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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think new bit in the ex-p's life is evil

51 replies

onlyone · 20/08/2010 21:14

Ex had picked up DCs for the day - all seemed fine.
15 mins later, get a text from his new slut asking where he is. I ignored it for a while but then got pissed off as whenever he has Daddy time with them she texts and calls all the time.

Told her he was with his kids for the day and none of her business.

She then tells me that he is nearby in a real state and about to do something stupid and wanted to end it all.

She lives 2 hrs away but is coming to "save" him. Me about ten mintues away if he has gone to where he told me had gone. I asked her to tell me where they were - she refused said not where I thought they had gone. he did not need me, she was coming to sort it out.

Am I being unreasonable to think she is an absolute evil evil sick bitch to tell me he is contemplating suicide with our DCS, tell me she knows where they are but will not tell me. If she was going to "save" him and not tell me why did she call me and let me know what was going on. I have never been so scared in my life, bawling my eyes out, trying to get hold of ex - who was of course on the phone to her.

I want to rip her throat out, am so angry.

OP posts:
Lauriefairycake · 20/08/2010 21:20

I hope you called the police and that your children are back safely

please arrange for further contact through a contact centre

and ignore her - she is clearly not nice

clam · 20/08/2010 21:23

Blimey. Is everything OK now? Are your children safe?

Original poster
onlyone · 20/08/2010 21:30

Finally got hold of him - crying and saying he would never do anything to harm DCs, was feeling bad about life, universe etc, could not understand why he felt so bad as he had made decisions over the past few months that should make him feel better but he felt worse.

DCs fine and none the wiser as only 2.5 and 1yr old.

He can not understand why I think she is playing with both our heads and that telling me he was about to kill himself and kids and not tell me where they were when she knew was so sick. Says she was jsut concerned for him.

OP posts:
DinahRod · 20/08/2010 21:32

Neither sound fit to be near your children.

Lauriefairycake · 20/08/2010 21:33

she is unimportant - you need to report this to the police

HecateQueenOfWitches · 20/08/2010 21:35

Forget about her. You need to ensure your children are safe. If your ex is disturbed, perhaps he should have supervised access for a bit until he gets help to sort himself out.

Getting on the phone to her and talking about ending it all - while he's got the kids with him? Not good.

Marjee · 20/08/2010 21:38

Shock she sounds like an evil bitch!

lucky1979 · 20/08/2010 21:40

Seriously - police now. Whatever she does or doesn't do is unimportant in the scheme of things, if there is even a tiny tiny chance that she is right to be concerned then your ex should only have supervised contact until he is recovered. She probably is a horribly manipulative cow, but if she isn't, then I can't even begin to contemplate the alternative.

LittleMissHissyFit · 20/08/2010 21:40

supervised contact in contact centre, please? Don't risk a second of your dc life at their hands. Tell everyone you need to about this. They will help ensure your dc safety.

Spacehopper5 · 20/08/2010 21:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

sloanypony · 20/08/2010 21:48

All other issues aside, why is she a slut?

Original poster
onlyone · 20/08/2010 21:48

He never said he was going to end it - she did.

Said he was upset but not to the extent he was going to end it all. Is now taking steps to get help with a number of issues - feel very sad for him, that his decisions have not led to the happiness he expected but where the hell is she coming from that she thinks she can do that someone.

I will support him, he is the DCs father and I do not want to deny him and them a relationship but the thought that this evil evil sick cow is also going to be part of their life is so sad.

OP posts:
Spacehopper5 · 20/08/2010 21:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
onlyone · 20/08/2010 21:54

To tell you why she is a slut - would clearly idenitfy her in real life, if I wrote it here, you would think we were in an episde of some hollywood drama. I sometimes think my life has become one since this all blew up. I struggle to believe this soap opera is my life sometimes.

As to why I did not call the Police - can honestly say, I did not think about it. Was in such a state myself - just wanted to speak to him, logic, clarity of thought out of the window etc etc

Panic Panic Panic - makes you forget all sense

OP posts:
Spacehopper5 · 20/08/2010 21:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

emmyloulou · 20/08/2010 21:55

Why was your first, very first point of call not to the police?

Let them decide if she is a evil cow who was doing it for attention or he was indeed a danger.

I would have had them out in force searching for them. They would have done too.

Vallhala · 20/08/2010 21:57

Supervised contact for him, a smack in the face for her. Angry

Whatever order you like.

Original poster
onlyone · 20/08/2010 21:59

Not sure what I would have said to Police - Ex in car - do not know the rego ( has got new car), do not know where he has gone but think he might be about to kill himself.

What could they have done?

OP posts:
Lauriefairycake · 20/08/2010 22:00

No, no - it doesn't matter if you didn't call the police then as you were panicking - you need to call them NOW and register it or you have no hope of preventing it happening again - you need to have this recorded.

Stop projecting all your anger on to her - she is irrelevant.

And stop thinking you can 'help' him - you have a duty to protect your children. Have compassion for him by all means but register this until he is mentally safe enough to be with them unsupervised.

emmyloulou · 20/08/2010 22:01

Are you for real seriously? You know his name don't you, DOB, address, mobile they can do a lot with that.

They could of been on full alert trying to find your kids, she was happy to let you think he may have been about to bump off, or at least leaving them whilst he did it.

What an odd reaction.

Lauriefairycake · 20/08/2010 22:02

"what could they have done" - they would have found out his car reg in 2 seconds from his name and they would have begun a search.

Olifin · 20/08/2010 22:02

Bloody hell. I was going to say you were a tad U for calling her a 'slut' but after reading the rest of your post, I can totally see why you must hate her.

She (and he) sound quite unhinged. I have no advice, sorry, but I hope your DCs and ex-p are all ok now.

Original poster
onlyone · 20/08/2010 22:10

DCs safe -he is seeing them but always with someone else present - that I know and trust.

He does understand why I am unable to let them go on their own and is now getting professional help.

Reading your comments, I am questioning why I did not call the police but can honestly say - my first thought was -she is being a drama queen ( has done other things all for effect) and then speak to him and you will know he is OK and kids.

One of those, until you are in that position, you do not know how you will react. As my first thought now is call the police but at the time - pure unadulterated panic

OP posts:
TrillianAstra · 20/08/2010 22:10

I'm afraid I stopped reading at 'his new slut'.

No advice for you apart from gaining some more respectful vocabulary towards other human beings.

Original poster
onlyone · 20/08/2010 22:19

I have no respect for this sad evil specimen of human kind - she has shown me none.

Respect is earned it is not an automatic right.

suggest you read the full post before you make uninformed judgements.

OP posts:
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