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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

drawing on walls in house.

55 replies

mumbar · 08/08/2010 21:54

OK I'm well aware this will come across as judgy so I'm setting this disclaimer now. I am not judging was just shocked and wondered whether its my standards that are too high?

Best friend away with hubby and dc's 5&6 and I'm house/ pet sitting.

Ds was playing upstairs and I went up to get him and was genuinly ed to see that older dd 6.7 has drawn and written all over the bedroom wall and ripped lots of the paper off. I do know the younger one 5.2yo has a habit of drawing on things as I visit often. Actually she'd drawn in her mums passport which caused problems before they left.

Now I appreciate that children experiment and some write on walls.

I would hit the roof if I caught ds doing this and would probably bin all his crayons (or at least ban them for a long period).

Is my judgy or acceptable? I would be interested to hear from parents who let their dc's do this. I don't want to ask my friend for fear of offending her when it's just general curiosity.

AND a WWYD if you then caught your dc joining in with this drawing on a visit? -hasn't happened yet but if it's accepted as OK should I let him carry on and just explain I don't want it done at my house?

OP posts:

faeriemoo · 08/08/2010 21:58

Nope, I'd be shocked too. If one of my kids was found writing on the walls (which DD2 has on occasion) the pencil is removed, and the wall is cleaned. Your friends house sounds like it's a case of the child regularly graffiti-ing and being reckless.

QueenSconetta · 08/08/2010 21:58

YANBU - I would go mad if DD did this (although not currently as she is only 8.5 months).

Possibly a bit judgy cos your friend can do what she likes in her own house but wilful damage and disrespect of things would not be on in my house either.

I would go with the different house different rules option if DS joins in.

mumblechum · 08/08/2010 21:59

DS did this once and once only. He got such a telling off.

Some people don't seem to care, though.

Each to their own.

Original poster

mumbar · 08/08/2010 22:04

yeah I except each to their own - hence not wanting to bring it up with my friend. If I found ds doing it too what should I do. I am asking this as he's the kid who always does what others do regardless of whether he knows its wrong or not. (but thats another thread!)

OP posts:

mumblechum · 08/08/2010 22:06

You should definitely tell your ds off. How are they supposed to know what's unacceptable otherwise?

faeriemoo · 08/08/2010 22:07

If I found any of my children doing it in anyone else's house, they'd get the same punishment as they would in mine, regardless of the other mother's opinion.

Vallhala · 08/08/2010 22:08

YANBU.

I just don't understand why anyone would allow their child to write on the walls.

Original poster

mumbar · 08/08/2010 22:08

yeah thats what I would want to do. So far he has never done it at home - that I remember - but I'm just concerned that it would come across as judgy to my friend if I caught him drawing on her dc's wall and said something - think I'd have to be very careful how I worded it!

OP posts:

thefirstmrsDeVere · 08/08/2010 22:15

I never had a problem with this til DC4. He is a terrible wall scribbler. It a flipping compulsion and I hate it.

I do tell him off. Before him I thought it was all down to discipline. Now I realise that some children are more prone to it than others.

I hate torn wall paper and drawn on walls. Have you noticed that most of the houses in Nanny 911/Supernanny/worlds worst family (ok made that one up) always seem to feature walls that are covered in crayon?

SalFresco · 08/08/2010 22:16

Are they planning to decorate soon? My nieces were allowed to draw on the walls in the run up to a big redecorate!

faeriemoo · 08/08/2010 22:19

"I hate torn wall paper and drawn on walls. Have you noticed that most of the houses in Nanny 911/Supernanny/worlds worst family (ok made that one up) always seem to feature walls that are covered in crayon? "

And no sheets!

kickassangel · 08/08/2010 22:20

loads of kids attempt this - when they're too young to differentiate between floor, wall & paper. but beyond the age of about 4, i would expect them not to. (unless sn etc) however, it is there house, so if it doesn't bother them.

in fact, if it did bother them, but kids that age were still doing it regularly, i would wonder more at what was going on.

when i was young, my dad was decorating the hallway, and there were bare walls ready for the new wallpaper to go up. my mum said we could draw on them one rainy afternoon. so right where visitors could see from the door, we did pictures of mummy & daddy with no clothes on ....

my dad was one of those people who would spend forever getting diy done, you know, a whole weekend getting the paste right, checking lighting levels etc. my poor mum, she spent weeks opening the door a little bit, then trying to sedge herself so that people couldn't see in, with me & my sister yelling 'look what we drew'

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 08/08/2010 22:23

I made DS1 (aged 5 at the time) repaint the bits of the walls he had drawn on. He soon got the message.

thenumberseven · 08/08/2010 22:32

This reminds me of a question asked to a child aged about five in a Spanish TV program. In the program the presenter asked the children random questions and this particular child was asked if he knew what a troglodyte was and the child said "yes, people who lived long ago and their mums let them paint on the walls" :)

pirateparty · 08/08/2010 22:36

As a child, I had a friend who had a wall in her house dedicated to the children's 'art'. We loved it, but I can't remember ever doing it at home as I knew it was something we did at her house, not at ours.

Original poster

mumbar · 08/08/2010 22:36

lol at nanny 911/ supernanny walls.

Thats actually made me think I am currently decorating my bathroom and have promised ds his room can be done next and he wants a high sleeper so I could discuss decorating ds' room and see where that leads.

TBH her dc's are very - vocal - so perhaps if she's planning to decorate maybe it is a pick your battles thing.

Mindyou this will be out of ds' earshot as Ive told him he can have it how he wants it and he's asked for 2 pink walls, 1 yellow, 1 red and a blue ceiling

OP posts:

Sidge · 08/08/2010 22:37

Hell no!

My house is not a blank canvas for my little budding Picassos. They can draw on paper. Mine have never drawn on a wall and I would go ballistic if I caught them scribbling on walls or furniture in mine or anyone's house.

Each to their own, but not in my house.

edam · 08/08/2010 22:38

Maybe your friend is allowing her ds/dd to drawn on their own bedroom walls in order to stop them drawing elsewhere? I dunno what the compulsion is but I do remember aching to draw on the walls in my house when I was little. Seemed SO unfair that I wasn't allowed to. (Actually I did, but only in pencil and on a painted wall that could be wiped. And I finished my artwork with 'I love Mummy' so she couldn't be too cross.

spiderlight · 08/08/2010 22:42

This has just reminded me that I was allowed to draw/write on the wall inside the cupboard under the stairs when I was a kid. Gone all nostalgic now!!

blueshoes · 08/08/2010 22:44

I would not let my dcs draw on the walls on our or anybody's house. That would be beyond the pale.

Never had a child come into my house who tried to.

megapixels · 08/08/2010 22:48

Some people don't seem to mind. I don't think it's something horrible, upto the parents I suppose, as long as the children are taught that it's not acceptable anywhere else. We have friends like that, the mum is a professor at Oxford (don't know why I mentioned that, just to show they're not idiots I suppose!) and not only have the children covered the walls but even the carpets upstairs are full of paint splodges and crayon marks as they are allowed to draw on that too. I couldn't live like that, but I don't think there's anything wrong if others don't mind.

greenbananas · 08/08/2010 22:50

Acceptable on some houses and not in others. Fair enough to let your DS know it's not acceptable in yours.

It's pretty much acceptable in my house, though I might discourage it to prevent it happening in other people's houses as well. I have left hideous anaglypta wallpaper on our walls (painted it clean, re-touchable white) in full knowledge that kids will cover it in crayon at some point and I can redecorate when they're older. However, DS and his friends have been incredibly restrained so far. At 22 months, he has only ever drawn on paper or on his own clothes. I am almost disappointed!

makemeacupoftea · 08/08/2010 22:51

I'm still haveing the urge to do it.

I recommend the purchase of a big roll of end of line cheep wall paper to draw on, and painting the lower half of the wall so it can be used as a black board in kids bedroom.

Set them lose out side with chunky chalks.

You draw on walls because there's no where else to draw on.

To maybe make the child understand art boundarys use the example of someone elses drawing on one of there drawings to demonstrate why its not cool.

Dont stop, it channel it!

julybutterfly · 08/08/2010 22:53

My DS has written his name and practised his writing on the wall beside his bed in biro a few times....doesn't bother me to be honest (maybe because it's nice tidy writing rather than giant marker pen type writing!). I'm more bothered by the fact that he picks his nose and then wipes that on the wall to be honest

makemeacupoftea · 08/08/2010 22:59

july
When I caught my daughter doing her first drawing on the sitting room wall at 14 months, I painted a frame round it.

Obviously she was taught to never do it anywhere else.

But I cant condemn what I have enjoyed.

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