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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think there should be a point at which you stop using Mummy and Daddy for your parents?

175 replies

Surprise · 27/08/2010 19:44

I'm not sure at what age, but there seems to come a time when it just sounds wrong. I think maybe up to 11 is fine, but after that it just starts to sound a bit ponce-tastic. Do you agree?

(you can tell I have a boring Friday night ahead of me and am looking for a fight can't you?Grin)

OP posts:
Minxie1977 · 30/08/2010 18:42

A bully? Calm down dear!

banana87 · 30/08/2010 18:45

Me and my sisters still refer to both of our parents as Mommy and Daddy, though we call them Mom and Dad IRL. I see nothing wrong with it, people should be entitled to call their parents what they like, its a free country!

Hulababy · 30/08/2010 18:46

My DD is 8y and still calls us mummy and daddy, as do pretty much all her friends (their own parents that is).

I like it and can't see it stopping any time particularly soon.

Not sure I'd want her to refer to us as that as an adult, but you never know.

I just am not keen on "mum" so much; not sure why, esp as I use it for my own mum. Hate mother and abide first names for parents.

DD is growing up so fast as it is, at least still calling me mummy reminds me she is still my little girl!

So - at 8y I think mummy is perfect.

Minxie1977 · 30/08/2010 18:47

Exactly so we're free to think it's funny Grin

Gay40 · 30/08/2010 19:07

And it is funny! As are the comments about my lack of education. Oh dear...if only you knew :)

mathanxiety · 30/08/2010 20:40

Oh enough of this coy hinting -- tell all.

Gay40 · 30/08/2010 21:38

OK I confess. I call my parents Mum and Dad.

DreamTeamGirl · 30/08/2010 23:21

I call mine mum & dad too, but I tend to agree.
I wouldnt want to be friends with someone who laughed and ridculed another human being like that because of how they spoke to their parents...
No matter how educated they might be.

Galena · 31/08/2010 16:05

Gay40 - I think the point is that you are not behaving like someone who is as intelligent as you are hinting you are. To snigger at someone else in the safety of your 'pack' is the behaviour of many of the 'feral' types we see around us. Those who are not high academic achievers.

I am intelligent. I have a variety of qualifications, both at graduate and postgraduate levels. I know what it's like to be sniggered at, so I'd like to think I don't do it to others. If I heard an adult calling their mother 'Mummy' I might be amused, but I wouldn't snigger out loud and catch the attention of those around me to share in my amusement. I'm intelligent enough to realise that the world is made up of different types of people and that is what makes it a richer place.

So, you may be vastly academically qualified, but maybe just not very bright? Or maybe just not very NICE...

minipie · 31/08/2010 16:27

I call my parents Mummy and Daddy. My mother made it clear years ago she hated the word Mum and would not answer to it. So what else am I supposed to call her?

minipie · 31/08/2010 16:33

Having now read more of the thread, I have to say that, Gay40, you appear to have some pretty big reverse snobbery issues going on.

I don't see why continuing to call your parents what you called them when younger is self infantilisation. There is nothing more inherently grown up about the word "Mum" than the word "Mummy". You could argue it's self infantilisation not to call your parents by their first names once you are an adult.

taffetacat · 31/08/2010 21:13

Like your point minipie

I remember as a teen being teased for calling my parents Mummy and Daddy and my parents teaching me the value of not following the crowd. The worst thing in my family was to be a sheep. The worst insult from my father was a bleating noise......

Gay40 · 31/08/2010 22:48

No, I just don't suffer fools gladly. So people either love it or hate it (not really bothered).

How more simple can I make it for you people: "Mummy" is for ickle babies or for the mentally overwrought.

AgentZigzag · 31/08/2010 23:34

Oh and you're sooo mature and sophisticated gay40 Hmm

A lot of condescension for people doing something you're not bothered about.

bronze · 31/08/2010 23:39

I call mine Mum and Dad most of th etime (depend sif I want something)
DH calls his Mother and Father and occasionally Mummy and Daddy.
I've got passed noticing and way beyond caring.
He is posh public school type though for the picture.

We both have good relationships with our parents

CakeandRoses · 01/09/2010 08:10

Gay40 - (belatedly) my point was is that foolishness is in the eyes of the judger. Multiple lols make many people cringe more than mummy and daddy.

and I agree with minipie - what's more grownup about calling your parents mum and dad if that's what you called them as an infant?

Gay40 · 01/09/2010 09:49

Oh to be mature and sophisticated!

laydeecornyofsilke · 01/09/2010 09:52

'ickle babies' Hmm

Dartsissolastseason · 01/09/2010 09:54

Some of this can be down to the preference of the children. DD aged 10 still calls us mummy and daddy. DS aged 6, calls us mum and dad (despite the fact that as he's so young I wistfully wish he'd still call me mummy Grin). I'm sure than when DD goes to secondary school, she'll follow her peers and call me mum; 'tis the culture here.

LeQueen · 01/09/2010 14:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 01/09/2010 15:13

It's a cultural and regional thing, surely?

I remember being a bit Hmm that my Irish friend still referred to her mummy (or mammy rather, I think) and daddy at the age of 9, but rapidly realised that that's what Irish people tended to call their parents, whatever age they were.

DP is now 9 - and we've been mum and dad for a while. But that's the way he and his friends are (and I was at his age). I don't have a problem with it at all. I thought I'd be upset but in the event I'm enjoying him growing up. Which isn't to say that "mummy" and "daddy" are inherently infantile in all circles.

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 01/09/2010 15:14

Posted too soon:

... rather that in our area/circles the transition to "mum" and "dad" signifies the move from early childhood to pre-teen.

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 01/09/2010 15:16

I wanted to say milieu rather than area/circles but realised that that was truely poncetastic. poncier tha any amout of mummy- and daddy-calling Grin

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 01/09/2010 15:18

One more post.

OP - YABU. Different (ahem) milieu have different norms.

It would be odd for us I think, but absolutely not for others.

edam · 01/09/2010 15:26

Still address my parents as Mummy and Daddy and I'm, um, past my 30s... Partly because my mother hates Mum - father wouldn't mind Dad but because of the Mummy thing it just doesn't happen, even when I've tried it hasn't stuck.

Agree with others who have said Mummy is no more infantilising than Mum - they are both words children use for their mother.

ds calls me Ma, which I don't mind. Used to be Mummy, then he moved to Mama (with short As, not posh) then segued into Ma.

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