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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

if DS1 says one more time how much he needs a mobile phone I think I will.....

27 replies

DrZeus · 27/08/2010 10:20

.....scream. He is 8 years old FFS. 8 year old boys do not need mobile phones. He doesn't understand that they

a. cost money to buy
b. cost money to run

He won't need to ring me because I'm with him FFS.

Anyone else having this problem or is it just me?

OP posts:
Tortington · 27/08/2010 10:22

my bil got his 8 year old a mobile phone the other day.

its just obscene

Original poster
DrZeus · 27/08/2010 10:23

I think know that some of his friends have them. So to him, it's a given. If they have one, then so can he.

OP posts:
TheNextMrsDepp · 27/08/2010 10:26

My 10yo is always on about this. I'm standing firm til senior school REGARDLESS of how many of his mates have them, how mean I am, how unfair it is etc. etc.

AlgebraRocksMySocks · 27/08/2010 10:27

YANBU! yr7 is the right stage IMO.

PandaG · 27/08/2010 10:27

my DC are 8 and 10. a couple of weeks ago we were at a big camping event where they had a lot of freedom all day and into the evening - we lent them both an old mobile phone with £10 credit on it, just so they could keep in touch with us if needed.

There is no need for my 8yo to have a phone under any other circumstances, we are considering getting the 10 yo one for his 11th birthday, as he is having a bit more independence now.

Original poster
DrZeus · 27/08/2010 10:28

Yep, I am such a BAD mother, it's SO UNFAIR, ALL MY FRIENDS have one, YOU DON"T LIKE ME mummy, etc etc (sorry for the shouting Confused Grin)

OP posts:
AlgebraRocksMySocks · 27/08/2010 10:28

well except in very special circumstances like if they are at boarding school or share residency with divorced parents maybe. I know my DSS had one at a younger age (10) because he used to travel quite far to footy practice alone, whereas his sisters didn't so they didn't need one.

so an average 8yo, no way.

muggglewump · 27/08/2010 10:30

DD wants one, I've told her she can have one when she's starts high school, and not before. She's 9.

Original poster
DrZeus · 27/08/2010 10:30

OK, on the very odd occasion that we've been out and about and (as usual), both DC have gone off in completely opposite directions, THEN it would have been useful. However, I've threatened (in the nicest way possible) that toddler reins would be more appropriate than a mobile phone. Then they wouldn't go off in the first place!

OP posts:
ragged · 27/08/2010 10:33

DD wants an iPod Touch for her 9th birthday; I've told her to ask for money for everyone and then she'll see if she can afford one. Then I talk about all the other things she could buy with her money instead! Suddenly iPod Touch doesn't look so good.

That said, Tell the truth, we have some old/battered/screen-broken PAYG phones that I let DC use if they go somewhere without me -- eg, I let DD and her 8yo mate walk without me to swim pool a few weeks ago.

Most children around here have their own phones by the start of Yr5 (it is normal around here for them to be free-range around at that point or soon after, and are making independent trips to shop by 9th birthday too). So it's good that they understand perfectly how to use a phone before that point.

sweetnitanitro · 27/08/2010 10:34

Tell him if he needs one so badly he can have one of your old ones, then give him one of those big, old-fashioned brick phones. He'll soon change his mind Grin

OracleOfDelphinium · 27/08/2010 10:37

YANBU. My DS is eight and, fortunately, has no interest and no friends with mobiles either. If he were interested, he would not be having one. But, then again, I'd baulk at one in Y7 (brain cancer, jaw cancer etc etc)...

Original poster
DrZeus · 27/08/2010 11:43

He's about to start year 4. I do have an old brick phone which he pretended was his not so long ago. No sim and flat battery! Given his current record of leaving toys/stuff lying around and then losing it, I'd give a mobile phone a very limited lifespan. It's the whole principle of an 8 year old with a phone that I just cannot agree with.

OP posts:
Claw3 · 27/08/2010 11:52

Both of my older ds's didnt get a mobile phone until they started secondary school and started traveling to school by themselves.

Totally agree, no need to have them until they are out and about on their own.

thisiswhataluv · 27/08/2010 11:56

sorry but imo 8 is far too young...
my nextdoor neigbours daughter has one... she is 5 and in reception fgs Hmm

PerpetuallyAnnoyedByHeadlice · 27/08/2010 12:10

i do know people that young who have them but I will only get them for my DC when they go to secondary school and are going on their own and relying on public buses

so DD1 will have one for her 11th bday

PerpetuallyAnnoyedByHeadlice · 27/08/2010 12:14

and whn they do have one it will be used for contacting home,emergencies etc - when they are a bit older and into texting friends we will have to work out some kind of allowance/pocket money increase to cover it and they will have to learn responsibility

too many parents give their kids what they want all the time and then throw endless money at them,replacing lost and broken stuf that has not been cared for - they need to learn to look after stuff, budget and make decisions

bargainhuntingbetty · 27/08/2010 12:21

My nearly 10yo dd was begging me for a mobile for her xmas. I found a really old on hiding in the bottom of a cupboard the other day and we have given her that on the condition that it only gets used for emergencies. She has taken up with some new friends and they tend to go a bit firther afield now there are more of them and I feel safer knowing that I can get her and she can get me whenever there is a problem. i.e last week she was at the park and someone threw a stone at her head, her friend had to run all the way back alone leaving dd at the park to tell me what had happened so that I could go and get her (TBH DD was beinga drama queen and could have come home on her own but hey). They also go to a youth club just round the corned and want to go there on their own and I would rather she had a phone for those reasons only, she is abolsutelu NOT allowed to text/phone her friends at will.

muggglewump · 27/08/2010 15:23

My DD goes off round the estate with her friends, and also goes to Youth Club. She still isn't having a phone until she goes to High School, and she'll have one then because I deem it old enough, and I'm quite happy for her to use it for her social life then.

Right now, she'll have to have a friend run home to get me, or come home herself!

I don't think times have changed that much since I was young (I'm 32), and we all managed without phones.
Why is it that parents will get their kids them the second they are out of sight for two minutes?

bargainhuntingbetty · 27/08/2010 17:07

I apologies if I have offended Mugglewump, I managed perfectly fine without a mobile phone also but I know for a fact that if I had gone out of shouting distance and my mum and dad had to come look for me for dinner etc I was not popular and they got quite annoyed. It just makes life that wee bit easier that I dont have to scour the street/park etc looking for her when its time to come in etc.

huffythethreadslayer · 27/08/2010 17:21

DD's 9, not overly interested in mobile phones, unlike some of the kids in her class who have them already and are talking about iphones for birthdays and Christmas.

I've told dd she can have one when she goes to the High School. That's when she'll be walking alone, about half a mile a day, and I like the idea of knowing where she is.

She knows it'll be the cheapest phone going, with either a cheap contract with texts/emergency calls or a payg, with little credit being given every month.

Luckily dd is quite sensible about this kind of thing and isn't fussing about it at all. Of course, when the peer pressure kicks in, I might not be feeling so smug about things :)

nbee84 · 27/08/2010 17:49

Agree with most others that secondary school age is the time to get a phone.

I love mobile phones and wish I had had one as a teenager. It's only now that I have had teenage children that I can truly understand the stresses that parents have when their children become independent. I was often in trouble for being late home or going on to a different place than was originally planned before I went out. A mobile gives you some peace of mind that you can get hold of them, and they you. You can text them if you are running late, to check pick up times and places, to check which bus they are getting and if they have caught/missed it.

Pesha · 27/08/2010 18:11

My dd is 9 and she does have a mobile phone. I first got her one for when she went to her dad's so we were able to keep in touch without going through him. She doesn't see him anymore but does go off out to the park or to the shops with friends and I feel much happier knowing she has her phone with her.
Last weekend we went camping with friends at an amusement park and let her and my friend's dd, whos 11, go off and do whatever they wanted which I never would have done if she didn't have her phone (mostly so I could ring her and say 'get back now we're going to lunch/back to the tent/home because ds2 is driving me nuts!!), and if we hadn't let them do that I think trying to balance the needs of a 3yo, 6yo, 7yo, 9yo and 11yo would have made the whole thing a lot more stressful!
An increasing number of her friends do have phones now though and she has been texting them and calling them quite a lot through the holidays but as its not been easy to meet up with her friends I think thats quite nice that shes kept in touch.
I think if I hadn't got her one to visit her dad then I probably still wouldn't have got her one now but I'm glad I have as its enabled me to give her more independance whilst still being able to get hold of her and find out where she is or chase her up or let her know of a change of plans or whatever.
DS1 is 7 and also desperate for a phone (although only for the games I think!) but will not be getting one for some time!!

Pesha · 27/08/2010 18:19

Sorry have just read some of the previous posts properly and it sounds like I'm trying to directly contradict them which I'm not, I was just giving my reasons for letting her keep her phone, like I said if she didn't already have it I probably wouldn't have got her one but as she does have it I have definitely seen a lot of advantages for me aswell as her.

bottyburpthebarbarian · 27/08/2010 18:22

My DD1 is 11. She got her mobile for passing her 11+

DD2 is 8. She has my old mobile which has no credit in it and she plays games on it.

DD1 is now at secondary school and will be walking to and from school and getting more independence.

Before that age, to be honest, there's little point because unless all of their friends have them, who are they going to ring/text?

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