To think that three is not a lot of children and that I do not have my hands full!

[Northernlurker]

We are away on hols and went to a local castle today. Whilst sitting in the tea shop we were approached by a older lady doing some market research for the castle owners. We answered her questions but aibu to be a bit miffed that her opening gambit was ' Oooh you've got your hands full' - indicating my three girls. They ae 12, 9 and 3 and were sitting being perfectly well behaved eating chocolate brownies and discussing the liklihood of us seeing dolphins in the sea. Hardly running amok!

This is beginning to annoy me tbh - whenever I tell people I have three dcs they wince. I find them relatively little trouble - certainly not wince worthy.

AIBU?

and a bit oversensitive

It's just small talk
if you had one they'd say 'when are you going to produce a sibling' etc etc
I don't know why people take offence when peoe are just making conversation and being friendly

I get the same but worse as I have DD and DT's. 'Ohhhh Buy one get one free' is the most common phrase. Very annoying.

I didn't 'take offence' - I was a 'bit miffed' - critical difference. It just seems a very odd opening gambit when she required our co-operation.
I would take offence actually if a total stranger asked me about my reproductive plans. Small talk is supposed to be small - not 'tell me about your plans for unprotected sex in the next decade'!

I think she was just trying to make conversation although I did get a bit miffed once with a make up sales lady who just couldn't understand (after I had told her I had 3 children) why someone would want more than 2 children. Why would anyone want 3 children!

I imagine she was trying to get you on side in a woman to woman way! probably thinking lots of cooking/cleaning for you in a traditional older lady thought way. can't believe anyone gets miffed over that

yanbu.
it can get tiresome, cant it? i have 3 as well, and it does become a bit irritating, regardless of whether its small talk or not. i dont find 3 any harder or easier than just having 2, but i think others expect having more than what they have is harder iyswim!

She was mostly talking to dh - I was stuffing my face with ginger cake

Probably thought 'poor man' can't cope Nice cake?

Excellent cake

Hey NL!
I get that too, although to be fair my 2 boys are often running around like lunatics (in a controlled kind of way!) so at times I do have my hands full! ALthough I have also had it when they are behaving perfectly, I think some people just aren't big on kids and while they can cope with the idea of one or two anything more just seems overwhelming to them, to put it nicely!
Funny though, I went to tescos with 6 children the other day and some mornings on the school run I have 9 of them (am a childminder) and no one says anything, just stares!!

Had a friend visit my nb (no 3) who listed why 3 is such a bad idea (for her) and why 2 is just perfect. Fortunately I am secure!

Don't mind the 'hands full comments', it's just a conversational gambit but MIL, who only had one, was perplexed - people these days only have 2, you know!

I get you have your hands full when I am out with 1. Its just conversation like saying wht lovely/rubbish weather we are having. They dont really care if you have 1 or 50 kids it is just something to say. So yes you are being yabu.

it's just something she "wheeled out" to make small talk with you...YABU

Soooooo....tell us about your reproductive plans for the next decade!
Where are you - sounds lovely!

Incidentally, i have 1, and noone ever says I have hands full..I wish they would as I do!

No, I have two, so literally have my hands full if I'm holding each of their hands, but no one ever says it to me either :)

i must point out that my DD has SN so cannot speak, needs carried around a lot and is hyperactive so she is like 5 kids probably!

I don't think I go anywhere with my 3 without getting 'you've got your hands full there' comments.

It makes me smile and I actually feel a bit disappointed if some-one doesn't say it

I've got three with a two year gap between each and I used to get it a lot, but not so much now that my eldest is 8. I think people mean it kindly.

YAB a bit U. My daughter is going through the threeage stage, and if I had 2 more under 5 than yes I would have my hands very full. I have my hads full with one who does the work that 3 kids would. My friend has 3 childre 3,10,12 and yes she has her hands very full, depends on the kids some are more settled some are not.

My Dd3 is 9 weeks old and I get this all the time. I don't really mind though and if I do get a bit annoyed then I tell them I don't find it hard because of my excellent parenting skills!