Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Thinking that dp is crazy or stupid?

111 replies

hotCheeseBURNS · 14/08/2010 22:25

He doesn't "believe" in evolution.

He's not well educated, having left school before doing his GCSEs, and he doesn't read. But still... I thought that it was only a few mental fundamentalist religious types who believed in creationism? Am I wrong?

I've always thought it was just ignorance (of science in general) on his part but he's disturbingly closed off to the whole concept...

OP posts:
QueenofDreams · 14/08/2010 23:23

Your post IS contemptuous of anyone with a different viewpoint to yours actually.

I got raised by EXTREMELY OTT fundamentalist evangelical Christians. I have trouble accepting evolution as fact. Just as I feel constant guilt about my life choices. My rational mind makes one conclusion, but my 'programming' pulls in the religious direction. Not saying this is the case with your DH, but frankly it's not a fun situation to be in. I am neither stupid nor crazy.

scottishmummy · 14/08/2010 23:23

well like many couples you look for your commonality and acknowledge differences but dont make it a deal breaker.

paisleyleaf · 14/08/2010 23:25

It's not just the title. 'mental' ignorant' 'disturbing' are all quite strongly intolerant words to use.

Original poster
hotCheeseBURNS · 14/08/2010 23:27

Paisleyleaf "The thing is, there are many people who believe god created us."

I was raised in a Christian, church-going household where we believed that god created us via evolution. I thought this was the popular, common Christian view?

OP posts:
Katey1010 · 14/08/2010 23:27

A theory in science is not the same as what we refer to as a theory in everyday speech. We use theory to mean something not proven, a hypothesis. That is not what it is in scientific terms. A theory (like the theory of relativity) is a system to explain and order things. It is testable and ONE piece of evidence against can disprove. That evolution has lasted means that it is a robust theory. in other words, it has stood the test of time and scrutiny.

The alternate ideas put forward (ceationism, intelligent design) are NOT robust and can be easily disproved.

mumeeee · 14/08/2010 23:28

He is not stupid. There has been several flaws found in the evolution theory. A world that was created seems much more likely than things just evolving

paisleyleaf · 14/08/2010 23:28

Popular, but obviously not the only.

scottishmummy · 14/08/2010 23:28

hbc,you are back peddling more than boris on bike.ah so you weren't being contemptuous just an amusing wee frisson to draw us in

hokey cokey

ps.what do you and dp argue about then

Katey1010 · 14/08/2010 23:30

"A world that was created seems much more likely than things just evolving". As Dawkins would say, you did it yourself in 9 months. Single cell to human is easy. I'm doing it right now (26 weeks pregnant).

tribpot · 14/08/2010 23:34

mumeee, what's "just" evolving? To me a world that was created seems much more unlikely (and not backed up by evidence). Although I agree that to my knowledge evolution is a theory.

Original poster
hotCheeseBURNS · 14/08/2010 23:36

I came here to discuss evolution and creationism and I feel pretty disappointed to see that all a lot of you want to do is criticise my use of words and my relationship. It's easy to start having a go at me for using mildy inflamatory language but is it useful? I don't use the word "ignorant" as an insult, and when I say "disturbing" I mean it! From a personal point of view.

Thanks again to those who have added something useful.

OP posts:
paisleyleaf · 14/08/2010 23:41

Ah, I must have misunderstood then.
I'd've thought your discussions with your DP would give you plenty of evolution vs creationism food for thought, and that you were posting to rant about your DP's ignorance.

Purplehats · 14/08/2010 23:42

Evolution is not a fact, it is a social construction! Even a basic understanding of scientific philosophy would make that quite clear. Evolution makes a lot of sense and convinces me but how arrogant would we have to be to not consider even the possibility that other explanations could fit just as well too? Perhaps we're all close-minded at times. Perhaps it's close-minded to get at all worried about his having a different opinion about this issue. Do you see close-mindedness about him in ways which might affect you as a couple/ parents? Is this really what's bothering you?

scottishmummy · 14/08/2010 23:42

rattle out pram moment?you composed the post.posters reacted.so you dont like responses,well you wrote the post and emphasis was your dp id a bit fick (in your opinion)

had you wanted a straight evolution you could have omitted the nippy bits about dp and mental fundamentalist religious types

Minxie1977 · 14/08/2010 23:42

I have a very anti-religion friend that said 'If I started saying I hear voices, I'd be locked up so why is it Ok for people to say they hear the voice of God?' Not useful but I agree with her - it just strikes me as odd to belive in this stuff. Bit like believing that world is flat and left-handed people are witches! If my Dh thought these things I'd think he was going crazy!!

ravenAK · 14/08/2010 23:43

I do see where you're coming from.

Dh is a Buddhist. I'm a solidly convinced atheist, & to me, the chanting etc is roughly akin to him solemnly going off to feed invisible sugar lumps to his invisible pet unicorn.

Over the years I've trained myself to acknowledge that actually, the only real 'problem' with dh's faith is that it gives me the heebie-jeebies - it undermines my confidence in his intelligence, or his rationalism, or something, & it generally makes me deeply uncomfortable.

We've just ended up ring-fencing it as 'not for discussion' - when we have tried to talk about our respective views, I can't seem to help myself from mounting a Dawkins-esque verbal attack on his beliefs, which upsets him.

No advice really, but I do sympathise...

I

SpringHeeledJack · 14/08/2010 23:47

"had you wanted a straight evolution you could have omitted the nippy bits about dp and mental fundamentalist religious types"

absolutely scottishmummy but none of us would have bothered clicking on that now would we

Grin
scottishmummy · 14/08/2010 23:51

aye,fair point.we all clicked to see how fick she thought dp was

TheCoalitionNeedsYou · 14/08/2010 23:51

How likely something seems is not very relevant. How likely something is might be.
Evolution is a verifiable process that we see all the time. That is where MRSA comes from.

TheCoalitionNeedsYou · 14/08/2010 23:54

Evolution is a theory in the same way that 'the sun will rise tomorrow' is a theory.

Original poster
hotCheeseBURNS · 15/08/2010 00:08

Purplehats - thank you for that. You've hit the nail on the head in some respect. I've always been quite an opinionated person and because of that I am very keen to open my mind and look at things from various points of view to ensure that when I open my mouth I know what I'm talking about and can debate intelligently. It can be bloody hard though when I hear or read something that goes against what I strongly believe in! So tonight, instead of just telling dp that he is ridiculous, I decided to do some research and thinking.

I would describe myself as an athiest and a scientist. I'm an engineer currently studying part time for my second degree. I have been well educated compared to my dp, although I remain ignorant in many many issues. I'm only here to test my previously unquestioning belief in evolution.

Dp's close-mindedness makes me nervous so I'm looking for it in myself and trying to challenge it where I find it. It's a work in progress.

OP posts:
Original poster
hotCheeseBURNS · 15/08/2010 00:10

When I say unquestioning what I mean is that I looked at it and it made sense. Everybody else believed in it (or so I thought). There was no other argument that I heard back then.

OP posts:
Original poster
hotCheeseBURNS · 15/08/2010 00:11

I'm going to bed now and will check back tomorrow. Sorry for slight tipsy-ness.

OP posts:
msboogie · 15/08/2010 00:17

anyone who doesn't "believe" in evolution is either a moron or a religious nutter. Just like anyone who doesn't "believe" in gravity or the earth going round the sun.

And that's a fact.

so the OP's language about her husband is quite tolerant, given the circumstances.

scottishmummy · 15/08/2010 00:21

LOL given the circumstances?what that they shacked up together despite obvious ideological difference.gosh maybe she will come back tell us how she copes