to buy toys for my dd at least once a month???

[ukrainianmum]

my second dh, who is not the father to my dd thinks it is too often to buy toys for a girl at least once a month. I say it is normal to do it, coz in any way kids need toys; but my dh says it will lead to the point, zhere she will be spoiled...
so how often will be normal???

Well, the last posts made more clear for me.
and i probably didn explained it well. by toys I meants evrything that child needs- from tpys to craftthings... but still my dh thinks that even those craftthings- is a spoil..or like other day I go her garden set, not real, but nor really a toy. he was saying- again, u spoil her...
anyway, thanks to all of you for shared thoughts and experiences!! i will do my best to find the right balance.

YANBU at all DH and I buy DD toys or books at least once a month. Big purchases (in excess of £50 ) would be reserved for Xmas or Birthdays but I don't think it harms to indulge her occasionally.

When I first moved to the UK I had not many things for DD with me and I was working fulltime. I bought loads of stuff all the time. I used to love going to ELC etc. Guilt buying as well as star struck by the beautiful shops.

Now, with a dd and ds and another one the way, I am up to the ears in crap and am just getting rid left, right and centre. The only kinds I buy now are things that I know will get used and finished. Craft set types...

It's the balance. Don't get blown away and you'll be fine.

No, NU IMHO.

I buy things for DD all the time: we shop once or twice a week and will get something almost every time. To be fair, it is as likely to be a new toothbrush or pva glue, or crayons as a toy. Any toys or books or puzzles are from charity shops or markets because of our budget.
She saves up (by doing jobs outside normal chores) for new toys or waits for birthday/christmas. She's very indulged and has lots of nice things but is by no means spoilt.

Plenty of people use chocolate or sweets to reward good behaviour or as treats, as long as you're not buying huge presents every five minutes I don't see that using small gifts instead is a bad thing. You know your own child, any signs of Verruca Salt-ish behaviour should be a signal to stop.

Id be telling your DH where to go, he sounds spoiled to me, he wants to hoard the cash, or spend it on something he deems worthy. Shes a lovely little girl by the sounds of things and why wouldnt you want to buy her toys. I agree wth pag too, how many adults wait for christmas for thing for themselves - i dont know a single one!

If you don't mind tidying the items up daily and wondering where the money goes, then fine.
If I bought small toys for DC on a regular basis they would NAG me to buy them something everytime we went into a shop. Or passed by a Jumble sale, or went to Soft-Play (they have those lousy 2 quid toys-in-an-egg there), or got milk at the corner shop (Kinder Eggs), or visited a theme park or anywhere outside the house really!! I can't leave DC at home for every shopping trip or possible outing, so I can't do ad hoc purchases at all. It's only birthdays/Xmas and pocket money for DC, if they want toys / crafts / special clothes.

I think it depends on a)your starting point and b)your outlook on life. If your DD wasn't inundated on previous birthdays with cuddly toys and building blocks/books etc like many (UK?) children, then obviously a few toys and craft things every now and then are not going to be spoiling her. Doing it regularly every month I think is making a rod for your own back, and she may come to expect it, and that's when it will become problematic.

I genuinely don't buy my children toys although I did recently re-stock their colouring pencils box. They get loads of presents at Christmas and birthdays from friends and relatives, and we use the library for books now we've got a good bookshelf or two full of books. It may sound harsh but they have so many things without our having bought them anything, and they love reading, drawing and making up imaginative games using anything and everything (in fact it often drives me mad that frequently they play with real bowls and spoons, or my hairdryer bits/CD cases/empty boxes as phones/shop tills/skates or whatever has taken their fancy at that moment in time).

Partly I am overwhelmed by how many toys my nephews and nieces have, and have made a conscious decision not to emulate that in my household. Partly I want them to learn to play imaginatively (which they do). Partly our house isn't massive, and I don't want to be overrun by their things. Lots of other reasons too, but those are probably the main ones.

As I said, I do think it's managing expectations with your DD that's important, and ensuring that she learns the value of things...