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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to consider leaving DD1 home alone?

56 replies

macdoodle · 14/08/2010 16:18

She is almost 9, very sensible and grown up. My childcare for tuesday has fallen through last minute. I have asked everyone I can think off with no luck.

Options are, she comes to work with me - I work from 8:30am to 6pm. She would have to stay in the common room, with her DS/ipod/writing/books, I will be downstairs if she needs me, we may be able to pop out for a quick lunch. It is pretty boring and she isnt mad on the idea.

Option 2 is my childminder who will already be having DD2 (who is only 2 and half), she has no other older children and DD1 will be very bored Grin, oh and obviously I'll have to pay her.

DD1 has asked why she cant stay home alone, I have previously left her for short periods (the odd hour here or there). We live in a very safe close, in a rural/suburban area, she knows all the neighbours but our 2 closest friends wont be there because I have already asked them. I work less than 5 minutes away, but wouldnt be able to leave at the drop of a hat.

A compromise is I take her to work with me in the morning, bring her home at lunchtime, give her lunch and leave her from about 2 till I get home at 6pm??

Am not sure about this, though she is a very sensible grown up girl, thoughts??

OP posts:
belgo · 14/08/2010 16:21

I'd probably just take her to work with you for the day.

TanteRose · 14/08/2010 16:21

so she's 8....hmm....I think its a bit long to leave her on her own.

And I leave/have left my kids at home by themselves since about that age (we don't live in the UK and its fairly normal) but never for that long...

I would leave her with the CM and her little sister - she can take her DS/books etc.

mumtoabeautifulbabyboy · 14/08/2010 16:23

As this is the first time you are leaving her for any length of time I would go with the second option rather than the whole day.
I imagine most people are uneasy the first time they leave their child alone. Only you know your child though.

gorionine · 14/08/2010 16:23

HOw will she get more bored in company at you CM than on her own at home from 8.30am to 6pm? I do not get it.

Could you take her to work in the morning and get her child minded for the afternoon to reduce your CM cost?

I think 4 hours is still a long time to fill on your own for a 9yo.

Original poster
macdoodle · 14/08/2010 16:23

She's 9 in 4 weeks, if that makes a difference.

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mjinhiding · 14/08/2010 16:24

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Original poster
macdoodle · 14/08/2010 16:24

Just to clarify, leaving her the whole day at home by herself is NOT an option.

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mjinhiding · 14/08/2010 16:24

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Original poster
macdoodle · 14/08/2010 16:26

No she can't bring a friend, its a GP surgery, they would be too noisy I suspect. But if I could find a friend for Tuesday I would ask them to have her, that is the problem.

OP posts:
Merrylegs · 14/08/2010 16:26

Speaking as someone with a sensible and mature 9 year old DD, I would say it is too long. Sorry. Leave her with the childminder.

belgo · 14/08/2010 16:27

Yes take her to work with you. It's good for children to be bored sometimes. Life can't always be exciting. And with her DS/ipod she'll have plenty to keep her entertained.

Merrylegs · 14/08/2010 16:28

Oh, sorry. Just realised you meant just the afternoon. Hmm. Still too long. Work am, childminder pm?

LucyLouLou · 14/08/2010 16:29

I like gorionine's idea. Take her to work in the morning and the CM in the afternoon. Change of scenery for your DD and a reduction on CC costs. I think she's a little too young to be left alone, but that's JMO.

mjinhiding · 14/08/2010 16:29

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StormyWeather · 14/08/2010 16:29

She quite definitely not should be left alone for this length of time. Take her to work with you, and she'll be fine I'm sure.

Funny how another thread on here talks about a 7 year old playing in a playpark outside her block of flats on her own and everyone is up in arms about her being 'unsupervised', while a some seem to think leaving a not quite 9 year old alone in the house for hours on end is ok.

compo · 14/08/2010 16:29

Has she a school friend she could go to? Even if it's just for half the day ?

onimolap · 14/08/2010 16:30

I think it's too long and would bite the cost bullet and send her to the childminder. I wouldn't leave my 9 yr old for more than about half an hour, and I wouldn't do a whole day until early teens.

TanteRose · 14/08/2010 16:33

Stormy, not ONE person on this thread has said they think that leaving her on her own for hours on end is OK Hmm

Merrylegs · 14/08/2010 16:34

Having done a 'come to work bring your itouch and some colouring pens' with my 9 year old DD (who is, to reiterate, v sensible and mature...) I would still say half a day at work max is already probably 3 hours too long. Honestly, don't do a whole day!

ArthuriaAugustaDArcy · 14/08/2010 16:35

She's too young, and it's too long. I'd take her to work. I remember my dad taking me to work very occasionally when I was a child. It was boring, but I survived!

gorionine · 14/08/2010 16:35

StormyWeather, I think the difference with the other thread (been lurking) is that it is probably safer to be left alone in your own house than outside (even though for me 4 hours is too long I can sort of imagine doing it, calling every 20 mins though to check all is fine). Also if I remember correctly the 7yo was also minding a much younger sibling. quite different really.

turningvioletviolet · 14/08/2010 16:37

i wouldn't and i tend to think of myself as pretty relaxed about these sort of things. i have just this summer started leaving ds who is 13 for approx 6 hours whilst we are at work.
if it's any help dd1 who is 10 this month spent yesterday with dd2 (4) and her childminder for the first time and had a fab time - even said she wanted to go again.

dd1 is VERY sensible - and i do leave her for up to an hour or so on her own but not really any more than that. i suppose the thought of being on her own is exciting for your dd but the reality probably wouldn't live up to expectation.

Original poster
macdoodle · 14/08/2010 16:39

Hmm ok, seems the consensus is not even in the afternoon for a few hours, I think I'll take her to work, and if she is very bored see if the CM will have her after lunch or if one of my friends in the road is home.

For whoever asked, no of course I wouldnt leave her in the patient waiting room Hmm. The common room, is where the staff (doctors/nurses/receptionists) go for their breaks, it has a table/chairs/small kitchen etc, it is completely seperate from patient areas. She has come to work with me before for shorter periods and knows all our staff. They will pop in to chat with her/check on her.

OP posts:
Original poster
macdoodle · 14/08/2010 16:42

She likes being home alone, because she can loll about on the settee, wtahc TV or play on the computer without being hassled by her little sister.
I have left her before for about an hour and a half.

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mjinhiding · 14/08/2010 16:42

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