to put my 5 year old on a diet ???

[mummyloveslucy]

Hi, my five and a half year old daughter has always been very tall. She's now in age 8 clothes in order to get enough growing room. She's always been right on the edge of being a healthy weight for her height so we've never really worried about what she eats. She does eat a lot. Her diet is fairly limmited but fairly healthy, just high in fat. She likes rice cakes with penut butter. My husband says she'll eat 6 of these for lunch. (I wouldn't let her eat that many, I'd offer an alternative after 2). My husband tends to just give her whatever she asks for though. She also likes cheese, toast, bread sticks and homous, baked beens etc. I've recently been giving her Rocs organic squash as I've heared that artificial sweetner is bad for them. She won't drink water and dosn't like her fruit juce diluted. Recently though, she's put on quite a bit more weight. She is now overweight for her height.
I'm wondering wether it's the change of drink that's done it or a combination of everything. She does have ice creams, popcorn, sweets or some form of a treat every day, sometimes several times a day if she's being looked after by my MIL.
I've talked to my husband about our daughters weight gain and he thinks it'd be cruel to put her on a diet saying "She loves her food", and "She's not that overweight". I know that everyone has to be supportive, because if they keep feeding her what ever her heart desires when I'm at work, then it'll become a real battle. I'm not going to let her go hungry, she'll just eat more fruit and vedge and I'll swap her white bread to granary, because she dosn't mind it, and change her drinks to sugar free. She will be a lot more healthy for the change, but some how I do feel a bit guilty for doing it. It somehow seems wrong to put a young child on a diet. She can still have the odd ice cream etc, but it'll be once a week instead of every day.
I think I'm doing the right thing as she dosn't want to walk as far as she used to, she was always such a good walker but now she says her knees hurt. (I'm not sure if this is true or not)
If anyone has some tips, I'd be greatful or ways of helping my family to understand why I'm doing this and to back me up.

You are not putting her on a diet you are just making her current diet healthier. Is she overweight medically?

Firstly, what you've said is not a diet, it's more changes in her lifestyle. Secondly, if you are genuinely worried about your DD's weight, I would take her along to the doctor so he/she can have a little look at her. You can't make major changes without asking a professional IMO.

I would say you're probably in the right here though, you can't feed a child absolutely everything they want, not only is it unhealthy for them in the physical sense, but they should learn control of their diet and furthermore, that life isn't about getting what they want when they want it.

Good luck :).

Sounds a difficult situation because you have dh and MIL who feed her differently than you do, and who don't seem to think her current weight/diet are an issue.

How physically active is your dd?

Are dh and/or your MIL overweight?

I would look up the granary thing - I'm not sure it is healthier for children to be on a high fibre diet. Children certainly shouldn't be on a low fat diet. I would cut out the sweets, replace the icecream with frozen yoghurt, and not worry too much about the rest. She can't be hugely overweight if she has only just become overweight.

Don't put her on a diet - I'd suggest limiting treats to once a week rather than once a day and maybe going cold turkey on sugary drinks - she will drink water if she doesn't have a choice of anything else.

Is she very active? Is her weight in proportion to her height?

Don't swap her bread to granary - children don't need a high fibre diet as it fills them up too much not leaving them space for other foods thereby limiting the intake of other food types which include vital vits and minerals.

As long as she has a healthy approach to food and understands making sensible food choices I wouldn't worry too much - you aren't denying her.

Now I've read my post back, it sounds so obvious that it's the right thing to do. I don't know why it feels like I'm being so mean?
I think it's the thought of other children having ice creams etc and saying to Lucy "no, you can't have one", even if she's been good. We tend to use food as a treat if she's been good because nothing works better.
We might have to think of alternative treats like stickers.

Change her diet by all means- but don't tell her she's fat and that she needs to eat less. A five year old doesn't need to worry about being their weight.

Talk about 'healthy' food and tell her she's beautiful. Constantly. Which I'm sure she is

I think that you all need to follow the same diet and cut out a lot of the fat. Simply don't have a lot of it in the house.If she knows that it isn't available for any of you then she will get used to it. Don't have 'good' food and 'bad' food, but simply make sure that you buy for more of the healthy options. Try and get MIL on your side.

If you make your own icecream you can do it with frozen fruit and yoghurt-make ice lollies. I wouldn't make a ban-just look for the healthiest option.

Thanks everyone, that's interesting about granary bread.
She is now medically overweight. She dosn't have a pot belly or a double chin, but she has quite chunky little legs and bottom. She looks like a very big toddler IYKWIM. She looks soft and has a baby face. She has been mistaken for a huge 3 year old before now.
I don't really want to take her to the doctors because I don't want her to know that she's overweight. I think it'd upset her and we are trying to raise her confidence at the moment.

I like the idea about frozen yogart by the way.

I would never dream of telling her she's fat or even overweight! I know some people do, but I don't want her to end up obsessed with body image. I don't talk about diets in front of her, we just talk about what's healthy and what will make her big and strong, run fast etc.

I am a healthy weight for my height, my husband is a bit overweight and my MIL is moderatly overweight although she eats healthy food.
Your right tethersend, Lucy is beautiful and I do tell her every day.

What sort of physical activity does she do, and how regularly?

She's not overly active really. She's not one of these children that's always on the go. She'll happily sit and draw or play for quite some time. She does come for long walks with me and my DH.
At school she does P.E, tennis, dance and swimming so she's probubly more active at school. She dosn't have any after school activities as she's always so tired after being there all day.

She has a scooter but can't ride a bike as her co-ordination isn't that good. I'm thinking of getting her a trampoleen for her birthday. (She wants a drum kit)

What about trips to the park - children benefit from short bursts of physical play.

Try and fit in a 15 minute bike ride/walk/scooter ride a day then it'll reinforce an active lifestyle.

I suggest you buy a book that is produced by Weight Watchers but aimed at family meals and how to have a healthy weight household.

This

It debunks various myths (like the granary bread one - granary or wholemeal bread is fine for a 5 year old) and has loads of recipes and tips and snack ideas and talks a lot about the psychology behind eating from a child's perspective (things like if they can "see" chocolate or sweets they will ask for them but if they see a fruit bowl they might ask for that instead if it becomes the norm) and its very good.

It also has the weight charts and explains BMI, centiles, and other ways of determining what the right weight for your child should be.

Take her off that Rocks stuff. Yes, its organic, but its flaming syrup. Either put her back on the artificial sweetener kind on the basis that it didn't seem to send her loopy or give her actual problems before, or simply stop buying squash and provide water which she will drink if she is thirsty. Or "limit" her sugar free squash - to mealtimes only or something if you are worried about the amount of sweetener.

There is nothing in the Rocks stuff that she needs. There is no tangible nutritional benefit.

There is plenty of benefit of a child like yours having granary bread. It is higher in nutrients and it fills you up for longer, giving slower release energy. To generalise and say "children dont need a high fibre diet" is like generalising about all women or all men. Some children will benefit from slower carbs, in particular those who are hard to fill up but seem to store there excess energy. If she likes it and feels fuller from it, do it.

I think you are right to change to granary bread, as she is 5, she should be eating a more higher fibre foods (diff to high fibre diet). These changes you are making should apply to all the family btw- as part of healthy life style.

Also key is tha amount of physical activity she (and rest of family) do, how much screen time does she have a day?

Food standards agency ideas here

Lunchbox ideas. These are for children aged 5-8. You will note that they suggest Wholemeal bread

here

my DD was not a big fan of water until i bought a selection of sports bottle type drinks.. she's got a peppa pig one, hello kitty and another one. she will drink water out of those. she also favours water over juice if i give her ice cubes and /or a couple of straws. DS is the same.

I also encourage milk drinking using chocolate powder, not diet foot, but a glass of skim milk is filling and makes them less likely to ask for snacks.

i also leave a bowl of fruit out which they can help themslves to buyt other foods are more limited

they are both v v active and quite lean though, but you have to instill healthy eating anyway.

as a family, we eat meals from scratch most of the time , not too many packets/jars at all..

also keep an eye on portion size, i used to give the DCs same as me and DH, which meant a lot of waste. i give much smaller amounts now and they can have a bit more if they want.

mummyloveslucy,
I was in similar postion to you when my son was five. My son is no longer overweight at 8 years old. It has taken 3 years of hard work from ALL the family.

Putting a five year old on a diet is pointless and unfair. You all need to change your diet as a family. I also think a big problem is portion control. A portion of veg, or meat or carboyhdrate should be about the child's hand size. It is also worth serving food up on smaller plates so it looks like more food. Choose snacks carefully and make sure your child does not eat out of boredom.

The key to wieght loss is plenty of exercise. Walk whenever you can. From what I remember your daugher is dyspraxic. You need to be careful about what exercise activities you pick for her so that she can feel a sense of sucess. Ie. non competitive sports like a family swim or going for a jog as family. It is also important to limit the amount of time in front of the TV or computer.

Many five year olds do slim out if they do a good amount of excercise.

Thanks, I've just ordered that book.

I'll look for a sugar free squash without aspartaine in it. I believe Sainsbury's has one, and it'll be a lot cheeper than Rocs.

The high fiber might actually be good for her as she suffers from constipation. She's on movicol every other day. I'd like to control this through diet rather than relying on the movicol.

They also suggest low fat yogurts.

A lot of these ideas about not giving high fibre foods like brown rice and wholemeal bread, and low fat products, are aimed at under 2's. People dont realise this and think they are for all children up to teenagers, even.

My son has semi-skimmed milk - he's not the kind of child that needs extra unnecessary butterfat in his diet, which is what whole milk has that semi doesn't.

He also has low fat yogurts. He is 3. They are not full of sugar - in fact he has the plain greek and I add fruit.

If you have a "skinny" or underweight child, by all means they should have these things - you want energy dense foods in them. But if your child is prone to being chunky, they are not going to shrivel up if they are not having butterfat, syrup, or if they feel a little extra full from some fibre from their bread.

Thanks everyone. I know she does eat out of habbit too. She likes pop corn when she watches as DVD. This started as a treat and we made it in to a cinima afternoon, but this has now stuck and she wants it with every film. If I'm completely honest, yes she does watch more T.V than I'd like, and I know it's not good.
I am looking at ways of changing this and recently, she's only been having the bedtime hour all day. I've moved her bath time, so that she only gets 1/2 an hour of the bedtime hour too.
We live out in the sticks a bit and there is only one park within walking distance and it's up a huge hill. She'd quite happily go there every day, so I think it's me being lazy. I am going to put in a lot more effort to get us in to a healthier lifestyle. It'll do us all good.

My ds 4 always eats granary as that's his perference. But he doesn't eat much bread.

Make your little one feel confident about herself and introduce your changes gradually.

Could it be exercise? DS eats almost nothing and he loves only fruit so his diet is quiet hhealthy but he's by no way skinny. And he's very active.

We went to Italy for two weeks to stay with ils - he only ate pasta and pizza and not all that much for the entire two weeks and only three cherry tomatoes and 3 grapes the entire two weeks. He also did very little and was out in the evenings and even then not doing much - he's come home very heavy but I've got him back to his old active self and he seems to be getting back to normal and also his diet is back to normal. Normal is not perfect but at least has lots of fruit and some veg.

Any way of upping her activity at the weekends?