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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to knock on a stranger's front door and say...

46 replies

juicychops · 05/08/2010 10:39

'hi, you dont know me but i used to live in this house i grew up here from the age of 4. the house was sold 5 years ago when i was 20 but due to the circumstances i never got to say goodbye and lately ive been thinking about the house in which i grew up. would you mind if i had one last quick look around just to say goodbye and get some closure?'

would you consider this creepy? or would you be happy to let me in for a 5 min look?

OP posts:
Poledra · 05/08/2010 10:41

I'd think you were a bit barking, TBH. It's only a house. But then, my parents still live in the house I grew up in, so I don't know how I'd feel about it being sold.

I might suspect you of casing the joint, though.

Monty100 · 05/08/2010 10:41

Erm, I'd be a bit suspicious without proof iyswim, but if I was convinced I'd be more than happy to let you.

ben5 · 05/08/2010 10:41

i would take some old photos with me to show them how it was. my mum and dad did this a few months ago and they were fine

Monty100 · 05/08/2010 10:42

I would understand as well, would love to have a walk round my childhood home.

Do you have any childhood photos you could show them? They might like that.

abbierhodes · 05/08/2010 10:42

I'd write first, so that you're not 'popping in' at an inconvenient time or putting them in an awkward position.

bumpybecky · 05/08/2010 10:42

I might be happy to let you look around, but would worry about the mess!

If I were brave enough to doorstep them I think I'd turn up with flowers.

Knowing me though, I'd pop a note in with my phone number. I'm not good at being brave!

bran · 05/08/2010 10:42

I think it would possibly be better to pop a note through the door with a contact number on it. If you knock on the door it puts the owner on the spot a bit, and could seem intrusive.

wishingchair · 05/08/2010 10:44

My dh did this when we went to look at the house he lived in as a child in another country. They were v.understanding and interested. Think it depends on the neighbourhood though!

GeekOfTheWeek · 05/08/2010 10:44

I think its rude.

A note first would be slightly less rude.

SwansEatQuince · 05/08/2010 10:45

We have had previous occupants of this house asking to see the house once more. The house was, of course, like a bomb had hit it but it was a lovely surprise.

I have a picture of my mother standing at the door of the house that she was born in (which is only a few miles away from here). It was one of the last pictures taken of her and she always said that her life had gone a full circle.

So, YANBU juicychops and yes, I would invite you in.

Colliecross · 05/08/2010 10:46

I would think you were casing the joint. Childhood photos would convince me though.
I remember being terribly sorry FOR THE HOUSE when we moved as children. I thought it would feel we didn't like it any more - I was 12

Threelittleducks · 05/08/2010 10:46

I would love to do this. I pass my childhood home all the time and am dying to nose about. I even have dreams about it. It's like it calls to me!! (sad I know, but we moved a LOT when we were young and this was my grandparents home where a lot of my happiest memeories dwell. Was the only constant in my life.)

Just do it. All they can say is no - and you might end up being really satisfied as a result.

EasilyConfusedIndith · 05/08/2010 10:47

I think it would be fun to have someone who used to live in my house come round, I love hearing stories about people and places

FindingMyMojo · 05/08/2010 10:47

I've been back to a house I grew up in (age 7 - 18ish). The people were lovely and invited me in. I felt very emotional entering the front door & blinked away tears. I didn't get to see my old room though. Go for it.

Poledra · 05/08/2010 10:50

Childhood photos - now that would help convince me you were not one of these and I'd probably let you in ( as long as you hadn't called at mealtimes ).

BreastmilkDoesAFabLatte · 05/08/2010 10:50

Someone did this to me once... and I let them in thinking it was lovely It didn't occur to me to be suspicious (though I was utterly skint at the time and had nothing whatsoever to steal)

Iloveclimbinghills · 05/08/2010 10:52

We often have people stop to ask us about our house, well not often as in all the time but it happens. I don't mind at all and find it fascinating. If you wanted to look around I would ask in a letter first.

sapphireblue · 05/08/2010 10:53

I'd want some advanced warning so I could tidy up the pigsty!!! A note through the door with your contact number or a phone call if you can get their number rather than just turning up IMO.

BalloonSlayer · 05/08/2010 10:57

I have let one person who used to live in our old house in to have a nose (but they still lived in the same street so I knew them). I think it was my suggestion. The house had changed so much she was a bit freaked and I think she wished she hadn't.

I was talking to a woman I know vaguely recently outside our (now) house and she said it used to be her Grandparents' house and she had many happy memories of it. I invited her to come in and have a look round but she was worried it might make her feel upset. Probably would have done, her GPs were probably really neat and tidy people

I guess a complete stranger might make me think but if they had a photo I'd trust them.

DivineInspiration · 05/08/2010 10:58

I think it would be more polite to pop a note and your number through the letterbox first. With notice, and if I believed you were genuine, I probably wouldn't mind letting you in for a look around and a chat.

I think it would be rude to just knock and request to come in. They might be busy, or not in the mood for visitors, and it could come off as a bit suspicious as well. It would be putting the resident on the spot a bit.

NorbertDentressangle · 05/08/2010 11:02

We had an old man turn up not long after we moved into our house.

It was quite sad actually as he'd lived here with his wife and her family when they first married about 60 years ago. His wife had died in the year or so before he came to look at the house and he'd come to sprinkle her ashes on the common where we live.

DP saw him standing by the gate looking at the house and got talking to him.

He came and looked inside although the house had changed drastically and we were mid-renovation at the time.

He told us some lovely stories about when they lived here but there wasn't a dry eye in the house by the time he finished

nowherewoman · 05/08/2010 11:03

If it was me, I'd be embarrassed because I probably wouldn't have tidied up, but I'd be interested to maybe hear a bit about my house's history.

NorbertDentressangle · 05/08/2010 11:04

Sorry, I got so caught up in the emotion of that post that I forgot to add that I agree that if you have some photos etc take them but also, be prepared for them to be suspicious and not allow you in

mustrun · 05/08/2010 11:06

Someone came to collect something I'd put on freecycle once, and her and her Mum came together, because she used to be childminded here when she was little, and the Mum wanted to see the place again . Altho I ws a bit sad because she was telling me about the fantastic old fireplace that used to be in the kitchen, all ripped out now
The very nice thing was, the daughter was collecting our old cot, so her baby was getting something that came from a place nostalgic to the family, iyswim. I like things like that

cumbria81 · 05/08/2010 11:13

I have always, always wanted to do this at my childhood home (which, bizarrely, is only a stone's throw from my current house) but I think they'd think I was a nutter.

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