to refuse to accommodate the grandparents?

[CheerfulSoul]

I have a three bedroomed house and two kids. After the second one arrived and moved out of our room into the nursery, the first one moved into what was the spare room. Now we no longer have a spare room, which used to accommodate the grandparents who live 200 miles away.

AIBU to refuse to juggle the kids around? No one will get any sleep if we put one in our room. They can't go in together as the baby still has a night feed. And I don't particularly want to relinquish our own room and sleep on the floor in the living room.

I'm currently making the grandparents pay to stay in local accommodation when they visit, even though they're retired and are not earning. I feel guilty about making them pay so I offer to cover half the cost. AIBU?

Why not bring the baby in with you?

With the best will in the world, stop being a prat.

yanbu. If your house is pretty small then it might be nicer for the grandparents to stay somewhere else and not end up cramped in your house. I wouldn't ever have guests in our small 3 bed - one loo, tiny kitchen, tiny dining room table.

YABVU
Every one of my dc and dsc has happily given us their bed.Immediately after births we have slept on airbed on floor of living room-otherwise they do.
I am so glad you are not one of them [we have 5 and 9 dgc].

I don't think this is real. Sorry.

Oh my, YABU.

Your post just gave me a whole new perspective on my current situation so I thank you for making me see how I am being unreasonable too about "sleepovers" with my stepsons.

Thank you and please just let them have the baby's room and be grateful you have GP's who care (my IL's live 5 mins round the corner and could not give a shit about--never see our son)

Don't be such a bitch.

OK, OK, I get the message! We will put the kids in together and, if that doesn't work, sleep in the floor ourselves.

Thanks - I think I knew that I just needed a kick!

And there's no need to be offensive.

God I didn't think you were being that unreasonable Cheerful, if it's any consolation.

Cos its not offensive to leave your auld pair out in the cold while y'all spread out?

Don't be so touchy.

YABU

Unless they've said that's what they would prefer. But from the sounds of your post, it isn't.

We live in a small 3 bed with 2 children. If we've had one person stay over they stay in DC1's room (single bed) and he goes on the ready bed in DC2's room. Or if two people, we move DC1's bed into DC2's room (very tight squeeze) and put the blow up double in DC1's room. Really no big deal, and love having people over to stay.

Also would like to echo what others have said about the example you're setting to your children.

Do you get on with inlaws?
Do you like them?

My mil has to stay in b&b due to our turbulent relationship. And her interfering ways. etc....

So maybe you are not bu??

Cross post.

Nice one CheerfulSoul

CheerfulSoul - glad to see you have seen the error of your ways

When I was growing up I gave up my room for my Grandma and either slept in with my brother or my Mum. 'Tis what families do I think.

That being said both my Grandmothers were widowed so they only needed a single bed but whenever I have had family stay or stayed with rellies we all bunk up.

None of this having a guest room or sending to a B & B.

So EVERYONE has their kid's GP's stay with them? No matter how small your place? And what about GP's who are heavy smokers?

Not the same thing at all.

I have a 2 bed tiny house and 3 children. I would have my parents to stay, but they're dead.

I have had heavy smokers stay in my house. They don't smoke in my house or near any open doors or windows. Because they are friends and/or family and know that we don't smoke.

We are in a 2 bedroom flat and are always budging up to squeeze in relatives from Oz, it is the price we pay for living in the middle of London.

Nice one OP for changing mind.

If its any consolation, I worried about this when staying with parents recently for 3 weeks - had to have kids share a room, nearly, 2 and a half year old and 7 month old. And with jetlag.

Was worried would wake each other up, 7 month old was having a dream feed or night feed depending whether we dream fed, etc.

But it worked out fine. I had all sorts of misgivings but it was no trouble.

So dont worry and well done for rethinking.

Let me tell you right now. If I had kids, they'd be shacked up together to make room for granny and no way would my backside be touching anything named EKTORP or similar Scandinavian torture bed.

Get the kids to sleep together. If they don't like it, boo hoo. It's childhood.

Adults need space and comfort, kids don't. I used to sleep on a clapped out mattress with no springs, put straight on the floor.

NDMAH.

For what it's worth OP I don't think you're being that unreasonable.

We have a similar situation here. We have 3 bedrooms but all of them are tiny. Our main bedroom can just about accomodate a normal double and a side table, the spare room a single bed and our 3rd bedroom is just a small study.

After our DS was born we converted the spare bedroom into his nursery (it was suggested by my parents that we keep the single bed in there for their visits and give DS the study instead - but we decided that wasn't fair on DS as he will be using the room as his many more days than my parents will be staying over). Now I am just about to give birth to 2nd DC and space will be even more limited. Currently my parents visit separately so we put a blow up single bed in the study.

We can't give up our double bed as DS still co-sleeps with us and I feel that it's not safe to do that on a blow up bed in the living room. Also lots of light flood into the living room and DS will have trouble sleeping there anyway.

My parents only come up for a couple of nights (about twice a month)so it's been OK so far, although it's not that comfy for them to get up from a blow up bed.

My mum will be coming up to help me for a couple of weeks after the birth and now we've moved DS's nursery temporarily into the study and put up a single bed in the spare room so that my mum can sleep in there more comfortably.

We are just not in a position to offer my parents our bed as in the last couple of years we've been co-sleeping with a baby and then I've been pregnant again.

I feel a bit rubbish about some of the comments made so far, but unless you've been in a similar position you don't know how cramped it can be when you have people over in a small house.

My DH would much rather my parents stayed in a hotel and is always moaning about their visits. His parents on the other hand always stays in a hotel when they come up, so I think he thinks why can't my parents do the same. But his parents still work full time and mine are retired.

I am going to totally disagree with everyone else on this thread.

YANBU. Its your house and your bed.

My mom and step dad come over from the States. If we didn't have an extra room? They'd happily stay in a hotel.

We do happen to have an extra room and probably always will since we are only having one child and live in a 3 bedroom flat (and I won't even live in less than a 3 bedroom domicile in my life again, too cramped), but if we don't? Hotel it is.

In fact, when my mom and step dad were here for my son's 1st birthday in June, they had our spare room and my PIL took a hotel room.

I don't give up my bed for anyone and am shocked that people do this.

Flame away. I'm going to bed anyway.

PIL prefer to stay in a hotel as they quickly learnt how early the DC wake up.

However there was always a bed for them here regardless of how tricky my relationship with them is - they are my DHs parents and my DCs grandparents and therefore always welcome in our home.

We don't have a spare room but we shuffle beds round to accomodate whoever wants to visit us.

Sorry OP I see you've seen reason.

Enjoy the visit.