to think more than occasional pain med in preg is dangerous

[eml71]

We have an acquaintance who is also pregnant and constantly in and out of the A.E. or labour ward with pain issues. The doctors have never found anything to diagnose (they don't know what causes it) but she goes almost every weekend. I'd say for every 3 or 4 visits she gets pain killers and seems really chuffed to have gotten them. I have a really hard time acting supportive since taking any drug in pregnancy worries me, but especially opiates like this.
HOWEVER -- I have only felt that kind of pain in labour so I can't relate, and may be being really unfair. Is it reasonably common to have so much pain in pregnancy? I'm not a health care professional and it should be noneofmybusiness but it worries me. Isn't it dangerous to take opiates when pregnant? I guess they are doctors so they would know what to give.
I keep having this sensation that I'm watching a drug addict trying to score each time she has a 'pain attack' but feel really super duper jerky for thinking this. This person was weaned off pain killers for another condition (fibro) about 5 months into her pregnancy.

YABU and judgemental.

Show me some evidence of your theory.

I dont think you are being horrible to worry, but Firbromyalgia is quite hard to suffer with esp with NO PAIN help.. THink she was good to wean hersefl off the regular pills and switch to occasional relief.

So YAB a little bit U

Yep. None of your business.

I have severe arthritis in both hips, and am haing both replaced this year. DD is 9mos and I had quite a bit of pain throughout the pregancy with her. All doctors reassured me that codine, paracetemol (and apparently certain amounts of tramadol and morphine) were generally OK. The bad ones are the anti-inflammatories such as diclofenac and anything asprin or ibuprofen based.

So, if they're giving her painkiller in the hospital and they know she's pregnant, the baby will be fine, you don't need to worry about it.

However, if you think it's got nothing to do with the pregnancy and she's addicted to codeine then...don't know what you're going to do about it really. Se if she's still at it after having the baby, but if she has another condition anyway the you can't predict how it will be affecting her.

I know, I definitely think I'm being judgemental, but there are red flags for me.
When you say my theory - do you mean that there might be a substance abuse issue?
I suppose if the doctor gives multiple suggestions for treatment in addition to pain killers - i.e. physio, swimming, but only pain killers are used it sends a warning.
I think when the attacks coincide very regularly with term breaks that also throws a red flag; i.e. my other child is home and I just can't cope. Maybe there are anxiety issues?
I suppose if the dr that knows you best weans you off pain meds, then it seems suspect to keep trying to get them off the A.E.
It makes me uncomfortable, but it's not my business. To give you some background on me, a cousin of mine got addicted to pain killers after back surgery and I think that certain kinds of medication can really upset a persons' chemical balance. I feel doctors sometimes aren't as careful as they should be.

She may find it hard to keep up at term time with her disabilty EML71. Chasing after young children, lifting them more house work. May cause her illness to flare up.

BTW, thanks for the sense check guys. I think I should leave it to the professionals.

Mind, I didn't say friend, I said acquaintance. I think if we were friends I could tell her that I was worried.

The things is, she didn't tell the dr when she was trying for a baby and her fibro medication caused several miscarriages. It was horrible to watch, but I never understood why she didn't tell them. She said she wasn't actively trying, but it was terrible after 3 or 4 miscarriages. It all came out eventually and they took her off a bunch of meds, and I guess that's part of what has me biting my finger nails.
I've heard so much about it [texts etc] that part of me feels involved, and I don't want anything bad to happen.

I think you are not well informed enough to judge on the matter.

Thanks for the feedback. It's good to have an alternate opinion.

Who knows, your friend could have a problem, or she could be in excruciating, undiagnosed pain which is making her life unbearable...

I would really hazard against comparing one's own experience of pregnancy (thinking of yours as the norm) with that of other people who might be experiencing a totally different set of circumstances.

Doctors of all stripes - male, female, childless, those who are parents themselves - can be amazingly dismissive of pain in pregnancy. IMHO it is all too common for them to brush it off as just 'one of those pregnancy things' and for them to imply you should really be big and brave enough to deal with it. Very often, GPs will prescribe nothing stronger than paracetamol even for severe, disabling pain - for anything that actually might work, a hospital referral is often necessary. Sometimes GPs are not keen to provide referrals for a variety of reasons, or they may take a long time to come through. Maybe that is why your acquaintance keeps presenting at A and E.

On the school holiday issue - it could be that she does just find it incredibly hard to deal with the other kids and her pain, too. Maybe the pain is stopping her sleeping and she is totally exhausted????? Why not talk to her?

That's my personal experience, in any case.

What I meant was, that is my reflection based on personal experience (!)

BTW, I'm not an entirely nosey parker. My husband has been approached by his friend [her husband] and he has asked me. I think her husband is worried.
Because I really don't know what that kind of pregnancy pain is like, nor has any of my mates I wondered. My one friend was in a wheel chair for the end of her pregnancy because of joint issues but she didn't take any pain medication. That is why I wondered how common it is.
Because of my family experience I have a real worry about drs prescribing too easy but it seems like I'm projecting.

She has Fibro? And you're getting judgey for her taking pain killers? You're not only being unreasonable, but one of those infuriating "Well It Can't Be That Bad" people. Try spending a day in her life, in chronic amounts of pain, add in pregnancy and "Is this illness pains or pregnancy" worries, and then maybe you can judge.

YABU. I have fibro and it has flared up in my pregnancy - I also had severe SPD last time which is starting again and I could get no help or advice (no matter how much I asked) regarding painkillers so stuck to paracetamol. I was in so much pain yesterday I could hardly walk and I would have been ecstatic if anyone had given me painkillers - maybe that is why your acquaintance seems so happy at getting painkillers.

I discussed with my doctor today about taking codeine and am going to try to wait until after 14 weeks (am currently 11 weeks) as I have enough help from family to get by. Maybe this woman doesn't have that support from family/friends. Doctors wouldn't give her something that was dangerous and thankfully she has found doctors who are willing to help manage her pain with drugs - it is a hideous experience to go through pregnancy in constant, considerable pain.

Sometimes, pregnant women need medication, be it for pain relief or another issue. The doctors know what they are doing. I speak as someone who had so many drugs while pregnant I rattled.

Hi germl, thanks for the info. I think when you don't know about the condition you don't know what to expect. Thanks for sharing that.

YABU and your op come across as very judgmental and kinda smug but fair do's to you as you seem to understand how judgmental you seem.

When I was pg with DD2 I was in and out of the mat home all the way through my pg with severe pain. Still to this day the MW's, doctors/consultants and myself are not 100% what was causing the pain. But I was in agony.

I was kept in many times for several days/nights and given an array of painkillers to help with the pain.

I have heard that fibro is quite painful (never had it myself so wouldn't know) if she has come of her regular pain meds for fibro then no wonder she is in pain!!

That might be different, then. It depends - do you trust your husband's friend's judgement? Do you think he is the sort of person who is liable to brush off or overlook his wife's concerns - or is he a sensitive and thoughtful individual?

I pity your friend who used the wheelchair -poor thing. It's always a personal decision, but there are forms of pain medication which can be taken relatively safely in pregnancy. It is always safter to take no pain or other medication in pregnancy but it's the balance of risk thing, isn't it?

While I am not a willy-nilly pill-popping mum-to-be, I have taken pain relief after my doctor pointed out that I am putting myself and my unborn child at far, far greater statistical risk by getting in a car and driving it most days.

It's ok eml71 - sometimes even my own family don't understand how much it hurts all the time! I think it's also hard to see someone who looks perfectly normal in so much pain that they need prescription painkillers during pregnancy - it's a bit of a taboo in pregnancy to want that extra pain relief, but I am very open that I will need that to stay the right side of depression and I think that being open just lets other know that for some, pregnancy is a horrible time.

You know what's weird, 'insertwittyname' is that as a pregnant woman you sort of conditioned from midwives etc to be cautious about an epidural because of the effect on the baby, and then you hear about all kinds of pain medication being OK. I think that is part of what surprises me too. I have this must not take any drug mentality ingrained.
I don't think I'm smug though. I thought the point of ABU is to share when you think you're being unreasonable. I think I'd be a bit of an ass if I posted this in the pregnancy section. There appear to be many prejudices about conditions like Fibro and trying to learn about it is a good thing. IMO. I guess there is alot of backlash based on the responses. People sound really frustrated.