To tell DD to go and be ill in her bedroom?

[DogDays]

DD has a sore throat. Most people would just suck a throat sweet but no, she's practically dying with it, insisted I make her an apointment for doctors and insisted it was at least a throat infection, more likely tonsilitis well, doctor thought it was that bad that he didn't even give her anything for it, just told her to suck lozengers so it can't be that bad!
Anyway, since yesterday she has been lying on the sofa, all day everyday wrapped in a dressing gown acting as if she is on her last legs. Its starting to wear a bit thin now, I have loads to do and I'm tempted to tell her to go up to bed if she's that ill. Or is that mean?

I really can't be doing with people exagurating illnesses around me. Its only a sore throat ffs, I don't see the need to take up an entire sofa for two days straight over it.

She's 14 btw

She is 14, what harm is it doing her lounging on the sofa for a couple of days? Why can't you do what you need to do with her on the sofa?

Sore throats can be really nasty. Unless she normally takes the piss.. might be worth throwing a bit of sympathy her way.. You know she isnt doing it to get out of school anyway!

Because she's annoying me acting up over a sore throat.

Let her lie on the sofa..can't see a problem really

I don't think it's unreasonable to tell her to go to bed and rest. I'd give her lots of water to take up with her and make her cups of tea and give her ice cream and let her watch the telly and generally be nice to her, because sore throats are horrible.

It might be tonsilitis you know, maybe the ulcer-ey bit hadn't arrived when she saw the Doc.

Sounds like a bit of man flu, which I'm sure teenage girls can get!

Her throat might be very sore however - they can really hurt. Has she had any Nurofen or anything? I find Nurofen (being an anti-inflammatory) is very good for a sore throat, it takes the edge right off it. It might make her feel a bit better if she's just had a lozenge. Lozenge are all very well for a tickly kind but that really sore tonsilitisy tender back of nose feeling, nothing beats Nurofen.

Washed down with a smooth velvety glass of red wine. If you are not 14 of course.

You better have the wine for her. Sympathy and all that.

She does normally take the piss, constant hypocondriac. The ammount of stuff she reckons is wrong with her - she should have her own permanant hospital bed. It gets a bit much to be honest when the rest of the family are having to trudge to work with stomach ulcers and arthritis etc

Have you checked her throat again? Throat infections can get worse quickly. Check it again to see if there's any yellow/white bits. She's your daughter surely you can be a bit sympathetic?

If she is taking the piss perhaps there's a reason for this? Perhaps she just wants some attention or some one on one time with you. You sound quite harsh tbh.

You don't sound as if you like her very much!

I understand that teenagers can be a right pain in the arse trying - I have one myself, but when they're poorly, you look after them, as I would look after anyone in my family who wasn't feeling well.

By the way, if she's very ill, she should be able to lounge around in bed. My mother said that was the true test of whether someone was really ill or not - if you dont need much in terms of entertainment.

I tend to agree - I was recovering from a tummy bug the other week and I didn't switch the laptop or TV on till 5pm, just lay there groaning and heaving my aching body to the bathroom as and when.

Depends. If she's just on the sofa being a misery, you are being harsh, but if she's subjecting you to Nickelodeon or some such bollix on a loop then YANBU.

She's ill, be nice.

She's not harming you lounging on the sofa, what can't you that you could otherwise?

I actually like it when dd is ill, she wants cuddles and nursing.
I get in trouble for fussing, usually.

Drama queen. But reassuring that she is acting in such an age-appropriate manner!

Off to her room. And if she is bored I am sure you can find her some nice hoovering to do.

I get into trouble for fussing too..I hate it when any of mine are ill ..I'm always offering painkillers and food etc ..They tend to say they feel ok just to shut me up

Hmm. Maybe since she has been having her feelings invalidated for years and years, she has developed a strategy of exaggeration simply to be heard when she is feeling needy.

How about...and I know this might sound radical...giving her a cuddle, a hot water bottle, some pillows, a blanket, a foot rub, a special meal, a nice cup of tea, a magazine she likes, a DVD, etc.

Just a thought.

I used to do this a bit as a child - exagerate illness. It was because I was craving attention from my parents and saw it as a way to get it. Have you talked to her about this?

I hate sore throats more than almost any other symptom. No wonder she is miserable!

Lemsip is usually my painkiller of choice

Maybe she just feels in need of a little TLC, whats the harm in giving her it? She's a child.

FWiw just because the doctor didnt give her anything doesnt mean its not an infection : 2 of the docs at my surgery now dont give antibiotics for throat infections (a whole other thread for me but anyways...)

i had a sore throat that was so bad i needed to lie down,it attacked me when i was visiting SIL,i spent the few days we were there lying on the couch,not eating,just drinking water,blood and other things i won't mention were coming out when i coughed,the last day it got better so we wnt to visit FIL,,

when we got there,it came again,this time it was worse,i would pass out sometimes but bcoz it was a sore throat,i wasn't taken seriouly coz no one knew how much it hurt except DH who knows i can never sit still for 5minutes,,FIL being a doctor just gave me some tablets that didn't help and told me i didn't nedd to go to the hospital bcoz if it was serious he would have know(mad me sad)

so i think you should do what slouching suggests,lots of love coz she might be really sick,,14yr old don't sit or lie in a couch for the fun of it,the world is more interesting to them,,at least the ones i know

Poor girl she's 14, she's just a kid! Give her a cuddle for crying out loud she probably feels really crappy.

nedd??lol,,i meant need,,and he should have known not know...

Your poor DD! Having suffered for years and years with tonsillitis and eventually having my tonsils out at 23 after a bout of tonsillitis which resulted in quinsy, she has my full sympathy.

The doctor may have not prescribed her anything other than rest and lozenges as her infection may well be viral and, therefore, anti-biotics will have no effect. Her wanting to be on the sofa, may simply be that she wants company and sympathy - who doesn't when they're ill?!

I like slouchingtowardswaitrose's suggestion. Give her a little attention and love, it won't kill you!

Yup, she's a child as people have already said. Give her paracetemol and nurofen and a little sympathy.

Doctors often don't give anything for tonsilitis as it is frequently viral and they are trying to limit unnecessary antibiotic use. I had tonsilitis as a teen an it's horrible. They don't wip out tonsils much nowadays either.

Yes the adults are getting on with life in spite of their pain, with painkillers. Teenagers are dramatic, but that doesn't mean she doesn't feel awful.

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what Bunnyjo said