to read the slatterns threads and then want to sob

[worrywarts]

:(

can't even get myself out of bed
dreading another day with dd (i always thought i'd find motherhood easy, I always loved kids, but since having one it's like i dont even want to be around children)

:(
Housework to be done
Gardening to sort out
Poor DD she loves me so much and I feel so rubbish

Alice, I am a slattern, but a lazy one - if I had any self-discipline at all I'd probably join in!

Isn't it funny how the Slatterns threads and FlyLady threads have all been interpreted as being mad-houseproud-Milton-wielding-nutters when they are all threads for people who have trouble keeping on top of the housework and of life generally. People who are very houseproud don't need threads like that!

It's like assuming a Big/Slim/Whatever thread is peopled by skinny-minnies.

true though!

worrywarts would it make you feel better if I said you have done more than me today

I haven't been on AD's so don't know a lot about them, but from friends and from people on here I have learnt that there are AD's that can be taken during your pregnancy, but some Doctors seem to insist there aren't - I would ask again and go to another practice if you don't get anywhere with your DR. I would imagine that coming off AD's whilst battling with pregnancy hormones, let alone the school holidays, would daunt most people. Don't feel bad about it, just see what you can do to get some suitable AD's

worrywarts, are you me??

I have an almost 4 year old, a 7 month old, a DH that works longish hours and am stuck in a tiny flat till we have enough money to get out of the fixed rate mortgage and stump up a deposit.
We also had a "marital blip" (good name for it BTW ) Ive suffered on and off with depression but refused AD and had quite a bad alcohol problem, which although im tempted some days I seem to have a handle on it.
Im having a bad day today, just had a fit because DH has gone to work with my bank card so im now pretty much stuck in this stupid tiny flat all day, ive stuck DS in front of a DVD and have just this minute rocked DD off to sleep, hopefully DS wont wake her up this time.
There are days when I feel like walking out and leaving it all.

Sorry to offload my woes on you when you have your own, just wanted to say you're not alone.

Rocklover and Amazing, funny isn't how you think you're the only one and then you find that you're not the only one going through similar crappy situations!

We are stuck here too, can't afford a deposit elsewhere nor do we have enough equity in the property.

I think depression and anxiety are much underrated - it's like any other debilitating illness, only this one is much more invisible to the outward world, just eating away at your own mind.

I have good days and bad days. I really don't want to go back on the AD's, only because coming off them was so bad and because I want to try and sort it out. It makes sense that the situations I've been through have caused all this, but in some ways that just seems to be too easy an excuse?

Although I do know that when I took AD's, they were the only things that helped me with the type of anxiety I was suffering from.

I'm going to try and be healthy, no sugar, caffeine, processed foods etc, which is very difficult when you have Morning Sickness and want to eat white bread and carbs all day long :(

BTW I hope your days get better both of you :)

be kind to yourself, and once you get into second trimester, if you still feel so bad then review the ADs position. hopefully the morning sickness will go in a few weeks time.

re:food. dont try and do too much at once, especially if you are struggling physically and mentally. nowt wrong with wholemeal toast and marmalade as a quick pick me up. and biscuit wise - avoid cream filled biscuits, go for plainer ones like ginger or for lower fat ones like jaffa cakes.

thanks for your kind words.

Total, I spoke to you once before under a different name, it was quite a while ago I think. And you were a big help about dealing with anxiety/obsessions etc. (don't out me though if you remember me!!!!)

I've got some salty pretzels, plain crackers, rice cakes, and I"m going to get some sugar free spread like Bonne Maman or something similar - thanks for advice will take on board.

I'm under a consultant - is that the same thing? Sorry to sound thick

No I don't think I do remember you under your other name anyway, so no worries. yes, I think SAF means a consultant obstretician/gynaecologies. IME though, the consultant obs/gyn referred me on to a psychiatrist to prescribe medication when I had problems in pregnancy, she didn't want to be the one to make that call iyswim. Different areas may work differently though. Obs/gyn got me an appointment within 2 weeks to see the psych.

worrywarts sorry you're feeling bad.

I know what you mean about the Slatterns posts, sometimes I thought how on earth do people manage to do THAT much?!

when you're depressed just getting out of bed is an achievement let alone anything else.

a while ago some of us MNers with PND/depression etc had a thread where we'd post our daily achievements. even if it was just eating breakfast! we could do that again if you're interested, I know I'd find it helpful!

I've had CBT and it was great BTW.

Worrywarts I was coming on to give the background of the slatterns thread but Alice has beaten me to it.

I was also daunted by the the thread when I used to see it, but lurked for a while and used it as a basis to improve my own days before I joined in.

After ds was born I really struggled, he did nothing but scream and I spent my entire time tryign to get him to shut up-I couldn't even think.

I managed a load of washing most days but that was it, the dishes were piling up and we were eating ready meals/toast/kfc.

I gradually started to add one thing at a time to my daily routine, did that until it became easy then added another. So I did a load of washing and cooked proper dinner. Then a few weeks later I did a load of washing, cooked proper dinner AND managed to get showered first thing.

I still wasn't brave enough to join slatterns until I had a mad panic clean to do (think I had guests coming or something), posted my list on slatterns and they were so welcoming, cheered me through my list and were generally supportive. I've never looked back with the lists and now my house is usually ok for people to see without too much notice, or effort.

FWIW your earlier list is as much as some of us post in a day and ticking it off and having people to chat to along the way does somehow keep me motivated.

Don't be put off by the length of the lists-look at the actual 'dones' instead