to refuse to accommodate the grandparents?

[CheerfulSoul]

I have a three bedroomed house and two kids. After the second one arrived and moved out of our room into the nursery, the first one moved into what was the spare room. Now we no longer have a spare room, which used to accommodate the grandparents who live 200 miles away.

AIBU to refuse to juggle the kids around? No one will get any sleep if we put one in our room. They can't go in together as the baby still has a night feed. And I don't particularly want to relinquish our own room and sleep on the floor in the living room.

I'm currently making the grandparents pay to stay in local accommodation when they visit, even though they're retired and are not earning. I feel guilty about making them pay so I offer to cover half the cost. AIBU?

Having said all that ^^

I utterly loathe and detest staying overnight in other people's houses, and will always stay in a hotel if I can.

I just can't compromise on space etc, bathroom issues, sofa beds.

So if I was granny in this scenario I'd happily stay in the local travel inn.

Why would you be shocked Tee? It is out of the question for my inlaws to sleep on an airbed and we don't want them wasting money on a hotel room when they are more than welcome to stay with us.

DH and I are young and fit, we can handle an airbed for a few weeks. Would be impossible for FIL.

Even if I wanted to (and I don't) I couldn't ask my mother to stay at a hotel. It would just be wrong. She keeps a room in her home for all us kids to go home to at any time.

We have a tiny two bed cottage and 2 small kids (and another on the way) - the GPs stay on a foldy bed in our sitting room (we have offered our bed but they decline). I think with a 3 bed house you should be able to sort something out.

Tee, presumably your folks gave you a bed for quite a few years. And a home, food, education etc. And LIFE, and all. But yeah, totally unreasonable for you to move your ass to another room for a few nights.

You've totally convinced me.

Horrible thing to do - make them sleep in paid accomodation. I think you should feel ashamed of yourself. Easy enough to get an airbed for you or them to sleep on, and fold away after. I think your attitude reeks of selfishness.
YABU

We have a (very small) three bedroom house and three children. All our parents live quite far away so they always stay overnight for at easlt a cojpel of nights when they visit - we either offer them our bed and sleep on the sofa bed in the baby's room or move the baby's cot into our room and give them the sofa bed. It's a PITA as we don't get a good night's sleep plus our bathroom is tiny but I would still rather that that tell tehm they weren't welcome.

SIL always made her parents stay in a hotel - I was always rather shocked as it jist seems so inhospitable.

how about a sofa bed?

just seems so obvious i can't believe op hasn't thought of this.

seems a bit harsh to refuse to accomodate them.

if you offer them a sofa bed and they decline that is different

We always shared bedrooms when people came to stay. Kids can, and should, bunk up together when a spare room is needed.

When I was a kid, my bros and I would sometimes have to move in together for months, whilst some itinerant arty friend or other needed somewhere to live for a while.

You can do night feeds quietly or take the baby into your room for the feed. Your older child will get used to it very quickly particularly if you don't turn it into an issue.

I think YANBU if you offer to pay for their accommodation in full, tbh.

Otherwise I think you should certainly offer them your bed - if they then decide (as my parents did when the dc were babies) that they'd have more chance of an undisturbed night at a local hotel, fair enough & paying half the cost sounds quite reasonable.

YUBU.These poor people are your family. Your children would not be here if it wasn't for them. Nothing will happen to your children if they have to sleep with each other or you.How selfish! Give them your bed and sleep on an airbed yourself and be kind.