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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think there should be a point at which you stop using Mummy and Daddy for your parents?

175 replies

Surprise · 27/08/2010 19:44

I'm not sure at what age, but there seems to come a time when it just sounds wrong. I think maybe up to 11 is fine, but after that it just starts to sound a bit ponce-tastic. Do you agree?

(you can tell I have a boring Friday night ahead of me and am looking for a fight can't you?Grin)

OP posts:
IMoveTheStars · 27/08/2010 20:23

I heard a woman in her mid forties call out 'muhmmaaay'
I had to do a double take.

It was in Burford.. but hey..

mathanxiety · 27/08/2010 20:27

Lady007, your instincts are right about Daniel O'Donnell's 'mammy' in Ireland, 'mammy' is definitely used for a mother by small children only. A grown man who calls his mother 'Mammy' would be considered a 'mammy's boy'. A 'Mammy' in Ireland is one who does everything up to and maybe including bum-wiping for her darling boy until he flees-- flies the nest at age 44, and cries buckets at his wedding.

'Mummy' is more 'yummy'. A lot of my cousins call their mothers (my aunts) Mummy.

AgentZigzag · 27/08/2010 20:28

Some people might find it strange because it's keeping an adult in a perpetual childlike state.

This might accompany an assumption that the parents can also treat their adult children as five year olds and expect them to do as they're told with no argument.

I only say might though cos I've not got the energy for a fight Grin

Rockbird · 27/08/2010 20:28

They wouldn't dare, I'm too 'ard :o

AgentZigzag · 27/08/2010 20:29

I didn't mean you rockbird, obviously Grin

Ragwort · 27/08/2010 20:30

I find it pretty ridiculous - also its very difficult for children if they don't know what their parents names are - I was out yesterday and some poor child was calling endlessly for 'mummy' - everyone was looking round (except the right one presumably Grin) - I think it can be quite distressing for a child - sorry, I know thats a slight deviation from the subject but its something that's always struck me. I call my parents by their first names (they are in their 70s and I am in my 50s) usually, but would write cards to 'Mum' and 'Dad'. I am quite happy for my DS to call me by my first name but some parents seem to think this is far too trendy!!

Agree - I loathe hearing husbands calling their wife 'mum' or 'mummy' (or vice versa).

Rockbird · 27/08/2010 20:33

Coward...

tholeon · 27/08/2010 20:35

I don't think it has got anything to do with keeping someone in a perpetually child like state ..it is just traditional in some families...generally posh ones...

roomonthebroom · 27/08/2010 20:38

A thirty year old woman I work with refers to her parents as mummy and daddy, and does it constantly on facebook too, to the point where it is making me want to hide her posts because of the cringe factor.

Not as bad as the 60 year old colleague who brought 'mummy' to her retiral do and referred to her as mummy all night. Mummy was 94 on her last birthday.

My friend calls her husband 'dad' because she thinks it will confuse her kids if she uses his first name (and vice versa)- my daughter never seemed to struggle with this and knows what we are both called.

All of the above make me cringe which is totally unreasonable, because really, why should it bother me?

CakeandRoses · 27/08/2010 20:40

I think Mummy and Daddy are fine, apart from when people refer to their parents as that when they're talking to people about them, e.g. our neighbour will say to us "Mummy liked that' when she could say 'My mother liked that'.

Mind you, I think the same to a lesser extent when people say 'Mum liked that' (instead of 'My mum/mother').

Oh and I call my father either his name/papa/father and my mother by her name.

MixedNutPlate · 27/08/2010 20:41

I called his 'Mum' and my dad 'Dada' simple as until last year we also had his 'Dad' and mine was happy with it, makes chatting about parents easier to us and them.

ByThePowerOfGreyskull · 27/08/2010 20:44

I still use Mummy and Daddy but he has transmogrified into Pops because that is what the boys call him and it seems to work for me to call him that too.

paranoidmother · 27/08/2010 20:46

Around here (Oxford ) a lot of the private school kids ( 12+) call them Mummy.

"Mummy I was going to Sara's house tomorrow for ski-ing"

Sorry dislike it once kids are older say about 7-8 yrs old I think. Only me though.

Mummsy is even worse!!

AgentZigzag · 27/08/2010 20:49

I find it even weirder not to refer to the parental roll at all and call them by their first names.

Don't you want any acknowledgement of the special relationship you have with your children ragwort?

I want my DC to remember all the snot/nappies/sick I've had to clean up on their behalf every time they talk to or refer to me Smile

AgentZigzag · 27/08/2010 20:52

Please tell me you've never heard anyone calling their mum mummsy apart from in jest paranoid.

LittleSilver · 27/08/2010 20:54

I call my mother Mummy. So there. Ner-ner.

undercovamutha · 27/08/2010 20:58

My Dad only ever referred to his mum as 'Mother', from when he was a young child to when she died aged 93. It always sounded so formal, and well, a little bit cold tbh.

Every now and again my DD (4yo) calls me mum (instead of mummy) and I hate it!

eatyourveg · 27/08/2010 21:14

My mother is 70 and has always called her parents mummy and daddy - my aunt 68 does the same.

ds1 calls me mother ds2 calls me mummy and ds3 mum. I like the fact that they each use what they want.

I always used to think mother was a bit cold when my best friend used it until his mother died at a ripe old age. Since ds1 got into the habit however (when he hit 14-15) I found I actually rather like it - especially when he calls me mother dear/dearest

EthelredOnAGoodDay · 27/08/2010 21:18

have to admit, the only people i know who do it are at the posher end of my spectrum of friends. Better tho' than my DH who refers to his as mother and father.... Hmm

reddaisy · 27/08/2010 21:22

I agree with the OP, it makes me cringe. We considered ourselves "too cool" to call our parents mummy and daddy after about 8.

Each to their own I suppose but I have known people to snigger at others who use the term in public.

LJS666 · 27/08/2010 21:23

My DCs stopped calling me Mummy when they were about 5 and I stopped calling my Mum Mummy at about 5. But I had older sisters.

Kind of wish they would though.

They call me "Mumbis"

Which is a combination of "Mum" and "Tubbis" (Tubby) - bastards.

BecauseImWorthIt · 27/08/2010 21:34

Well I still call my dad 'daddy' - at least to his face. To everyone else, I refer to him as 'my dad'.

But the hard thing is - because I know how much people ridicule it - 'daddy' is his name as far as I'm concerned! It would be like your DH, who is called Brian, suddenly asking you to call him Keith.

And as my mummy is dead she will always be mummy.

MaeMobley · 27/08/2010 21:34

So OP, what does one use when one when one stops with Mummy and Daddy?

Mum and Dad is way too common and Catharine and William is plain wrong.

LadyBiscuit · 27/08/2010 21:41

When are you supposed to decide that you're not going to call them that any more? if there are a spread of children do the older ones call them mum and dad and the younger ones don't get to call them that until they reach double figures or something?

How absurd. If you call your parents ma and pa or mum and dad, no one expects you to switch to a more grown up version once you get tits. Mummy and Daddy they will remain until they die. And fuck off if you don't like it Wink

nameymcnamechange · 27/08/2010 21:45

ROFFLE at "Mum and Dad is way too common".

Incase you did not know it, alternatives for our upper class friends include:

mother and father

mater and pater

mama and papa

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