to really wish my dog loving friend would stop giving me advice on parenting my HUMAN child.

[PinkyMe]

So I am probably about to offend every childless dog owner out there but hopefully they will remain oblivious.

When I was pregnant my friend kept comparing my pregnancy to her dogs and giving me advice. Funny as it was it did begin to wear thin.

Now, if I tell her my dd did something funny or slightly mischievious, I am immediately bombarded with a whole load of dog dicipline techniques.
If she's ill, I get a list of homeopathy she uses on her dog.

I feel like screaming my dd is not a dog for goodness sake.

She's invited us round to see her new puppy, but the invite came with a written list of instructions on how my dd is to behave while at her house. I'm not joking, it says, "she will be allowed to pet the puppy, but she must sit on the floor and let the puppy come to her", "Visits will only be allowed btwn X and X", and goes on.

We have politely declined the invite.

there is a reason some people have dogs instead of kids!

PMSL though...

does she wear a tweed skirt like Barbara Woodhouse used to as that is the image you have put in my head.

Genuinely she is probably trying to be helpful in the only way she can but I don't know what to suggest you say to her - I just couldn't read and run with the image of her (dressed like Barbara Woodhouse) going up to your DD and saying SIT

My mother had 3 children and over 100 dogs n her life. She naturally brought us up in the same way as her dogs.

BeenBeta - SIT

Barbara Woodhouse definitely! PMSL

To be fair there is an awful lot of crossover.

Lol.

Who was it on here who said that raising small boys was akin to looking after dogs?

I think instead of being so smug and patronising you should be grateful that she is putting some thought into how her dog and your child will interact - this is for your child's safety afterall and sounds like good guidance generally for your child in learning how to interact with dogs.

I hope I never get so smug and self opinionated that I lose the value that I have for the unbiased perspective of my childless friends.

Could it be BoysAreLikeDogs?

Smug and patronising? Sorry, I know we are all animals, but babies are not dogs.

opps think you have offended already.

Several people on here have compared toddlers to labradors (IIRC)

To be fair, there are definitely similarities between by 2.6yo and my parents Border Collie (they get on very well too )

But OP - YANBU :)

I think she means well but it would bug me too, esp the list of instructions. Can't she just talk to you about how to best introduce your child to a dog? The written list is a bit much imo. I would also be inclined to point out that dogs and children are not the same and so homeopathic remedies that are fine for her pooch, may be detrimental to your child. I think her behaviour is a bit strange tbh

I might get lynched here but never mind

I bought a puppy when I was pg with DS1 and I was like your friend, I warned visitors how they were to behave with the puppy - but that was for a reason.
The puppy was very rambunctious and dangerous to toddlers, he didn't have an 'off' switich and would sometimes bite!!

He's now 4 and a model dog, incidentally, but I was like it for his protection and also the toddlers, maybe your friend is the same? Puppies are unpredictable!

I also raise both my boys the same way I raised the dog, except I don't give them rawhide treats

If you mean me i'm not offended - just never understood why my opinion is worth more now that I have a child than it was before I did. No sleep and a screaming newborn/overactiv toddler are not always great for perspective. Also there are plenty of children around whose parents clearly did not have a clue on how best to raise them - perhaps some of them should have listened to dog owners! I just think the op's friend is trying to be responsible and if she is being a little over-zealous with the written instructions she is only following what most of the popular tv/book dog trainers tell you to do.

Disclaimer - I have cats not dogs. (cats raise themselves - not thought of testing that on lo)

What shitforbrains said.

Okay, the comparisons between dog and child might be tiresome, although I'd have no issue myself. But the list of "instructions" are clearly for the benefit of the safety of two living creatures - your child and your friend's dog. What's wrong with that?

She does sound a bit annoying, but things like
"she will be allowed to pet the puppy, but she must sit on the floor and let the puppy come to her" are actually quite sensible - that sounds like she just really wants to make sure your DD's first experience of dogs is positive.

Has you DD managed the "SIT!" command yet?

I would say YANBU, but don't feel I can as am sat here looking at DS (9mo) who has just sat down to watch the telly with one of his shoes in his mouth after a radiator-licking session...

tch, DS has mastered sit, stay, down and paw, they are so basic!

Now if only I could get him to stop crapping on the lawn and wiping his arse on the carpet

Sounds like your friend would be an excellent mum if she wasn't childless. She obviously cares for and researches her pets, and is possibly only using her experience with her pets because she feels there is some crossover and because she daren't, as a childless woman, have an opinion on your child without the validity of some sort of experience, as I think her opinion by itself wouldn't weigh with you atm.

I remember being ever so offended by my brother when my DP and were first ttc, (still ttc unfortunately) because he said that "You don't know anything until you're a parent." I've been a nanny, looking after 3 at once, and a teacher. No, I'm not a parent, yet, but my opinions are still worth something and so are your friend's.

what honeywitch said

YANBU she sounds barking

I don't think YABU at all. Speaking as a childless dog-owner, it is tempting to chip in with puppy training tips when my friends are talking about their kids but I do manage to restrain myself! It sounds like your friend does care for her dog enormously but it is possible to differentiate between a little person and a little hound.

I would say that the instructions about your little person meeting the puppy sound sensible - I always make sure my friends know how their kids should behave around my dog but that's just to avoid any chaos or misunderstandings. I am really conscious that I don't want a child to be stood on or knocked over by my bouncy dog and likewise, I don't want a child to pull his whiskers or stick their fingers in his eyes because they think he is an animated cuddly toy.

However, I usually try to have a tactful chat rather than issuing written instructions.

I have to say I am still laughing at snugglejunkie's post - radiator licking!!! Thought it was just my crazy labrador that did that!!!

@ VT

My boys are quite like puppies, both the 6yo and the 4 month old. At the park 5-6 year old boys even tumble just like puppies do.

Very simple creatures I find, you keep them fed and watered and rested, show them lots of affection and consistent discipline and you are just fine.

Much like husbands really.