the XH to travel 250 miles with potentially more than one child in his car already??

But, since the OP isn't coming back, we have no way of knowing.