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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Hacked hair on DD

36 replies

MALIMOO78 · 18/08/2010 12:51

My DD has returned from visitation with her hair hacked off at the back (half an inch shorter on one side and close to the scalp in places). It does look like an accident may have occurred but no attempt has been made to correct it. I have had no explanation from ex and am fuming.
What would you do?

OP posts:
bumpybecky · 18/08/2010 12:53

take photographs to document it then take her to the hairdressers to attempt to disguise it

once you've calmed down, contact the ex and ask for an explanation and send bill for hairdressers

SoupDragon · 18/08/2010 12:53

I would assume she'd cut it herself.

DD gave herself a mullet whilst I was in charge... It happens.

Original poster
MALIMOO78 · 18/08/2010 12:55

she is 2 and can't use a scissors, so not an option

OP posts:
kreecherlivesupstairs · 18/08/2010 12:56

Depending on how old she is, it does sound like self mutilation. My DD developed an interest in scissors around the age of 4. She has always had a bob and it suits her. What doesn't is when she hacked 15 cm off one side, the was remediable by taking her to the hairdresser. Less fixable was when she bunched up the front and cut it at scalp level. Look on the bright side, it will grow back.

Curiousmama · 18/08/2010 12:58

Yes she may well have done it but you'd think he/she would explain? Hmm How old is dd?

SoupDragon · 18/08/2010 12:59

Usually you discover your child can use scissors when they cut their hair off.

either she cut it herself or something got stuck in it.
I'm surprised there was no explanation but it's really nothing to be fuming about. i don't think there's any need to be taking photos to "document" it.

Original poster
MALIMOO78 · 18/08/2010 13:01

DD said her GP did it.

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 18/08/2010 13:03

GP??

scurryfunge · 18/08/2010 13:04

Grandparent? Could you ask them?

Original poster
MALIMOO78 · 18/08/2010 13:04

Her grandparent, sorry

OP posts:
Original poster
MALIMOO78 · 18/08/2010 13:07

I have no contact with them, I have emailed her father with no response as yet. But I shouldn't have to ask, should I? If it was an accident, surely a note with DD would have been reasonable? We don't speak unless absolutely necessary - my choice. All contact is through email - reasons why but not for now.

OP posts:
scurryfunge · 18/08/2010 13:11

Is it that noticeable?

You are right in that an explanation would be courteous but that may be difficult if you are not used to communicating with each other.

Original poster
MALIMOO78 · 18/08/2010 13:15

Yes, it is bad, her hair was coming lovely in a bob and now is looks like someone has used a hedge trimmer on it.

OP posts:
LucyLouLou · 18/08/2010 13:17

You do need to find out what actually happened here. Maybe I'm in the minority (or maybe not?) but I think things such as haircuts should be discussed between parents before hand, it shouldn't be a choice that only one parent makes. However, it does sound like that probably wasn't the case here. If your DD did hack at her own hair, is she capable of shirking the blame like that? She seems a bit young to be consciously lying in that way. You say you have no contact with the GPs, but are they difficult people who would be capable of hacking at your DDs hair out of spite/control etc? I think you're right about the note though, there should've been some explanation for what happened, and if it's that noticable, there's no way your DD could've been in their care and for it not to have been seen.

scurryfunge · 18/08/2010 13:17

Oh dear....it will grow back though....a lot of children do it. Maybe she got something stuck in it and the GP cut it out. I think you deserve an explanation.

FranSanDisco · 18/08/2010 13:25

I agree with LucyLouLou.

Original poster
MALIMOO78 · 18/08/2010 13:26

GPs have lied to me in the past, I don't really want to deal with liars, and I can't believe anything they say anyway. Would rather them not be in her life but not a possibility

OP posts:
LackingInspiration · 18/08/2010 13:27

Are you sure she couldn't have done it? Can she really not use scissors at age 2?

Original poster
MALIMOO78 · 18/08/2010 13:28

I think hair cuts should be the responsibility of the resident parent unless the non resident used to do it before splitting. Unless they check first, but legally he could give her a skin head and there isn't anything I could do.

OP posts:
Original poster
MALIMOO78 · 18/08/2010 13:30

Even if she could use scissors effectively, it is at the back of her head, she would not have been able to reach. She is terrified of haircuts so not likely.

OP posts:
CheeseandGherkins · 18/08/2010 13:33

Why would a 2 year old be unsupervised with scissors even if she could use them to do it herself?

CheeseandGherkins · 18/08/2010 13:33

Oh and I think you're right to be annoyed.

Original poster
MALIMOO78 · 18/08/2010 13:34

Indeed, CheeseandGerkins! Good point if they do say she did it!

OP posts:
FranSanDisco · 18/08/2010 13:36

Do you think they attempted a trim and dd squirmed so much that was the result? They should have given an explanation.

Original poster
MALIMOO78 · 18/08/2010 13:39

Well, if they did, it is the worst haircut I have EVER seen. It is appalling and if I find out it was a hairdresser, I am suing!

OP posts:
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