to really wish my dog loving friend would stop giving me advice on parenting my HUMAN child.

[PinkyMe]

So I am probably about to offend every childless dog owner out there but hopefully they will remain oblivious.

When I was pregnant my friend kept comparing my pregnancy to her dogs and giving me advice. Funny as it was it did begin to wear thin.

Now, if I tell her my dd did something funny or slightly mischievious, I am immediately bombarded with a whole load of dog dicipline techniques.
If she's ill, I get a list of homeopathy she uses on her dog.

I feel like screaming my dd is not a dog for goodness sake.

She's invited us round to see her new puppy, but the invite came with a written list of instructions on how my dd is to behave while at her house. I'm not joking, it says, "she will be allowed to pet the puppy, but she must sit on the floor and let the puppy come to her", "Visits will only be allowed btwn X and X", and goes on.

We have politely declined the invite.

Well, Morloth, even at the age of 34, my husband of 12 yes is still obsessed with Marvel/DC comics, his playstation/Wii/X-box 360/computer/PSP/Nintendo DS, as well as having trillions of the tiny Games Workshop models for tabletop war-gaming.

I'd say he's STILL pretty much a little boy, but also one big enough to put the bins out and do the occasional bit of DIY - when he can fit it into his busy schedule!!!

Think your mate did you a favour personally - a lot of kids don't know how to treat dogs (nor do a lot of adults for that). Nothing wrong with a few rules - makes sure that your lo doesn't get an unwarranted nip and the dog doesn't get unjustly disciplined for defensive behaviour that prob wasn't it's fault, therefore leading to a healthy happy adult dog who knows how to behave around kids (and vice versa).

I can see why you are slightly offended, but hey, that dog IS her children. Why wouldn't she want her child as respected as yours?

She's probably sat at home on a dog website moaning that you don't think her dog is as good as your child and how she is fed up of you recommending baby paracetamol when her dog is ill.

All kidding aside, it's probably a bit much. Love my dog, love my child, but know the difference and treat accordingly!!

"I feel like screaming my dd is not a dog for goodness sake"

I think you should..... Honestly!

Has anyone ever seen Rachel flipping Ray? she is some kind of Oprah protégée...

Anyone comes on her show mentions children, or as they say over there kids.. Up she pipes with her flaming dog analogies...

So scream away OP, you are right and if it offends, so be it, she is BARKING (VT got there first )

And actually anyone who inserts pets into conversations about human babies is bonkers too.

Children are not DOGS/CATS/PETS... and vice versa.

Mind you it might be fun for a parent to suggest human child ways to such pet people to discipline their pet...

Naughty step for a minute for each year, they can't get down from the naughty step until they have apologised.

Star charts?? for pets???....

Grounding said pet for the most serious of disobedience, removal of TV, computer, gameboy rights.....

She sounds a bit bonkers giving her dog homeopathic remedies - surely the placebo effect can't work on animals.

Puppy training techniques are extremely effective on toddlers.

I am not even joking.

As doting parents we run the risk of barbling joyfully to our toddler about how "terribly important it is to stay near mummy, darling, because the road is extremely dangerous and I would hate for anything awful to happen to my cherub-chops mwahmwahwah"

Whereas what the toddler needs, and the puppy trainer recognises as important, is short clear statements ... "Stay here, Tallulahbelle. Sit down."

yy colditz

The "instructions" actually sound quite sensible, but the rest of it would be beyond annoying. Even if you told a fellow parent a story about something "funny or slightly mischievous" that your child had done it would be deeply irritating if their response was to offer you discipline suggestions, given that's not what you're asking for. The fact that in this case they are dog discipline suggestions only makes it more annoying.

If the OP were asking the friend for discipline suggestions or medicine tips then I think she would be being unreasonable to object that the friend related her suggestions to her dogs, but in this case it seems fairly clear that all the advice is unsolicited.

My cleaner is childless and has a horse and she often compares my children to her horse doing things too which I do find a little

She also often makes comments about them that I think are slightly inappropriate but I put it down to the fact that she doesn't have children so just doesn't know what it's like really, like "you wouldnt believe the wee sometimes around your ds toilet, it's disgusting !" (he is 4yo) and when I commented the other day that "kids have been driving me a bit bonkers this morning!" she said "yeah they drive me bonkers too!" (said very sincerely !)... they are 4 and 2 so it can be a little bit mad in my house sometimes but still.... only I'm allowed to say that !

Anyway, that's going off the subject a little bit but yes I agree it is slightly strange when people compare raising their pets to raising children

YANBU at all
I told a friend of mine once how very hard it was when one of my sisters was killed in a car accident. She told me she understood how I felt because their family dog had died.

I do rather like the idea of suggesting star charts, naughty step, pasta jar or withdrawal of TV privileges next time she mentions anything about something one of her dogs has done. Or Calpol if they are ill. Preferably in the same kind of completely-unsolicited-advice situation.

Well as father of two boys I have to say fed, watered, well excercised and a good sleep is the best way of getting any sense out of them as indeed it is with a labrador.

YANBU, i don't think the invite and it's list of, probably quite sensible, instructions was the start of the problem. I can remember being sleep deprived and barely sane when my (very broody) friend got a puppy, suddenly she could totally relate as everything i was going through had a dog equivalent, even teething! needless to say, he was sleepless for a week before he got used to his basket, DS1 took a little longer than that to sleep through! (and yes, she used the term 'sleep through')

I have a dog and children, I train them all the same way or I get confused!

awww she's all P F D ... how sweet

Er.. Mo dog had a naughty step when he was puppy.

The laundry. It worked. :)

Dogs/boys. No difference in the early years, as they get older you'll appreciate the dog and the dog will appreciate you.

Unlike the children

The list was good, and very thoughtful. You're being a tad unreasonable and unappreciative there.

But the homeopathic medicine for dogs and the failure to appreciate funny stories about the baby would be upsetting for me, too.

I think YAB a tad U, as well. There actually are plenty of similarities between training a puppy and bringing up a toddler! And, maybe she could have been more diplomatic but the DD advice was sensible.

Wrt medications: It might be worth pointing out that DD and Puppy have different metabolisms, being different species ... or just listening to her as if she was talking about her dog, not your baby. Radical idea, huh?

Agree with honeywitch - if you don't have children, you're often not allowed to pass any kind of opinion at all about anything to do with babies. I've been told more than once that I won't really understand what love means until (if?) I have a child.

However, as a puppy owner, I'm quite familiar with the frustration of toilet training a non-verbal baby, and of being woken up by hysterical howling in the middle of the night. Am very familiar with poo, in its myriad colours and consistencies, and of the pressing need for keeping chewable stuff off the floor.

I can see how you'd find it annoying, but don't be mean to your friend. You don't know whether she wants a human baby of her own - the fact that she makes a comparison with your experience suggests that she doesn't think of her dog as 'just' a dog...

What HOneywitch said is correct. But having an opinion and feeling the need to share it are 2 differant things. If the OP had said another parent instead of a childless doglover was giving her loads of advice on her DC i woudl have thought that both should probably keep her mouth two.

that the woman should keep her mouth shut too..

I am very tired . and can not unset mumsnet from the very small writing.

it's when the comparisons involve death that it becomes really horrible - that must have been really upsetting numberfour.

have lost count of the times I've been told about someone staying up all night with their puppy/kitten and comparing it to a newborn (sorry wildfig). yeah right

I remember a friend of ours coming round to see ds1 and our new kitten - neither of which he had seen before. guess which one he ignored completely?

Alouiseg, oh how true! (Dog owner and mum of teenagers here).

sanfairyann, I've been guilty of fussing the dog and ignoring the child too.

I've also found myself greeting a dog which I've met in the street and then realising that I hadn't said hello to the person on the end of the lead.

Morloth

My two boys are behaving increasingly like puppies.

Thank goodness they are still so cute I compare them to Andrex labradors.

I have a friend who is going on about her CAT in the same way your friend is going on about her dog.

I think children have less in common with cats than dogs, to be honest.