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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to worry about what kind of a horrible world i have brought kids into?

50 replies

superv1xen · 18/08/2010 18:38

the average person can no longer afford to buy houses, rents going up all the time (on the news last night it said it average rents had gone up by 10% just in the last year), and wages are so shit they have to be topped up with benefits.

if its this bad now whats it going to be like in 15-20 years when my kids are leaving home and looking for jobs and needing a place to live.

i dont own my own home, and never will be able to afford to. so i will have nothing to leave to them house-wise. and i won't be able to help them out financially to get on the property ladder as i am just mrs average and will never be able to earn enough to save to do that.

this country is shit and i hate it.

OP posts:
Ripeberry · 18/08/2010 18:43

People still had kids when in the middle of war and still are. Anything else can be sorted one way or another.
Buying your own home is not the 'Nirvana' it once was, more like a millstone around your neck.

Chill, they will find their own way in the world.

Morloth · 18/08/2010 18:43

The world is no better or worse than it has ever been really, details change but mostly things/people stay the same. 15/20 years from now could see the UK at the top of the pile globally or we could have nuked ourselves back to the caves.

Who knows?

booyhoo · 18/08/2010 18:46

yes it is awful that children in britain live in rented accomodation Hmm

ever been to a developing country?

McSnail · 18/08/2010 18:46

Things might change for the better!

Original poster
superv1xen · 18/08/2010 19:11

i am not saying there is anything wrong with renting but i just want my kids to have a secure home and a decent future when they are older.

they have a secure home now as i am in HA but if dave cameron gets his way they will probably to take it off me the minute i dare earn much above minimum wage. Angry

its not just houses and jobs, the cost of livings ridiculous these days, petrols through the roof and so is food.

OP posts:
Rainbowdropping · 18/08/2010 20:50

I bet there are a few people in Pakistan thinking similar things at the minute.

AnnieLobeseder · 18/08/2010 20:56

Oh good grief, take yourself off to the developing world, look around at the conditions some people live in, children having to work instead of to to school, living in a shack, no clean water.

Your children are some of the most fortunate in the world. They have healthcare, they are getting a free education, they can go anywhere and be anything. Even if fortune is not kind to them, they will be looked after by the State for the rest of their lives if needs be.

If you don't like it here, no-one is stopping you from leaving. Unlike people who live in truly appalling conditions in numerous other countries in the world and cannot leave no matter how much they might want to.

What a horrible whiny attitude.

fluffles · 18/08/2010 20:56

who is to say your kids will be average or need your help financially... maybe they'll be amazing and travel the world or get a high paid job or decide that owning a house and material goods are not important to them.

times are quite hard right now but they've been harder.

Morloth · 18/08/2010 20:58

I think in historical/world terms a child born in 2010 in the United Kingdom is a very lucky child indeed.

AMumInScotland · 18/08/2010 21:11

I think old age must be creeping up on me because phrases like "You don't know you're born" pop into my head from time to time.....

Seriously, the UK in 2010 is a pretty decent place/time to be born. You could have had children during the Cold War, during the "Winter of Discontent", the Cuban Missile Crisis, either of the World Wars, etc etc.

You could be living in many parts of the world where clean water, food, shelter, the very basics of life itself are in short supply.

It's normal to worry about your childrens future, but you really need to get over yourself on this one.

mintyfresh · 18/08/2010 21:13

I do agree that things are getting harder for the 'average' person in this country - obviously not on the scale of the 'average' person in a developing country as others have said.

I think it is more about peoples attitude towards each other in this country that makes me despair for my kids future!

porcamiseria · 18/08/2010 21:24

could be alot worse

Kabul, Sierra Leone , I rest my case

Original poster
superv1xen · 19/08/2010 08:17

i know it could be a whole lot worse.

i do feel bad for worrying about it when there are people in far, far worse situations, and we are far luckier than some. but everyone wants the best for their own kids dont they? :(

the thing is my kids are going to go to shitty schools because we live in a shitty area (cant afford to move away as it would mean private renting or buying both of which are completely unaffordable options right now) so really have not got that many prospects that i can see. i see what the older children and teenagers are like on my estate, and i despair at the thought of my kids being like that and/or having friends like them.

and mintyfresh that was an interesting point re people's attitudes to eachother in this country, how do you mean?

OP posts:
AlgebraRocksMySocks · 19/08/2010 08:23

there's much worse things to be worried about IMO. even without the fact that we are very lucky to live in the developed world, there's much worse things in our own country than not owning a home!

crime? global warming and pollution? shitty schools are definitely more of an issue :(

scatteredbraincells · 19/08/2010 08:29

I thought this was going to be about bringing children into a horrible world where thousands of people die daily due to perfectly preventable causes and those who could help don't really care, a world where people get tortured in the name of good, women and children get raped and try to hide it (because they might get blamed for it), teenagers get stabbed in the tube on their way back from school....

I do think about these things and worry that it is a horrible world to bring children into... but hey, someone's gotta pay for our pensions, right?

scatteredbraincells · 19/08/2010 08:36

not taking the mickey OP, I honestly see where you're coming from, it's that the title misled me.

Shitty schools are definitely a worry. Are you a single parent/ sole bread winner? Just wondering whether HE would be an option. How old are your los?

The problem with "bad" schools are not the schools themselves, children will be taught and those who want to learn will learn. I think a lot of the time parents in underpriviledged areas don't have the time/ energy (and unfortunately sometimes willingness) to encourage their children to learn. Do you think these are obstacles you could overcome?

Not blaming you for anything, I only believe that we feel better about a situation if we have some power over it. Try to see what power you have over the things you fear most about your children's future

Flighttattendant · 19/08/2010 08:45

there are always going to be people at the top of the heap as far as opportunities and luck are concerned.

Unfortunately a tory government subscribes to this being a GOOD thing rather than the alternative ideology of sharing out fairly between everyone.

So it's not likely to improve for those at the bottom any time soon.

As others have said though we need to count our blessings in this country. Take a look at what we have got.

Claw3 · 19/08/2010 08:49

I think you would be better off worrying about your children becoming happy, healthy adults who do their very best.

BreastmilkDoesAFabLatte · 19/08/2010 08:51

Money cannot buy love.

Cliched but true.

MsSparkle · 19/08/2010 08:57

"they have a secure home now as i am in HA but if dave cameron gets his way they will probably to take it off me the minute i dare earn much above minimum wage."

Surely HA is there to help and give to the poorest in country. I don't agree that they should be for life, i agree they should be there to help you out whilst you better yourself into a more secure position. I think it's an exaggeration that you would be "kicked out" if you earn above minimum wage, but i do agree with the fact that once you start earning more, you should start supporting yourself and leave the HA to the ones more worse off.

Original poster
superv1xen · 19/08/2010 08:59

that is very true breastmilk - and i love my kids more than anything and show them all the time.

i am not a single parent but i dont think we could afford for me to retrain, i have thought about training as a nurse, but i dont know how i would be able to afford childcare etc and juggle a home and looking after 2 kids. and anyway i wouldnt even earn much at that, i think its only about 20k ish to start or so. i havent really worked since having DS 4 1/2 years ago so my prospects are shocking, i dont know who would employ me. and before i had DS i was only a receptionisy anyway, minimum wage type stuff. and the skills i did have are probably way out of date now.

i probably sound quite negative but i am at a bit of a crossroads at the moment and feel like my life is amounting to nothing.

i remember getting my a level results 12 years ago (eek) and having big plans for my life and now i live on a council estate with 2 kids by two different men and no money or prospects.

OP posts:
Claw3 · 19/08/2010 09:03

What is it exactly that you want for your kids?

StuckInTheMiddleWithYou · 19/08/2010 09:03

Yes life in a developing country is much harder than life in the UK.

That doesn't mean that we cannot be concerned about the fact that life is getting harder here, that the younger generations are in many ways going to be worse off than their parents. I think that this is quite sad, horrible conditions in third world countries notwithstanding.

Heracles · 19/08/2010 09:03

"Money cannot buy love."

?Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.? - Milligan Wink

ragged · 19/08/2010 09:08

Sounds like you are at a very low point, v1xen. :(
Opportunities to improve your situation will come, honest.
DD was born 3 weeks after 9/11 and that gave me pause for thought!

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