to NOT want a health visitor to come to my house?

[Heathcliffscathy]

didn't have this last time as had indep midwives. just picked up red book when saw health visitor at gp surgery at 8 week check.

I've been visited by lovely community midwives at home several times. baby doing fab, has put on a pound this week (!!). I'm fine if tired.

They're going to bash me over the head with a sledgehammer re immunisations (which I certainly wouldn't countenance at 8 weeks, and in fact have no intention of having at all as with ds1) and probably suggest a formula top up. even the midwife agreed that health visitors are woefully misinformed a lot of the time and have very strange ideas wrt for eg early weaning.

I don't want her to come. can I say no and just go for 8 week check at gps?

I think the sad thing is that what you get from your health visitor depends on how knowledgable the mother is.

I had very severe postnatal depression with my son so my health visitor has kept an eye on me. She has also visited me because my daughter's weight is quite low and I have had anorexic tendanices in the past.

My health visitor is a lovely lady, if not a little old fashioned. She has been worrying about my weight and was surprised when I told her my weight and height in metric. (Decimisation happened long before I was born!)I find it amusing that she converts my daugher's weight into pounds. (I have more clue what 7.66kg means.)

I have failed abissmally to persaude her that computers and the internet are wonderful. Apparently she hates computers with a passion. However I she was happy to borrow my copy of the "no cry sleep solution" and my book on CBT.

Not everyone will agree with you in life. It is what makes life interesting.

It seems to me that HVs are in an impossible position... so much expectation and responsibility, yet so few resources and such little autonomy.

But the paradox is, if you are threatened with Social Services for "refusing" help, you're then seen as a risk when you "accept" help. It feels like a catch-22 that's of help to nobody...

I only saw the HV once for my DS as a newborn and then for 8 month check at the clinic.

She suggested doing the same again for newborn DD.

Even though she was a bit about me intending to raise DS as vegan (the official guidance then was 'not recommended', it's since changed) but she just had a sensible conversation with me about nutrition until she realised that I knew plenty about it.

She was also full of praise about how I was coping with motherhood, breastfeeding etc.

Didn't suggest formula top-ups despite DS being on the small side. She gave me some good advice about expressing and other things.

The weight charts in the red books have been updated and are now based on BF babies.

I no longer see my HVs after being patronised and them trying to force me to give DD formula (she is low on the charts) so I stopped going to them and have taken myself off the paed instead for some advice that isn't just "give her formula".

Just to add DD projectiles any amount of formula (usually about 1ml) I get into her.

I've really felt well supported by the HVs we've known.