Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to read the slatterns threads and then want to sob

41 replies

worrywarts · 09/08/2010 08:29

:(

can't even get myself out of bed
dreading another day with dd (i always thought i'd find motherhood easy, I always loved kids, but since having one it's like i dont even want to be around children)

:(
Housework to be done
Gardening to sort out
Poor DD she loves me so much and I feel so rubbish

OP posts:
Original poster
worrywarts · 09/08/2010 08:30

ps DD is 4.

And I never used to feel like this :(

I'm going to have a little cry and then get up!!

OP posts:
sarahscot · 09/08/2010 08:31

I haven't read the slatterns thread, but to be honest it sounds to me like you might be depressed. It might be a good idea to go and have a chat with your GP.

Headbanger · 09/08/2010 08:33

You need to see your GP. And if your daughter loves you a great deal, you must be a loving mother.

Besides, I find the slatterns thread bizarre - if I read it, I would want to cry too!

StealthPolarBear · 09/08/2010 08:37

please see your GP
Do you have a DH/DP? Do you have any family nearby who can help?

Toclearmyhead · 09/08/2010 08:38

That's a bit mean Headbanger

OP - Make an appointment with GP.

Why don't you post on the slattern's thread? They seem lovely. Maybe a little encouragement will help, tackle things one step at a time rather than looking at the whole picture.

bubbles12 · 09/08/2010 08:38

I agree with the other posters about trying to see the GP to explain how you feel.
For now, I would ignore the housework and gardening. Give your daughter a hug and do something today that will make you both happy!
Good luck.

tortoiseonthehalfshell · 09/08/2010 08:39

Worrywarts, I did a quick search on your other posts but only quick, so I'm really sorry for the question - are you still pregnant? You seemed to be having a very difficult pregnancy, and that can't be helping.

Original poster
worrywarts · 09/08/2010 08:40

yeah I'm off AD's cos I'm pregnant, early days so far, 10 weeks. Loads of problems early pregnancy. bad sickness. and tiredness. (Well compared to DD)

When Im tired everything feels so so so bad. But I think I need a quiet day today, busy weekend and all that.

I had a really good day the other day. I guess its pregnancy hormones. I need sleep!

OP posts:
tortoiseonthehalfshell · 09/08/2010 08:43

yeah I'm off AD's cos I'm pregnant, early days so far, 10 weeks

Aaaaaaahhhh. Right. You poor thing - I saw your threads about spotting but it wasn't clear what the outcome was.

Don't compare yourself to anyone else at the moment, you're in first trimester of a really rough pregnancy, you're recently off the ADs, of course it's going to be hard. You're not rubbish, and you're not a crap parent, you're just going through a tough time. Do you have a supportive partner who can step up and do the housework until you get a bit of equilibrium back?

Original poster
worrywarts · 09/08/2010 08:43

Yeah tortoise, there have been a few problems, sickness, bleeding, other health problems, I suffer from anxiety quite badly too.

I think the hormones have sent me a bit off really.

Plus, we were away all weekend, and all I had was junk and sugar, which makes me feel anxious and crap anyways.

I'm ok really, thanks for your replies, I'm going to speak to the midwife when I see her.

Just so scared about having another baby and feel totally unprepared for it!

OP posts:
Original poster
worrywarts · 09/08/2010 08:48

My poor DH is out from 8-6, working 7 days this week, we have loads of debts, live in a tiny flat, no room to swing a cat (nor a todder or a baby) ok. thats a bit of a lie but it is small!

I'm not working at the moment, we've only recently got back together after breaking up twice, we are happy together now, and all settled back into married life again (marital blip, I'm calling it) but everything, the whole breakup, being a single parent for 2 yrs, suffering badly from anxiety whilst on my own and the rest has taken it's toll. And now there's another baby on the way.

I always wanted to be a mum and loved being with my DD when she was a baby, but then everything went a little crazy and it's taking a while to get back on track.

And now not even a straightforward pregnancy.

Sorry I'm just feeling sorry for myself.

OP posts:
Headbanger · 09/08/2010 08:51

Oh, poor you! You're not feeling sorry for yourself: that is an extraordinary amount of things to be dealing with at once. Hope you can look after yourself until you're feeling better able to cope...

LoveMyGirls · 09/08/2010 08:54

It's awful when you feel like that Sad

The very first thing I would do is put some music on something like

Have you got anyone that can come for a cuppa this morning? I always find inviting someone round kicks me into action if I'm feeling unmotivated.

Also amazing what a difference just going round with a bin bag, putting washing in the basket and doing the washing up makes and would take less than 20mins and then reward yourself with a cuppa.

It helps to get out as well so a walk to the park, trip to town or even a walk to the shop can lift your mood.

Hope you feel better soon.

Original poster
worrywarts · 09/08/2010 08:57

Thanks lovemygirls.

I have a friend popping over later so I'm going to get up and get some washing on, get showered, get DD bathed, wash up, tidy up, hoover front room, put away DD's toys.

I'm psyching myself up now and about to put music on as well!

OP posts:
LoveMyGirls · 09/08/2010 09:00

You could ask your dd to put away the toys, make it into a game, see if she can do it before the timer goes off on your phone and then she could get a sticker or a sweet or tv on as a reward?

ZZZenAgain · 09/08/2010 09:01

music always helps me too and I think doll yourself up a bit, if I do that even if it sounds superficial it makes me feel more inclined to face the day

LoveMyGirls · 09/08/2010 09:01

I dare you not to laugh at cameo in his red underwear over trousers combo!

Original poster
worrywarts · 09/08/2010 09:03

He looks hotttttttttttttttt

OP posts:
tabouleh · 09/08/2010 09:47

worrywarts - have you heard of www.flylady.net?

You need to take it easy - babysteps to build up routines.

You can speak to your GP about anti-d's which are suitable during PG.

Alicetheinvisible · 09/08/2010 10:04

Worrywarts Sad sorry you are feeling so bad.

I don't know if you are aware of the slattern 'story' but here you go;

The thread was started by a well known poster going through a rough time. Depressed, it was a good day if she managed to get out of bed and feed her children. By writing a list on here she would get someone giving her a bit of support and if she managed to have a shower and brush her teeth as well as having children fed then that was a very good day. The thread grew as lots of people struggle with the day to day stuff, and seeing a list with things ticked off (even if they were only; Get up, get dressed, get DD dressed, breakfast) would help motivate them to get other stuff done.

Some peoples lists look very daunting as they have ongoing tasks on there, but these are often just reminders of things that need doing 'one day'

We are very supportive on there, and always welcome new posters and encourage them. Why not give it a try.

(This has taken me aaaages to type so apologies if there are huge x posts)

Original poster
worrywarts · 09/08/2010 10:10

Thanks, I didn't mean it to sound horrible, I just felt so rubbish when I realised people accomplish a lot more than me in a day, and I've only one child.... but now i see the background information of the list, it makes much more sense to me now.

I'm up now, not showered, but I've bathed DD, done the washing up, hung some washing on the airer, tidied the front room, all whilst trying to ignore the anxiety!!!!

And I have music on. I don't care what the neighbours say!

Small step for me, giant one for my mind...

OP posts:
ComeWhineWithMe · 09/08/2010 10:11

Worryworts - sorry you are having a bad time :(.

Slatterns are lovely they helped me so much through my entire pg and the early days after I had dd and was struggling.

I don't use Slatterns as much now but they really helped me, I had such a bad year with depression and everything was getting on top of me and these lovely ladies were always there with either a hug or a kick up the bum Grin.

It is just helpful to see a list of things you have done and have a bit of support along the way.

Hope you feel better soon.

Headbanger · 09/08/2010 10:37

Gosh, now I feel guilty for having called the Slatterns thread bizarre - my apologies Blush.

I had taken it as a sort of manic-house-pride thing, but what a fab idea. Sorries again, if any Slatterns are reading!

Rocklover · 09/08/2010 10:41

I feel a bit the same worrywarts. I'm 15wks pregnant with dc2 and have my dd (5) at home for the summer holidays and sometmes it overwhelms me. I suffered from severe anxiety for over a year, came off the ads in Jan this year and I feel like the pg has turned me upside down again. Horrible nausea, feeling generally unwell and I find it hard to get out of the house.

I feel immensely guilty for not taking dd out more and I'm relying on dvds far too much to entertain her. I find mornings are my worst time and I feel so scared that the anxiety and panic is returning. Although I can't offer much advice, just wanted to symapthise and let you know that you're not alone in finding things difficult.

Alicetheinvisible · 09/08/2010 10:50

Headbanger - meh, either you get it or not, lots of people find it bizarre. We can be a bit touchy as someone started a thread taking the piss a while ago, but generally we just accept that either you are a slattern or not!