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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not feel repressed or oppressed as a woman living in the UK?

68 replies

LynetteScavo · 13/08/2010 19:24

I have always felt like I could do anything I wanted to, and being female wasn't something that was holding me back.

I have always felt equal to men.(Although I do acknowledge men tend to be physically stronger)

AIBU?

OP posts:

MillyR · 13/08/2010 21:45

My post was in response to SM.

Portofino · 13/08/2010 21:47

Indeed Maggie is totally responsible, on a personal level, for all of Conservative policy during the 80s!

scottishmummy · 13/08/2010 21:48

indeed no one could argue Maggie t was one of the gerls or good for feminism because she was a burd in politics

Portofino · 13/08/2010 21:54

The thing is, girls CAN do all this stuff! It is not men that is stopping them! Education is key. I think other women hold women back as much as men do.

Mention Victoria Beckham or Jordan on MN and watch the vitriol spout! But they are independant and successful and get to call the shots. OK, you can argue about HOW they made their fortunes, but who's on here linking to DM articles about men in a similar sphere?

Portofino · 13/08/2010 21:56

Excuse my grammar - grade A in English me!

LittleMissHissyFit · 13/08/2010 22:00

My mum told me that when she got married in 1964, she was told by many members of her family that to work was unacceptable, that she was taking a job away from men, etc etc!

Didn't stop her!

LeninGrad · 13/08/2010 22:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Portofino · 13/08/2010 22:20

But why is that though? There are plenty of women who ARE in that position. They did it. Is it purely inequality that stops it being a 50/50 split?

My experience is that many women with children have other priorities than fame and glory. The very act of giving birth changes something. You no longer put yourself first in the world. This is biology not repression. I honestly don't see that you can have full "equality" in the sense of "power, influence and status" until men have evolved enough to give birth themselves.

The focus should be not on everyone being powerful, but on raising the status of the caring roles in society. Why should you be a "failure" because you are not CEO?

MillyR · 13/08/2010 22:25

Portofino, so in countries where women and men are equally represented in the workforce, do you think those women don't really care about their children and are denying their biology?

Portofino · 13/08/2010 22:26

No. I never said that. Are there any countries where women hold positions of power and influence at the same level as men?

Portofino · 13/08/2010 22:31

I am interested in why women are underepresented in the power and influence sphere.

I think there is empirical evidence that as a mother your priorities can change. We can't ALL be CEOs. Why is this the only measure of equality and success?

MillyR · 13/08/2010 22:32

Iceland. Cuba, certainly at the level of local organisation. The leadership of the country is somewhat more murky.

I think the argument that just because some women make it everyone could make it is rather spurious. Some women made it before the sex discrimination act came in. Should we not have the sex discrimination act? Should it still be legal to sack women for becoming pregnant or getting married. After all, some women made it so what is the problem?

It just seems like we are pushing a lot on to the individual, when there are clearly legal and social changes that can give people more of an equal chance.

MillyR · 13/08/2010 22:35

I don't think being a CEO is a good measure of equality. I think the issue is more with judges, police detectives, psychiatrists, doctors and other individuals who have a lot of power over the lives of ordinary people. Terrible injustices have happened to women because of the prejudices of these groups over the year.

So an individual woman becoming a judge does not make her better or more equal than a SAHM, a large number of women becoming judges changes the culture of the legal system, and that benefits all women.

MillyR · 13/08/2010 22:36

'Over the years' not year! 2010 hasn't been that bad!

Portofino · 13/08/2010 22:40

No, my point is that we CAN'T all make it. Some of us can, but it is to do with intelligence, and luck, and effort and sheer bloody hard work. But it is not MEN that are stopping us from doing it.

The opportunities ARE there if you want them. In fact today, the law actually positively discriminates in our favour. I think there are fewer women at the very top, because fewer women actually want to be there!

We can't all be at the top, not possible. It's what happens at the other end we should be worrying about.

squirrel007 · 13/08/2010 23:25

I also don't feel at all oppressed or repressed as a woman in the UK, and I've never felt that there's anything I can't do that a man can. I have successfully made my way in a male-dominated industry, where being female has never been an issue with any of my colleagues. But, it took a lot of hard work and self belief to get where I am, and I'm not sure what will happen in the future as hb and I are about to start a family. If I think about the hard work needed to make it to the top, and balancing that against time spent with family, then I'm not convinced that succeeding professionally will win out in the end for me.

I do believe that women can make it any profession, though it seems to me like a lot of women start out at the bottom but that more men make it all the way to the top. Not sure why that is - maybe having a family changes things, maybe women just don't want to get to the top, or maybe there is some embedded bias? I suspect a combination of different factors are at work.

Heracles · 14/08/2010 01:46

Oppression in the UK is still largely class/finance-based, be you man, woman or hermaphrodite...

Chil1234 · 14/08/2010 08:25

The distinction is that women are legally equal to men in the UK. However, there are still too many barriers that prevent equality in practice. As the freed negro slaves of the USA found back in the 19th century, legal freedom doesn't translate to genuine freedom unless and until the whole of society walks the talk.... which in the USA, even with an African American president, they still haven't.

I think, as women, we have taken our eye off the ball since equal rights legislation was introduced because we think the job is done. Life for women in the UK of 2010 is better than it was in 1910 or 1960. However, there are still too many restrictions on women - some of our own making, I'm sad to say, and some that are unwritten and unspoken but accepted as 'normal'. Even worse, new ones are being created all the time. The imported misogynistic arena of arranged marriage, 'honour killing' and enforced face-covering... these are the new battlegrounds for equality.

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