To Feel Like This About My Weight?

[charley24]

Ok, Long story so bear with me, I suppose I am looking for some kind of self help or understanding and perhaps I am being a bit unreasonable too, on myself !

I have always had weight issues from being around 20 years old. (Now 35).

When I had my 2nd DD 6 years ago I weighed 17 stone, large I know and I wore a size 20 clothing. I don't eat for confort, I simply eat because I love eating...I could blame all sorts of things but the fact is I am quite lazy and I eat the wrong foods.

Anyways I digress......So after DD2 was born I joined Weight Watchers and 1 year later I got married and weighed 12 stone 10lbs. Not light as a feather but for my 5'6 I wa still classed as overweight but I felt nice and looked ok, wore a size 14 wedding dress.

Anyways weight up and down - between 12.8 and 14.12 for a few years.

Last summer 14.12.....so I did the cambridge diet, which as you may know means no food for weeks, and I managed 13 weeks and ended up 11 stone and although still a size 14 trousers, I was a size 12 top.

It was very very hard but the rewards were good, shopping ! Loving photographs of myself.

I tried to keep the weight off, but you may know after these kind of diets it isn't easy and of course I slipped back into my old ways.

I am now 14.3 and miserable, however because I 'got to' 11 stone - healthy BMI it is like I am HUGE and I am actually so embarrased as feel like the girl who lost weight and put it all back on.

I am joining a new slimming class Monday and have signed up for a bootcamp so hopefully I can actually learn that to be able to maintain a healthy figure I do need to watch what I eat and also exersize.

I suppose my AIBU is that I feel like I got to an unrealistic weight of 11 stone (incidentally people said I looked ill, but that I probably because they had seen my moon face for years).

I just want to try and get my mind in a good place because it won't be easy not losing 10lbs a week, then 4 pounds every week after that which is what happened on the cambridge.

Can anyone give me any support or anyone been on a VLCD and survived afterwards.

I just feel so depressed about it, 2 other girls did the diet when I did and are still maintaining these tiny figures, whilst I have put 3 stone back on !!!!!!!!!

my first reaction to this is the fact you have not mentioned the following 2:

exercise
normal healhty eating

if you are, then great! but "diets" are n ot sustainable. I think WW will be fab but not in isolation

also, maybe you need to accept that you are a size 14-16? maybe thats you? then focus on nice clothes, hair etc and look gorgeous a anyway. Look at Makosi on BB, she looks gorgeous

not everyone is a size 10-12

be kind to yourself

YANBU, but I think there is more to this than merely weight loss. I am vast, I am bigger than big and have no idea what I weigh (no scales), nor what size clothes I wear, we live overseas and have continental sizes. I know my shoe size though. Enormous.
Good luck with your diet I hope that losing weight makes you happy.

charley I dont think anyone overeats just because they 'love eating'. I think there must be deeper reasons why you do not stop when you are full.

Blimey, preview before posting. That last sentance sounded really harsh. I do mean that in a non sarcastic way.

YANBU. It's never 'unreasonable' to feel like you do, it just 'is'. You said yourself, 11 stone was unrealistic for you, & others said you didn't look your best. You need to have an achievable goal in mind, what do YOU want from this? Sounds like you were happier at 12st(forget about the other skinny minnies, whatever weight you are, there will always be someone lighter/heavier than you, it's by the by). You starved yourself when you got down to your lowest weight - that is neither maintainable or healthy. It's about a sensible change to what you know are unhealthy habits. I think it's difficult to keep weight off if you've lost it at a rate of more than around 1-2lbs a week (as this means you've lost it in an extreme way). Just a bit of 'tweaking' & you'll soon be doing a bit more exercise & a bit less junk food without it being a chore or a diet, just a healthier lifestyle. Good luck, you'll feel better for it x (I'm going to read this back to myself when I'm ready to lose my baby weight!!)

11 stone isn't unrealistic if you are 5' 6''.

Ignore people who say you look ill when you lose weight, they're usually just jealous and hoping you'll put it all back on. I doubt you looked ill at 11stone.

Getting into the mindset of losing 1-2 pounds a week is hard but it will happen. 3 stone at 2 lb a week is only 5 months total and you'll look better after only a few weeks.

The key to keeping weight off or to keeping up any new plan is in changing your mindset. We all have a "self concept" that our unconscious minds think we should be, because that's what we have always been. If you don't change this then your mind will constantly sabotage you and try to return you to your original self concept. Slimming clubs tand to be cottoning on to this now (although they all call it different things) e.g slimming world does a body image type talk after each weigh-in. If your new club offers anything like this you should definitely stay for it.

On a practical level, I find weighing no more than once a week while losing weight, so that you don't get discouraged, and weighing every day whilst maintaining, so you can nip any gains in the bud, is

'helpful' should be the last word there!

I think you need to pay as much attention to why you eat too much as you do to losing the weight, otherwise you will always tend to put the weight back on.

How about seeking some help from a dietician who can help you understand your eating habits, which is the key to changing them permanently? Ask around for a recommendation. They aren't cheap - but how much have you spent on diets and buying new clothes every time you go up/down in size?

Think about it this way too - how much of your precious life have you spent thinking about fooddietslosingweightgainingweightfatthinBMI and the rest of that boring old cobblers?
You've tried diets - try working with your mind as well.

Good luck!

ime you also need to enjoy the exercise, so do keep looking for something you like. I "found" running and find it so de-stressing, but you might be more of a team person, or more of a dancing person, or whatever.

Also, FWIW, I think "cutting the crap" is far more sustainable than any kind of diet.

It takes a lot of thinking through, to decide what it is you want and how you're going to achieve it. But I bet you can :)

Ah thank you :)
What lovely posts, don't worry I need to be told!

I think I have lived in this cycle for the last 15 years or so, and yes, to me 12 stone is realistic for me.

I loved being 11 stone, BUT I still felt 14 stone, if you know what I mean ? I don't think my head had time to catch up with the weight loss !

I think I am most upset because I swore I would never be big again, and of course look where that got me !

As for eating, I basically enjoy eating very much, and will eat and eat even when full, I have a thing for haribo's and can eat packets. It is pure GREED !

I have bought a pair of running shoes and I went out a few days ago and ran for 2 mins/walked a min etc and it was killing me BUT I actually did it!

I just want to try and start being healthy on a positive note, as I feel despondent at the moment.

I do appreciate all your posts and I think I just need some help to begin so to speak !

creampie, you talk an awful lot of sense ! It's my mind that needs an overhaul also !

Older

Think about it this way too - how much of your precious life have you spent thinking about fooddietslosingweightgainingweightfatthinBMI and the rest of that boring old cobblers?

Oh dear, how about every second of everyday !!!!!!!!

Porca, Makosi does look good, but perhaps the dress she wore friday was a bit ott !

You've lost weight before, so there is no reason why you can't do it again. You have proved you have the will power and the determination needed to lose weight successful.

I wonder if you class yourself as a yo-yo dieter, so expect to put the weight back on. My thinnest friends never let themselves gain more than a couple of pounds before doing something about it. I can gain half a stone, know that i need to do something, but don't. Then the half stone turns into stones. My friend who has recently lost 5 stone with WW, said that she has finally acknowledge that this is her life now, she can't not monitor her weight, otherwise she will slip back to her old habits. Depressing, isn't it?

Good luck, you can do it. 'Just' eat less, more more!

Good luck charley, you know you can do it, you did it before. In fact you have practice, so you'll be even better this time!

I recommend Atkins bars for guilt-free snacks - I'm currently munching a chocolate decadence :) Tastes like a chocolate brownie but better, has 16g of protein and only 1g of sugar. You feel like you've had a treat and won't feel hungry due to the protein, it's like eating a packet of ham

I'm quite evangelical about them atm they are 2 squid though. Superdrug and bigger Tescos sell them.

"I dont think anyone overeats just because they 'love eating'" really !!!

god i love eating i love food and honestly have never found a 'healthy' option that tastes as good as the bad stuff. love eating out and even though feel full often have just a few more bites just cause it tastes sooo nice !

i wish i loved sushi or salad !

to keep normal weight have to counteract with loads of exercise !!!

dont think i have any psychological issues etc just love food

make sure you do a proper diet, no really dangerous food restrictive ones like the Cambridge diet. If you 'starve' yourself physically or mentally then you will feel shit.
Take it slowly, make eating healthily a whole life style change not simply to lose weight now.
Don't think of it as dieting, think of it a being healthy, that that way you are more likely to succeed in the long term.
I reckon most of these fad diets should be banned.

There are lots of friendly and useful people on the weightloss threads on here, head over there for support.

I know Atkins and Dukan are probably classifiable as 'fad diets' but there's lots to be said for their philosophy of eating more protein and fat and less carbs. Cut out sugar and random white puff with each meal and you'll be amazed at how cravings disappear.

Paul McKenna is really good at helping you change your mindset.

here it is

I avoided all the screaming women on the tv, but listening to the cd everyday was very helpful to me.

I lost five and half stone in 2002 going from 14st down to 8.7st. Now, one baby and 8 years later I go up and down between 9st and 9.7st. I lost the weight in roughly nine months which was too fast. My health suffered as I was moody and lost lots of hair. Even now my hair is very thin.

After having DS3 in 2006 I joined Weight Watchers. I was about 11st when I joined and lost 2st. As I said above I now hover between 9st and 9.7st. When I start to go over the 9.7st I go back to Weight Watcher meetings as I like the support.

The Cambridge Diet is a fast fix but it's not real food. You've got to re-learn how to eat real food to the point of satisfaction.

Go back to WW. Through WW I've learnt what foods I can fill up on and which foods I should eat in moderation. I'm human, I slip and eat huge bags of Twiglets (Yesterday ) but I know it's not the end of the world and today I'm back on track. WW means I can still shop normally as there's no special foods to buy and I can eat out with friends in any restaurant and find something on the menu that won't sabotage my weight loss/maintenance.

It's always free to register so go along to a local meeting or join up online. I know what a slog losing weight is but you'll get lots of support from WW. I honestly think I'd be 14+ without them as I couldn't possibly go back to the one meal a day diet.

14st+ I meant.

Also wanted to add that you don't have to join a gym to exercise. Just 30 mins of walking every day will make a difference. You can make small changes too by taking the stairs instead of lifts and parking as far from the supermarket as you can. Don't buy multi pint bottles of milk when you go to the supermarket and walk to your local shop daily to buy a pint. Or, get a dog!

what about slimming world? i think it could work as it is realistic, just changes your habits and bit and can keep it up long term. also you don't have to starve because you can have unlimited of the free foods, so if you want to eat you can eat

I agree with stickylittlefingers- find a form of exercise you love (or even just like, sto start with). For me it was karate. Then after ds2 was born I joined a gym, partly for the 'side benefit' of having a sneaky hour or so to myself in the day while ds2 is in the creche, but also becuase I wanted to get fitter and stronger for my karate.

I also weigh myself every day. Now I know this isn't for everyone and probably goes against a lot of dietary advice, but the scales are on my way out of the bedroom so I just hop on. This way, if I put on a few pounds (after a holiday, say) I cut down on my food straightaway. It then only takes few days to get back down.

I do eat like a horse and I love my food. I just compensate for it by doing lots of exercise.

By the way, if you'd told me a decade ago I'd be voluntarily doing vigorous exercise four or five times a week I would've laughed in your face. I so wasn't the exercising type. But I certainly am now.....

Good luck, whichever way you go!

Charley, off topic a bit, but can I ask which bootcamp you've signed up to?

I'm on WW and doing well, slowly, but have been thinking about doing a bootcamp week to give me a 'kick up the arse'. There's one in the peak district, that gives workshops on emotional eating, nutrition and behavioral change, as well as allll the exercise, but am too chicken to book it on my own.

Has anyone ever invested in one these? And invest it is, as they're really expensive!