Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to steal a cat?

52 replies

OnlyWantsOne · 15/08/2010 10:50

My mum's birthday party last night, about 60 people there, house full, band, fireworks, etc etc

My nmother and I get on quite well, however she comes out with some cracking nasty comments, which, in time I have learnt to just ignore because there is no point.. any way, my DH and I have recently moved house, and we had 4 chickens, which we were going to rehome to MIL - as she already has some, but my mum put up such a fuss that she'd like to have them untill we got settled and were able to move the hens too in a few weeks time when we get our garden fenced etc.

So, mum had them... 2 weeks ago on the understanding that she'd look after them. She was pretty adament with DH and I that she was having them.

My mum has a dog. Last night I went to lock my hens away before the fire works to make sure they were safe in their house... and there was only 2... cue me asking mum where the other two were, and when she'd last seen them, i.e. the night before when she'd apprently locked them all away... she laughed at me and said ask your brother, so I asked him, he laughed and said ask the dog.

My mum hasnt been locking them away, they've not been roosting in their house, she's let them free range in the garden, so the dog ate 2 of my lovely hens, DD will be distraught - she's 3.

So... I burst into tears (im nearly 6 months PG)

my dad told me to leave it, as they were only chickens... neither of my parents then spoke to me for rest of night and didnt say good bye when we were saying good byes to everyone else at 11pm

when we left the party, I took my cat that was mine as a child... bought her home to my house, she slept on my bed and hasnt stopped purring, she's loving it :)

but I do feel a bt guilty, so was I being unreasonable to liberate the cat?

Shes 10 years old, was mine when I lived at home - my mum doesnt worm / de flea her, I take her for a her injections....

OP posts:
Original poster
OnlyWantsOne · 15/08/2010 10:52

can I just add, what upsets me more, is that my mum made the fuss to have the hens, and then has been lying to me, and then when I go to her, viasble upset, she laughed in my face and told everyone around her how pathetic I was about it, and apparently obviously couldnt cope with my hormones.

OP posts:
fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 15/08/2010 10:53

Your mum was BU, but so are you, and a bit childish I think..sorry.

Hassled · 15/08/2010 10:53

You can't steal something that is yours, as far as I know. Your Mum sounds like a nutter.

belledechocolatefluffybunny · 15/08/2010 10:53

Sad So sorry about your hens.

It's technically your cat, you can't steal what's already yours.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 15/08/2010 10:53

(although I do understand as my mum can also laugh at me when upset)

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 15/08/2010 10:54

oh I thought you had taken the cat without telling your mum, to make your mum worry? Sorry if I have wrong end of stick.

belledechocolatefluffybunny · 15/08/2010 10:54

God, your mum's about as sensitive as a sledge hammer Sad

edam · 15/08/2010 10:55

what a horrible way for your Mum to behave. Bizarre after making such a fuss about having the hens.

Don't blame you re. the cat but watch out, she may go back to your Mum's house given how territorial cats are.

gingernutlover · 15/08/2010 10:55

your mum sounds like she acted horribly. Why insist on looking after someones chickens, then let your dog eat 2, then laugh in the person's face??????????? The mind boggles.

not sure why you have taken the cat? Are you planning on telling her?

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 15/08/2010 10:55

So..if taking cat for a cuddle to comfort you after your mum being horrid, definitely YANBU...if taking it to "get back at your mum"...YABU...

SecretNutellaFix · 15/08/2010 10:56

I'm sorry, I would be furious at my mother if she had done that!

She sounds totally irresponsible and uncaring.

gingernutlover · 15/08/2010 10:56

oh, does she know you have the cat?

sounds like you will treat the cat better than she does and therefore it may be happier with you. Why was it living with your mum when it is your cat?

Threelittleducks · 15/08/2010 10:57

YANBU

I would have taken the cat too.

mummytime · 15/08/2010 11:01

YANBU

Have you taken the chickens too?

Original poster
OnlyWantsOne · 15/08/2010 11:01

Ive taken the cat, Tiger, because she's always hungry, not fed regularly, she goes next door to be fed instead. Not wormed, de flead, when my parents go away on holiday my 90yr old grandmother has to look after the cat everyday, which isnt really fair. I will tell my mum I have her, if she asks... Last night the reason I decided to take her was she was outside trying to open the box of cat food, as was hungry, and the fire works were about to start. Mum made no provision to make sure any of her animals were ok during the fire works.

Shes irresponcible and uncaring.

OP posts:
Original poster
OnlyWantsOne · 15/08/2010 11:02

DP is going to liberate the other chickens from certain death later and take them to his mums, which is a walled cottage garden with 4 already happy free ranging hens that dont seem to get eaten of a rate of 1 a week....

OP posts:
fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 15/08/2010 11:03

well, that is fair enough I suppose, I read it wrongly.

Forgive me for saying though, you sound (understandably) sensitive at the moment, maybe AIBU wasn't the right place for this as people can be harsh here?

Also I think you feel you are NBU anyway?

I know it's hard when family members are like this, both my mum and Auntie laugh at me if I am upset.

gingernutlover · 15/08/2010 11:08

poor cat :-( I'm sure she will be much happier with you. Some poepl just treat animals as possesions dont they!

We are looking after a dog at the moment, one of my brother's and I dont believe she is ever walked plus when he dropped her off he let me in on the fact that she is registered at a vet or microchipped or vaccinated, plus hasnt been spayed (she is 2). I was very very tempted to take her to my vet and get all of this done while he is away but I think he would go mad.

gingernutlover · 15/08/2010 11:08

isnt registered at a vet!

nattiecake · 15/08/2010 11:10

What a nasty horrible lady :(

Your poor chickens :(

Original poster
OnlyWantsOne · 15/08/2010 11:10

Part of me does think Im being Unreasonable, the cat was settled at my mums... and my mum has looked after her, obviously, as the cats not dead or any thing, but my mum just doesnt care, about any thing really other than her friends / business. My brothers and sisters and I were completely ignored last night.

One of the only things she said was, oh for godsake, your pregnant not ill when I told her I didnt want to hand canapes out all night.

OP posts:
claw3 · 15/08/2010 11:11

Why didnt you take your chickens back? that would have made more sense, seen as the dog has already killed 2.

Lauriefairycake · 15/08/2010 11:11

Not unreasonable to take the cat - what's important is that the cat has a good home

Your mother sounds awful - get the chooks back as quickly as possible

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 15/08/2010 11:12

oh well, you are definitely NOT BU if you have the cat's welfare at heart!!

Hope you have someone else supportive in your life..I can't rely on my mum for much support so have to get it elsewhere.

Original poster
OnlyWantsOne · 15/08/2010 11:12

oh, and fat cat as DD is calling her is now asleep on a cusion on my chest of drawers in the office... very relaxed!!

How come when we moved here 2 weeks ago it took our other cat 4 days to come out of the spare room and then she acted like some possessed beast..., but this cat is already acting like queen bitch and lording it up :)

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread