Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not be overly impressed with being called a wimp today?

68 replies

DetectivePotato · 24/08/2010 20:21

Some mums and I were discussing birth today as me and another mum are both 15 weeks pregnant so have been comparing notes etc and talking about our experience of CB last time.

The pregnant mum said she wanted to get an inflatable ring to sit on next time as she was in a lot of pain sitting down for weeks. I said I had a soft cushion as I had a bad tear and had to be stitched in theatre for about 45 minutes and it was really painful.

The other mum, who had a c section, turned around and said "oh you wimps" about sitting on cushions. She then said about how she didn't take any pain medication after as she doesn't like tablets. Me and the other pregnant mum said we took loads of painkillers and they took the edge of but it was still really painful.

I did say to the other mum "well I did tear from front to back and it was really painful" but I actually wish I had a better answer.

Not saying that a c section isn't bad. I would probably consider it worse and I may have to have one myself this time, but she then went on about how she was up ironing and cooking the day after while me and the other mum said we struggled to walk and do hardly anything.

She really made it sound as if we were putting it on and should have just got on with it.

I really detest being called a wimp for having a massive rip in my fanjo that meant I could barely walk and has left me with slight problems now.

OP posts:
sloanypony · 24/08/2010 22:25

No, it is abdominis.

Okay, so I can't spell.

Snobear4000 · 24/08/2010 22:55

WHo the fuck irons, BTW?

hairytriangle · 24/08/2010 23:00

"I really detest being called a wimp for having a massive rip in my fanjo"

Grin you are definately not a wimp, the woman clearly has some weird one-up-womanship-about birth!

"I could have ironed the next day. If I was a fucking mug that is. "

This is why I love mumsnet so much :)

and thesecondcoming you are funny and have cheered me up on a bad day, so thank you!

AlCrowley · 25/08/2010 08:08

I agree with you sloany, the emergency sections are MUCH more painful afterwards.

I think it's because it's more of a hack and slash job cause they need to get in there fast.

I was told with the second, they would take their time getting in and separate all the layers properly so it would be a neater job. There was definitely less shaking me around as they did the elective....

MaamRuby · 25/08/2010 08:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

diddl · 25/08/2010 08:20

Well well done her & I hope all the cooking & ironing was appreciatedHmm

Sad cow that she couldn´t think of anything better to do when first home with her newborn.

Jeez, I was lucky enough not to tear or have stitches, but it still felt as if my bits were near my nears and something had been battering me from the inside.

Oh, wait....!

Jamieandhismagictorch · 25/08/2010 08:46

It's not a competition, and everyone's experience is different.

In my experience, the physical recovery from my vaginal delivery (baaad piles and a 2nd degree tear), was much worse than the physical recovery from my EMCS - which healed very well, with little pain beyond the first few days.

You need to ignore women like this.

Jamieandhismagictorch · 25/08/2010 08:48

... but the emotional recovery from the EMCS was much harder

SkiHorseWonAWean · 25/08/2010 08:49

Bullshit was she out of the hospital 24 hrs later. Large dose of salt required!

Original poster
DetectivePotato · 25/08/2010 09:34

Its quite possible skihorse our hospital are chucking women out 2 days after their c sections as they are sooooo busy.

Maamruby made me laugh! Grin

Snobear not me, only DH's work shirts when I can really be bothered. I've only recently talked my best friend into not ironing everything she has, as she was creating much more work for herself.

I too could think of far better things to be doing when I was home with my newborn. Like bloody panicking!

OP posts:
SkiHorseWonAWean · 25/08/2010 09:42

Well if she was I hope someone's put in for her medal! Wink

Things to do with a newborn include panicking, crying, trying to have a poo in your own toilet, crying because there's no fresh milk in, crying because you've got visitors coming, crying in tandem with the baby, etc., etc.

PawMum · 25/08/2010 09:50

with my first I had an episiotomy ANd a C-Section

beat that one:o

littlebylittle · 25/08/2010 09:53

for goodness sake. Once again someone who's forgotten that it isn't possible to feel someone else's pain, understand what they have to deal with too, or got the idea that it's not competitive (and not that it's not competitive really but those who do it with no pain relief are after all a bit better than the rest of us really). Bit like most things in life and meeting people just after childbirth is a good way to see them for what they really are. I have found that that often transfers to not really understanding people's dilemmas in other aspects of life. People are all doing the best with what they've got, whether it's childbirth, finances, careers, looks etc. Here endeth my rant. Live and let live and assume that people aren't doing stuff to wimp out

Original poster
DetectivePotato · 25/08/2010 10:00

Yes, crying was definitely something other than ironing to do! Grin

OP posts:
cornsillky · 25/08/2010 10:03

competitive childbirth Hmm can't bear people like that

susitwoshoes · 25/08/2010 10:08

Yanbu. Silly tart.

Original poster
DetectivePotato · 25/08/2010 10:09

Me neither. In fact I hate this whole competitive parenting thing.

My DS is pretty tall for his age but I have a couple of friends who say "oh look, my DC is nearly as tall as yours now" when there is a couple of inches difference.

Then one of the friends (and her DH) from above refer to my DS as Einstein as he talks well (I really am not bragging) I find it very awkward and uncomfortable really. She said she goes home from toddler group and her DH says "was Einstein there today?" Hmm

OP posts:
SeaTrek · 25/08/2010 10:34

YANBU - it is a ridiculous and really horrible thing to say!

sanielle · 25/08/2010 10:37

YANBU, but i'm not going to finish reading the thready because i'm pregnant and it's scary.

ALovelyBunchOfCoconuts · 25/08/2010 10:43

YANBU, she sounds like one of these detestable women that think it is some sort of competition on who can incur and cope with the most pain.

We all have different thresholds and we should be understanding and supportive toward one another not laughing and calling people wimps.

when I gave birth, I had a tear and an episiotomy (sp?) and I could barely sit for a week or two. I remember coming home from hospital and doing the first few feeds standing up!

Pioneer · 25/08/2010 10:47

As well as implying that I shouldn't have been screaming in labour, my mum also called my gynaecologist a wimp because he wouldn't do my LLETZ treatment under local anaesthetic.

He had tried to, but as I was extremely anxious and in a lot of discomfort, he refused to carry on and said a GA would be best for everyone.

Personally I thought he was being very caring and understanding. But, no, a bloody wimp she said.

Give me strength.

Original poster
DetectivePotato · 25/08/2010 10:52

Yes I am sure your mum knows better than the gynaecologist. Hmm

OP posts:
Pioneer · 25/08/2010 10:53

Honestly Detective Potato, it's the tip of the iceberg.....

thesecondcoming · 25/08/2010 10:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bumperlicious · 25/08/2010 11:02

I hope this isn't an actual friend of yours?

Who the fuck irons the day after giving birth?

I was walking up the road to the shops the day after DD was born, and gushing blood left right and centre, and I think the day after went to Waitrose and was hit with a massive sense of agoraphobia.

This time I am going to have more sense and bloody well stay in bed for as long as I can. Can't stand this competitive birthing/healing business, making people feel like they should be getting straight back to normality, went they have just gone through a major physical trauma, expending energy equivalent to running a marathon.

Oh and I was mainling paracetamol and ibruprofen for about 2 weeks after. Ibruprofen is just a sensible way of getting the swelling down. More fool your friend is all I can say.