Overheard DH and his mother bitching about me....

[PosieParker]

on the phone.

Just about to call my sister and I picked up the landline, DH on the other phone. I was about to put it down, as I am not interested in what Mrs Hampton down the road is having for tea!!, and MIL says 'You should stand your ground Son' with FIL saying 'they're taking the piss out of you....'. So I couldn't help but listen. MIL was tellng my DH that no man she knows does as much as him....I am a SAHM and do pretty much everything, but he is rather hands on. MIL also said she never interferes, she does by constantly agreeing with my DH and never ever helping out, there have been a couple of occasions when I have asked (as a last resort) for her to talk about his drinking, not coming home, coming in in the early hours. She even mentioned one of my FB updates (about an obscene phonecall) but not one about him coming in on a Tuesday night at 2am........

So AIBU to defriend her? and would you have listened? And finally AIBU to think I was right about this woman all along? (I have always known that she didn't like me and DH was completely oblivious.)

Sorry proudnsad. I wasn't having a go.

Well tbh they all sound like bullies.

If my son treated his wife badly, although I don´t know if I would pull him up on it, I´d hate to think that I would join in.

agree with alouise and others. it's not realistic to expect his parents to take your side and talk him into better behaviour. also if you can't vent to your own mother, who can you vent to.....MIL isn't the issue (except that her attitude probably has set the scene for your DH's sense of entitlement), your DH is.

Unfortunately, I might also be wondering what she had done to make him treat her so badly.

she said/he said shut up you fucking idiot is op describing dialogue with her husband.not me paraphrasing at all.her situation sounds quite upsetting.but she needs too knock the fb gossip on head.and he needs to address his wife bit more civilly

S'ok Morris!

i agree,maybe dont traipse the detritus of your marriage across fb or mn.be bit more circumspect.but post on aibu expect comments,its nature of aibu

has anyone said
leave him
hes an abuser
toxic
standard aibu stock phrase's about relationships

Posie, YANBU to be pissed off about DH and MIL talking about you behind your back, but AIBU is not the place to discuss it.

I recall a horrid thread about this man and his behaviour not that long ago. Blogs about him etc etc... TBH, I know you have 4 kids, one of them tiny, but he is treating you like a doormat and his mother clearly has little respect for you either.

OK as far as I know, your situation is not as extreme as the other DP/MIL thread that is running, but seriously you need to stand up for yourself.

Take your MIL off FB (FGS, it's just wrong) Tell DH that you accidentally overheard their conversation and that you are very disappointed in them both.

Put them on a caution, keep them at arms length and make sure they know why. Don't relax this until they both apologise.

Put up some boundaries.

why are you talking funny wee and making stereotypes.wpuld you ask someone english who pissed on their full english cooked breakfast

do read the thread -consensus is they are both daft op and her husband.all the gossiping detracts from an obvious malaise

less fb,about ins outs of relationship
more adult behaviour might be good steer for op

a large proportion of issues on this forum are about facebook.

Not a great thing. Why use it and why on earth have your mil connected to you.

i eat porridge sm

yes I would ask a poster called englishmummy who pissed on her full english.... an ozzymumm who pissed on her barby or similar..... it's called wordplay... not stereotyping...

FWIW, I did read the thread. I also recall the last large thread written and this latest FB spat is not at the root of all this.

jeeez, lighten up woman! you are being caustic of late, Have a laugh once in a while. It's allowed you know?!

As for the "funny wee brackets" ...it's what I do sometimes to amuse myself....

tis only brackets on a screen...

you seem somewhat agitated,about words on a screen.not even your post

Posie Parker.

Grounds for friggin divorce I would say.

LOL, agitated? of course not! I'm honestly cool as a cucumber.. just being facetious really!

great.dont scald yer gizz on yer porridge

thanks again, I feel supported and told off all at the same time!

Posie, if you want to be the kind of person who updates your FB status with honest and revealing comments about your private life and your marriage warts and all, (not my thing but I accept it's what alot of people do these days) it really isn't a good idea to have your parents or PILS as friends on FB at all. If everyone who ever needed to vent to friends about their DH did it knowing damn well his mother was listening, there'd barely be an intact marriage anywwhere!

You cannot afford to have a moan unless you know you are moaning to people who are on your side in the first place. And asking her not to take sides is unrealistic - he's her son. No-one likes to hear their child being publicly criticised, even if the complainant does have a point.

I'm starting to really worry about the impact of FB on the lives of supposedly intelligent adults, who seem to have totally abandoned all notions of discretion, emotional intelligence and common sense, in favour of living obsessively through FB and spilling every thought/desire/rant that pops into their heads onto the screen for all to see. Just because technology allows you to do it, doesn;t mean you have to, or should.

Especially when things can so easily be taken out of context on a screen, and imagined slights are stewed over for days, bravado takes over and people find it easier to be snide and spiteful and controlling by making little passive/aggressive comments they know will offend a third party. And the hours of angst that are devoted to analysing what has or hasn;t been said on someone's FB page - Good God.

It's incredibly unhealthy and damaging, and causes what may be small spats to spiral out of control into huge ones.

Please Posie, whatever problems there may be in your marriage, the two of you should have the dignity to work them out quietly, and in private.

Thanks Fella!! I think FB is a place to boast and antagonise!!

"I think FB is a place to boast and antagonise!!"

Which I would suggest is where you´re going wrong-why would you ever want to do either?

That was a retrospective look, not the reason I was there!!

I'm laso concerned that ther seems to be a bit of DH and mil v. Posie and Posie's DM going on. There seems to be alot of tit for tat and taking your own child's side.

I think both the mothers ought to be butting out a bit TBH.

be more circumspect.stop yakking on fb.fix your marriage without the rubberneckers mothers sticking their tuppence in