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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to give a present away as a present?

29 replies

QueenSconetta · 12/08/2010 14:35

the gift is lovely but is the wrong size/season combination for my DD. I have tried to exchange but the shop (Mamas and Papas to name and shame), have refused as it was bought in Feb (don't live anywhere near a M&P so had to wait we were on hols).

Is it really as terrible as I suspect to give it away (with tags still on) as a gift to an acquaintence who has just had a baby?

OP posts:
FindingMyMojo · 12/08/2010 14:37

it would be terrible NOT to gift it onto another child (and very wasteful too)

TonariNoTotoro · 12/08/2010 14:37

No, of course not! I'd most likely sell it on ebay :)

Original poster
QueenSconetta · 12/08/2010 14:40

I mean though to give it instead of buying a proper baby gift, rather than saying 'I had this as present can you use it' kind of thing.

OP posts:
TonariNoTotoro · 12/08/2010 14:40

Why wouldn't you? Just because you hadn't paid for it yourself?

I'd certainly do it :)

AngelHMum · 12/08/2010 14:42

Not in the slightest.

I had a dd last December and received as a present from an elderly family member some Next T-shirts which were obviously for a boy. They had been bought in the sale some time previously and Next wouldn't exchange or credit me.

A friend of mine had a boy within a week of me and I honestly felt no shame in gifting them to her along with a book I'd chosen myself.

Obviously I sent my relative a lovely thank you note saying how much we appreciated the present.

TheBreastmilksOnMe · 12/08/2010 14:42

If you're short of cash then I would use it and pass it off as a gift from me but if you're not then I would give the gift, explain and buy something else as a gift as well.

HavingAnOffDAy · 12/08/2010 14:43

I see no problem at all with giving it away as a 'proper present'

I'd do it - and probably have!

ChippingIn · 12/08/2010 14:44

I can understand why you feel the way you do, I would too... but really, there isn't a good reason to feel that way - a gift is a gift surely?

I don't know how we get past feeling it's wrong though?? GrinConfused

FindingMyMojo · 12/08/2010 14:45

Yes that's what I ment too! I don't see the issue with passing on a lovely gift if it's suitable.

Do you really thinking our babies will thank us in 40 years for burdening them with ooodles of environmentally unfriendly crap at birth that has contributed to the degradation of our/their planet? So rather than feel ashamed/embarassed hold your head high and be green!

(of course there is no need to tell the other Mum it's regifted & you might want to use new wrapping paper Smile)

Graciescotland · 12/08/2010 14:45

I'd give it as a proper gift, so long as it's the right size/season combination for their lo.

diddl · 12/08/2010 14:46

Why not?

If you feel really bad buy a small something as well or give a little money for a bank account?

Original poster
QueenSconetta · 12/08/2010 14:48

Regifted, what a lovely word!

ChippingIn - I don't feel so bad now most other people think its not so bad!

OP posts:
nancydrewrocked · 12/08/2010 14:52

Honestly I wouldn't and I am slightly embarassed to admit it is because I would worry that if they didn't like it and so tried to return it it would be obvious that I was regiffting and I would feel a bit....well....tight....

Clary · 12/08/2010 14:52

I regift all the time.

When yr DC are older, youget doubles/things they already have/things with characters on they hate for b/day pressies.

Remove, place on top of wardrobe, recall who they were from (write note if necessary) and give to next appropriate child.

(This works better if you have several chn - Book DD already has goes to DS2's little pal etc to avoid recognition! Grin)

BornToFolk · 12/08/2010 14:59

Well, what else would you do with it? Stick it in a cupboard where it wouldn't get used?

I'd be a bit [hmmm] if it was a gift you hated for some reason, and then you gave it away but if you think it's lovely, then why not?

I've regifted books that DS has been given, when he's already got them. Can't be bothered taking them back to the shop and DS doesn't notice. I have usually bought something to go with them though as it feels a bit tight to give away something I didn't pay for.

melikalikimaka · 12/08/2010 16:26

Do it when I can, I keep getting red wine bought for me, it always gets given as a present. It's called recycling!

QueenofAllWildThings · 12/08/2010 16:32

Absolutely not unreasonable - it's not tight, it's sensible in this economic climate as well. Have done it many a time!

sam84uk · 12/08/2010 16:51

So long as the person you're giving it to doesn't know the person who gave it to you then I'd definitely do it.

I was a bit peeved this year though when my DD received a present for her birthday from a school friend that was obviously what I'd bought for that child's birthday about a month before. Obviously the Mum didn't realise who'd gave her son what.

BonzoDoodah · 12/08/2010 17:00

I think it's perfectly acceptable. As long as it is something you might have bought their child (ie not something you hate).
And you could use the money you saved to buy your DD something that fits/that you like so the present is not entirely wasted iykwim

sanielle · 12/08/2010 18:02

I was going to make Bonzodoodahs point.

insertexpletive · 12/08/2010 18:08

I do it all the time I'm afraid. I have a whole cupboard filled with the tat lovely gifts given to me or dc that are not suitable/duplicate.

Anything that is really not nice gets given to charity shops or school fair.

mollycuddles · 12/08/2010 18:58

I was given a fabulous selection of pampering stuff by a friend after dd was born. Lovely postnatal lavender products. But not suitable with my eczema which was much worse after the whole pg/birth/dealing with a newborn etc. I have kept it for a good friend who has now had her baby. Ten weeks after mine. She doesn't know my other lovely friend.

I never even considered that this was not the done thing.

Yanbu

EmmaRoyd · 12/08/2010 19:06

DH got loads of gifts from his family at christmas but he is so ungrateful I knew he so was barely paying attention when he opened them all. I bought them home and put away a bottle of aftershave his aunt got him. I have such faith in his crap memory that come his birthday in January, he was really pleased to receive the exact same aftershave repackaged by me!

muriel76 · 12/08/2010 19:11

YANBU.

I would do it - it's not like it's something you hate and are dumping on someone else.

Since having kids I tend to ask for gift tokens for my (autumn) birthday and then use them on xmas pressies.....needs must and all that!

Firawla · 12/08/2010 19:33

i would do it but then buy something extra aswel (small dont have to buy so much because you are giving that thing too) but even just to give that is probably fine, only personally i would do an extra

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