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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that not going out every Friday and Saturday doesn't make you a loser?

34 replies

flibbertigibbert · 07/08/2010 23:02

I'm 24 years old and I tend to go out every couple of weeks or so on a Friday or Saturday. I enjoy going out but I'm also happy to stay in with DP and have a pizza and watch a film and cuddle on the sofa.

There seems to be an attitude amongst a lot of people my age that you're a loser if you don't go out and spend £50 on alcohol every Friday and Saturday night.

My lodger just brought a friend round for pre-going out drinks and she said 'oh are you not going out tonight?' And gave me a pitying look. Grrrrr. So please reassure me that I'm not boring and prematurely middle aged for not going out every single week.

OP posts:
LaundryLyne · 07/08/2010 23:04

YANBU at all :) It is up to you how often you go out, not for anyone else to comment on. Do you also have other friends/aquaintances who are less judgemental?

expatinscotland · 07/08/2010 23:06

how do they afford this? at that age i was married and we had to pay rent on our flat. we were also into climbing and used weekends to do that so we didn't go out on the piss often.

plenty of people here that age have kids and don't have £££ for that.

Tippychoocks · 07/08/2010 23:08

Well I am a bit of a loser so cannot comment Grin
But I'm warning you, it will continue. Most of my friends are a couple of years older than me (31), parents, mortgages etc and go clubbing/drinking twice a week. They have responsible jobs and are normal in every other respect but their desire to spend Friday and Saturday nights stuck to a manky floor in a rural dive of a nightclub getting shitfaced with 17 year olds.

I however have just re-discovered the BBC Pridge and Prejudice dvds and will be Staying In.

Tippychoocks · 07/08/2010 23:08

That would have read Prideand Prejudice if I could type.

Original poster
flibbertigibbert · 07/08/2010 23:10

expat - most friends are single and living in rented flats. Rent in London is hideously expensive so I have no idea how they afford it - I don't pay rent but still couldn't comprehend spending that much each week on drink and getting into a club.

OP posts:
Original poster
flibbertigibbert · 07/08/2010 23:11

Tippychoocks - A bit of Colin Firth on a Saturday night sounds lovely Grin

OP posts:
mumeeee · 07/08/2010 23:11

YANBU. You don't need to go out every Friday and Saturday night. Also it's more responsible not to go out every weekend and spend £50.

Tippychoocks · 07/08/2010 23:14

If any other loser wants the loan of them you're welcome. I have rediscovered my 1990s crush.

toffeecupcake · 07/08/2010 23:17

hmmm, colin firth, yes please Grin

SaorAlba · 07/08/2010 23:25

I'm also 24. DP and I have a mortgage so is much rather spend my time in the house we're paying for than on going out. I reckon I've been out twice since the beginning of June, and one of those was a hen night.

As long as you're happy don't worry about what other people think!

DorotheaPlenticlew · 07/08/2010 23:35

Going out is soooo overrated. I'm 36, but even when I was 21 I actually hated pubs and clubs. I went anyway, but only because I was massively insecure (same reason I shagged around far too much, often after an evening spent 'out' somewhere 'fun' with 'friends').

At 22 I met dp and immediately felt much less inclined to waste any more time going out to stand on sticky floors shouting over music just for the sake of it. Staying in or going to friends' houses is 1,000,000 more interesting.

DorotheaPlenticlew · 07/08/2010 23:37

1,000,000 times, I meant (realize it is Frowned Upon to self edit posts but it made no sense)

FindingMyMojo · 08/08/2010 00:09

when you are working, single and living in London there is ALWAYS money to go out.

You're not a loser. I spent a decade too long going out.

fairycake123 · 08/08/2010 00:14

Of course it doesn't make you a loser! If it's what makes you happy, it's the right thing for you to be doing - and the pizza/sofa/film combo sounds pretty rocking to me (although I'd probably opt for some shameful reality tv, personally...).

Tee2072 · 08/08/2010 06:38

I think the only nice thing I can say about going out to a club on a Friday or Saturday night is; at least they aren't full of cigarette smoke any more.

Otherwise, they are horrific.

gtamom · 08/08/2010 07:44

Yanbu. Some people like going out and some don't.

PorphyrophillicPixie · 08/08/2010 07:50

Ah! Ditto! I'm 21 and get the same. Is it wrong to just want to curl up with a good book? Or a nice movie?!

StealthPolarBear · 08/08/2010 07:51

This is part of the reason why I hate going to the hairdressers
The 17 year old with perfect make up and hair inevitably asks "So are you going out tonight"
The 30 year old with baby sick covered clothes and hair that's generally brushed and that's the best you can say about it replies "no, not tonight" which is met by silence and a pitying look.
Can you imagine the response if I'd replied "No I thought we'd have tea, stack the dishwasher and mop the floor (yes mop) to the sound of background screaming, then spend a couple of hours doing bath/pyjamas/teeth/bed, then collapse on the sofa - with a glass of wine if we're feeling festive, with a basket of laundry to sort if not - infront of a 15 year old American sitcom we've seen about 100 times before and exchange about 10 words with DH before we both decide to go to bed, separately at about 10pm. And then up again shortly after 5"?

BUT in 5 years this should all be getting easier for us just at about the time she'll be in the thick of it

jbells · 08/08/2010 07:56

im 25 and i have been out clubbing once this year and even then didnt enjoy it my friends have stopped bothering to try and get me to go out now lol, i see people with young babies going out every weekend and i honestly dont know where they get the energy from afta working and looking after dd 16 months by the time it gets to half 9 im falling asleep on the couch watching a good film or lost :) i know i sound old b4 my time tho hehe

DorotheaPlenticlew · 08/08/2010 09:00

SPB: I so recognize your post. That's basically why I've been going to the same woman to cut my hair since 1997; she doesn't do the 'are you going out' crap. She is about to go on adoption leave. I may not bother with haircuts until she's back.

In our house there's still a basket of laundry on the wine nights Grin

3Trees · 08/08/2010 09:14

I haven't been out like that for well, basically since not long after I got pg.

but maybe I am a loser!

3Trees · 08/08/2010 09:14

(we think we're having a good night if we get pizza delivered and watch a dvd)

DinahRod · 08/08/2010 09:16

How provincial

nannynick · 08/08/2010 09:16

At 21 I was out most Fri and Sat nights but I was out at other peoples homes, caring for their children whilst they went out on the towm. That income helped me save up enough deposit to get a mortgage for a flat.

These days I find there is a lot lot less demand from parents. Either I'm too old or parents are not going out as much.

herjazz · 08/08/2010 09:19

Yr on mumsnet not bebo. Can't see anyone here thinking yabu for not wanting to go out every single weekend ;)