To wish that my mum wasn't so small-minded?

[cupcakesandbunting]

My mum, bit of a female Bernard Manning; men should be men, women should be women and brown people are funny

Anyway, we were in ELC last week and DS who is 3 started playing with the blue toy pushchair. I mentioned that I might get him one as he makes a beeline for the one at playgroup, and mum did this face like I'd said I was thinking about buying him a nailgun to play with. "He's a boy" she said. I remarked that so was DH and he pushed DS round in a pushchair, to which she went "that's different, he's DS's dad" to which I then said that next she'd be saying that only little girls couls play with toy kitchens because only women cook.

Then she told me to shut up.

AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!

Simple... don't take granny shopping. A lot of them simultaneously start losing their marbles and acquiring BNP-style tendencies around this age.

You're so right, Chil.

I forgot to say that she asked what I would give him to push around in the buggy. What does she think? A fucking lettuce?

Wow. Tbh I would be worried about the amount of influence your mum has as your kids grow up. This kind of attitude is worrying. I know she's your mum, but a racist and sexist person would not be someone I'd want being able to impart impressions on my child.

YADNBU.

Well, I've been steadily recording my mother's metamorphosis into a BNP voter, and I blame her Daily Mail habit.

Avoiding the Daily Mail is key.

I work in ELC and ive lost count of the amount of "discussions" ive overheard about this!
9 times out of 10 the mother is all for buying her young DS a pushchair but then either the man or an older relative shoots them down saying only girls can play with pushchairs. It's extra funny if it's a man saying it whilst leaning on the pushchair... then I usually give em what for!
Buy your DS a pushchair and ignore your mother, hell buy your DS a kitchen and hoover whilst you are at it!

Buggy incident nothing. My own BNP-esque mother said something slightly offhand about black people recently and we pointed out that a lot of her immediate family are of afro-caribbean origin.... "But they're not black" she huffed indignantly "they're from Oldham "

I'm sure Heston Blumenthal would have loved an ELC kitchen had they been around when he was growing up. Him and those other famously gender-confused types like Jamie Oliver, Gordon Ramsay, Keith Floyd....

Ask her what she thinks will happen if DS has a push chair... What will actually happen? Is he going to suddenly start singing show tunes? start wearing Dolce and Gabbana pants? Take up a hair dressing course?

(Not that there is anything wrong with the above... with the exception of Dolce and gabbana pants )

The best thing is, he has a toy hoover and SHE wants to buy him a toy washing machine/ironing board. There's clearly something very "gay" about pram-pushing that I'm missing...

god, my stepfather's mother and aunt were dreadful

my adopted Indian brother (severely autistic with other LDs) was their worst nightmare - comments like "they smell, don't they" etc, and omitting him when sending Christmas presents etc

also my adopted quadroplegic Hispanic sister horrified them

"should be in an 'ome"

ditto no presents or cards when they sent them for my "normal" half-brother

Christ, 90% of the people I know are racist, seriously.

Its really depressing.

My mum is awful, as is her best mate.

I always challenge what she says but it ends up in a row between us.

Yes unfortunately I also have one of those mothers.

Her face was a picture when I bought DD1 some toy cars for her first birthday.

I often think what she would think of DD2 with her dinosaurs, cars and tool box and the fact she wants to be a builder and drive a digger when she grows up.

She was utterly horrified when one day I let slip that I outearned DP (he went back to retrain of course I earned more that him) accordingly to her women should never outearn men as the men will leave them, oh and of course she once told me DP would leave me if "I" couldn't give him a son.

I often feel very sorry for that generation of women brought up to believe they are inferior to men.

This post has made me laugh

My Dad is 72 years old and he told me he was voting for the BNP just to wind me up as i think that OAP's lose their marbles and i agree with Cill.

Just goes to show its not only old people who have streotypes (sp?)

Also we got our Son a little Henry (we have a big Henry) and i'm sure its not normal for an 18 month old to want to hover the livingroom and to throw a fit if we dont let him have a go with big Henry once we have cleaned up? DS also has a thing for wiping the floor with kitchen roll, i dont know where he gets it from as DH and i hate cleaning {wink]

My mum is a bit of a Daily Mail racist rather than a full-on, National Front black-basher. She's ignorant rather than spiteful and she truly believes that churches are being knocked down to make way for mosques. Dh and I recently stated winding her up every time a shop/cafe/pub shut down by telling her they had closed to make way for a mosque

Greensleeves that's horrible :(

My mum is not this bad, but very old fashioned about this stuff and loves the ELC as it tells her just what to buy for boys (diggers, dinosaurs) and what to buy for girls (dolls, fairy outfits).
She did buy DS a pushchair though so she can't be that bad :)

You could look on the bright side, all our DSs wanting pushchairs. They see their dads / men in general pushing buggies, so having a toy buggy of their own is just them copying grown men? And that's a good thing - they see men caring for children and emulate them when they are older.

Our mothers never saw that in their childhood, so their attitudes reflect that.

Wanttofly, for DS's second christmas when he was about 18 months we made "santa" footprints in flour in the kitchen. He came down in the morning and was amazed, we have a lovely picture of him pointing at them and looking impressed.
Then he disappeared off to his toybox - to get some of his toys to see the magic too, we assumed.
No, he came back with his toy mop, to clear up the mess :o

And one of his first ever games was washing the windows with the dishcloth. He can only have been a year old - that's not something he'd have ever seen us doing!

My DS has a pushchair and baby and loves taking it out. I loved it as it always made him walk further! But, loads of people gave me those looks as if it was wrong?! Bet they are the first to complain about feckless men and all those single mothers.

I too blame the Daily Mail

"She was utterly horrified when one day I let slip that I outearned DP (he went back to retrain of course I earned more that him) accordingly to her women should never outearn men as the men will leave them, oh and of course she once told me DP would leave me if "I" couldn't give him a son."

Well, on that basis, SK, I'd better start looking for the divorce papers then. hadn't I?

Mind you, DH always says I've let him down - I don't earn enough to let him give up work completely..........

My Mother talking about one of her friends sons..

"He is one of those gays you know, a real proper type gay"

as I questioned her as to what a real proper gay was like it was apparently feminine and very interested in clothes!

I have one of those mothers too.

Apparently once I'm her age and have the benefit of experience I'll understand why she is right - my 45 years not really amounting to enough

My unborn DD will be coming home from hospital in a Superman outfit (complete with cape) purchased by my 60+ mother. Other older family members have said how unfortunate it is that my poor little girl won't get to see photos of her in a dress, the first time she comes home. Apparently newborns care about gender rules as well ....