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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

In thinking that when you pay for a service, they shouldn't be using you to promote themselves

28 replies

princesspuds · 24/08/2010 21:40

Ok, please bear with me as this is also my first AIBU.

We have had our wedding booked for a while and were due to get married in 2011, circumstances changed and we had to postpone until 2012, most of our booking were great even though we expected to have lost some deposits we lost none at all.

Here lies the problem, we have booked a chocolate fountain company who have got back to us and said because out wedding is on a Saturday instead of the Friday it is more expensive.....Fair enough I suppose, what I am objecting to is the fact he is posting pictures of all the weddings he has done plus guests and bride and groom including full names, dates and place, AIBU in thinking that we shouldn't be used to promote his wedding as I don't want all and sundry looking at my wedding on FB when he is supposed to be booked to provide a service which does not include photography.

TBPF, it is making me think twice about using him now.

OP posts:
zapostrophe · 24/08/2010 21:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

LucyLouLou · 24/08/2010 21:45

Have you brought up your concerns with him? I would have a problem with names and location being mentioned, but I wouldn't be too bothered about the date tbh. Can't you request he doesn't take photos of you? If he isn't the official photographer, I would imagine it's as simple as saying that you don't want him to take photos. I don't think you really have the right to make a huge deal out of this until you have spoken to him about your feelings.

Original poster
princesspuds · 24/08/2010 21:51

No I haven't spoken to him yet, I have him added on my FB as a friend shortly after we booked him, and he has also posted pics from school proms.

I would probably be more inclined to cancel and lose the deposit rather than have the possibility of him going against my wishes at the wedding IYSWIM.

OP posts:
LucyLouLou · 24/08/2010 21:56

Yeah, I see where you're coming from. FWIW, I think you're in the right, but I really think it's worth approaching him first to see how reasonable he is with your request. If you get a genuine sense he might go against your wishes, that's when you consider cancelling, but do everything you can to avoid that, no point losing money since weddings are so expensive. If you get a sense he might not stick to what you say, quote what zapostrophe said to him, then weigh up how much it would impact you to have a couple of photos of your wedding on his profile. If it really doesn't matter that much, and this is more of an irk than a real problem, I'd be inclined to push the issue to one side and just take a risk with him.

Original poster
princesspuds · 24/08/2010 22:06

Thing is, its not just a couple, he has in the region of about 50 pics on average in each booking on there.

If we had paid a large deposit I would obviously been having second thoughts, but we have only paid £50 with another £450 to pay.

I know what you mean about wedding being expensive, I paid £600 for my dress and have decided I don't like it and have fell in love with another oneConfused

Thanks for your advice ladies, it is much appreciatedGrin

OP posts:
curlymama · 24/08/2010 23:51

How did I know you were talking about a wedding supplier as soon as I read the title of this thread!? Grin They are all at it!

I'd just mention to him that you don't want your photos used, and tell your photographer the same incase he asks them directly. I don't see why he would have a problem with you asking tbh. Make sure you own the copyright on your official photos as well.

We got married last year and the photgrapher used some of our pictures on his website, but he did ask first. Maybe he was planning to ask you if you would mind nearer the time anyway.

chitchat07 · 25/08/2010 00:36

How would he get photos of you? All he does is deliver the chocolate fountain, surely, or does he have to stay until the whole time it is running?

SurreyDad · 25/08/2010 00:40

Will it just be photos of you, or will guests be on there too? If the guests are on it without their knowledge or consent, then you could end up liable...

Deliaskis · 25/08/2010 10:50

From what I can gather from the OP, the postponement/extra charge all other info is just background yes?

This sounds like a complete non-issue to me. Just ask him not to take or use any photos of your wedding.

D

Original poster
princesspuds · 25/08/2010 11:06

There is a team of them who stay and serve the guests, you can't just help yourself, the photos are of guests as well as the bride and groom.

It just bugs me a bit which makes me want to cancel him tbh

OP posts:
GwendolineMaryLacey · 25/08/2010 11:06

You're paying £500 for a chocolate fountain?? Shock. Have you got thousands of guests? Is it using liquid gold? Caviar on the little sticks?

Or am I just hopelessly out of touch. My cousin is having one but it's part of the hotel deal.

Bumperlicious · 25/08/2010 11:35

Actually photographers do own the copywrite to their own photos and can use them as they wish. But a chocolate fountain supplier is different and if it bothers you I would refuse or cancel.

ALovelyBunchOfCoconuts · 25/08/2010 11:37

£500 is rather expensive, we had a chocolate fountain for our wedding (4months ago) and it was the largest one they did, with fruit, cookies, doughnuts, the full works and it was only £100 and the didnt stay with it, it was just a help yourself job.

Have you rang round some other fountain suppliers to get competitive quotes? I would hazard a guess that you could get it alot more reasonably priced with a supplier you'd feel more comfortable dealing with.

munkymaz · 25/08/2010 11:38

Blinkin' 'eck.....£500!!!
You can buy them for £50!! Can whoever is doing your catering not sort one out for you??

Rocky12 · 25/08/2010 11:53

Lets not get into I can get a second hand one for £10 quid etc. Weddings are always expensive events, no one really wants to scrimp and save for one of the most important days of their lives. £50 fountains would really not be suitable for a wedding IMHO...

5Foot5 · 25/08/2010 13:30

Jesus - do people actually make a living out of chocolate fountains? At £500 a go I suppose they must! I guess you must really, really like chocolate. Shock

owlshoes · 25/08/2010 13:31

I'm a wedding photographer. I would never use photos of a wedding on my website or for publicity unless I'd asked the bride and groom first. Main reason - you want to keep your customers happy or they won't recommend you to anyone else!

In the contract I use it specifies whether I can use the photos for this purpose and people can cross it out if they wish but I'd still ask. It's the polite thing to do.

I'm sure if you have a chat with the supplier they will agree to not taking photos. It's not in their interests to lose business or reputation over something that.

peppapighastakenovermylife · 25/08/2010 14:28

Now I really want a chocolate fountain Grin

Perhaps he will ask if he gets a good photo?

sanielle · 25/08/2010 14:33

I'm sure he will ask your permission, but double check with him anyway.

Deliaskis · 25/08/2010 15:05

princesspuds it really shouldn't bug you, unless he had actually taken/put your photos on there. You don't know anything about the people on there, they might be happy about it, they might have been paid a substantial fee for all you know, or had a freebie event if they agreed to do this etc. People might have asked him to take photos and make them available for friends and family etc. The only thing that you should really be bothered about is your own wedding.

I think YABU to be bothered and thinking of cancelling over this.

D

Original poster
princesspuds · 25/08/2010 15:17

Delia, I am thinking of my own wedding and my guests, I have been looking at his website, and his FB group page and personal FB page, I keep finding more pics of weddings.

I have body confidence issues myself and whilst this isn't his fault or problem I wouldn't be happy for anyone to photograph me to put up on FB for everyone to see (dreading the wedding pics)

DP decided to book the fountain and chose the first one he saw at a wedding fayre, he also agrees with me that it isn't ideal and the reason I am thinking of cancelling is my day would be ruined by someone not respecting my decision which is something I am not prepared to let happen.

OP posts:
morganlebuffay · 25/08/2010 15:19

I'm sure he won't take photos etc. if you don't want him too. He's not going to throw away £500 over that. He who pays the piper calls the tune, and all that. Or, what Deliaskis said.

morganlebuffay · 25/08/2010 15:22

Woah looking more closely it does sound like he takes a lot of photos... 50 photos per booking just to showcase his chocolate fountain?? wtf?? Just ask him upfront about it. Or alternatively cancel your wedding photographer and get 2 for the price of 1! Wink

sparkle12mar08 · 25/08/2010 15:22

Given your misgivings anyway, I would just cancel and chalk the £50 up to experience. And tell your soon-to-be husband not to book the first thing he sees on impulse ever again!

FeedTheBeast · 25/08/2010 15:31

Cancel the fountain (yak- but then i guess i'm not a big chocolate fan) and put the money towards the dress of your dreams!