to write my dh this note...

[Tortington]

dear dh
i should not have to sleep on the settee in my own home every friday niht becuase you pass out drunk.

you can choose from the following options

a) move puter out of bedroom [pass out in another room]
b)move into another bedroom
c) move out
d) stop drinking

i am not a piece of shit to be walked over, and sorry wont cut it again.

the question is academic as i have already written and left the note.

great guy 6 days a week. 1 day a week total tosser. every saturday - EVERY sat. he says sorry and promises me i can sleep in my own bed.

i can't sleep ont he settee - and to make matters worse my asthma has been bad this week - had to go for a chest x ray and i have had shit all sleep all week - its really unthoughtful - even more so than usual.

im not gonna leave him, but i might lick him in the knob

kick - no licking i dont do knob licking ...kicking kicking.

that was an unfortunate typo

yanbu imo, no advice but your typo made my come out of lurker grove :)

Oh Custy for you, leave the note and make sure you kick his cobblers into next week.

made me... which is why i dont posy /sigh st typos

i give up...

Not if you've exhausted all of the sensible options (talking till your blue in the face etc).

No YANBU.

try the deeply informative (in a Freudian and ironic way) the licking option. May well work.

Lmao, sorry custy but end bit was fecking hilarious, i spat my drink out when i got to that bit.

the note sounds great though,

just dont put anything like that on it, he may think you want to reward him

Lick him on the knob, it might stop him drinking for 10 mins

just don't catch any of the froth...

Oh mrsr thats even funnier hahaha,

Oh Custardo you really have my sympathy... Am recovering from a bout of bacterial bronchitis and my asthma is worsening. I am on a lovely concoction of oral steroids, antibiotics, relievers and steroid inhalers and have to note my peak-flow for God only knows how long, oh and also have 'scarring' on my lung diagnosed after a recent x-ray. My current peak-flow of 290 had my GP giving me sarcastic applause (have to add my GP has seen me many times over this and knows my humour so isn't being a f*cktard)...

You have my total, TOTAL sympathy, but for FECKS sake please don't lick his knob

Big un-mumsnetty hugs x

can you photocopy similar for my dh custy?
has he seen it?

DP's snoring and lack of sleep drives me to wanting to put a pillow over his head. I think your note is quite tame, i think it should including some fuckings and bastards, but definitely no knob licking.

pmsl. lots of people still awake

what a fking typo

Love the typo

my dh has just arrived home being a knob.fun.

Oh I love it when their drunk. You can play all kinds of tricks on them

:(

you ok?

What a classic, im still laughing now.

Im not gonna leave him, but i might lick him in the knob, is it a kind of punishment, images of you with chilli sauce on your tongue, trying to wedge your tongue in his pinhole!

lol claw

Have you tried shaving foam on his hands, then tickling his face?

Shaving his eyebrows?

I would write the note on his face, in permanent marker.

ive done all kinds of nasty shit - the best being writing 'cunt' on his forehead - taking a picture and putting it on fb

Brilliant typo

best ever!

You've had a rough week of being unwell, does it always bother you so much? as you say he is usually great.

ty lewis, im ok jut resigned to his knobishness {sans licking]