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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think its irresponsible for my OH to leave our 2 yr old downstairs on his own?

705 replies

YummyMummy1208 · 05/08/2010 09:47

Argh!

I'm so angry with him rite now and generally since our little boy was born cos he just has no clue how to watch him properly but if i ever have a go at him its 'oh shes off again...' and switches off.

Is this just a general 'men' thing??

Thismorning is a prime example, hes been taking over morning duties of late due to me being 7 month pregnant so thismorning he takes DS1 downstairs and then i can hear him saying 'So r u gonna stay downstairs and be a good boy while Daddy has a shower?' now forgive me if im being unreasonable but surely im not the only one here thinking you dont leave a 2.5 yr old downstairs - on his own - while u go upstairs to have a shower??

Whats everyones opinion on this one - Am i being unreasonable to have a go at OH??

OP posts:
Original poster
YummyMummy1208 · 05/08/2010 13:16

No StarlightMcKenzie i would be so amazed he actually went and bought something himself to baby proof the home that i wouldnt care what colour/shape/size it was!

Im just generally tired of having to step in, and u say i shudnt so does that mean i shud watch my son hurt himself rather than step in and prevent it from happening?

Im not sure if i could do that?

OP posts:
BoysAreLikeDogs · 05/08/2010 13:16

ugh yes indeed Yellow

Original poster
YummyMummy1208 · 05/08/2010 13:18

MIFLAW piss off and grow up.

Your opinion is not wanted in MY thread!

OP posts:
StarlightMcKenzie · 05/08/2010 13:19

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LadyBiscuit · 05/08/2010 13:19

I see this discussion has moved on but YABU

BoysAreLikeDogs · 05/08/2010 13:19

oi oi OP

you really can't dictate who posts where if you don't mind

StewieGriffinsMom · 05/08/2010 13:20

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Original poster
YummyMummy1208 · 05/08/2010 13:20

No one has answered the Q regarding being 'allowed' to use MN abreviations but not txt abreviations?? how does that work?

how is it ok to write 'my OH' and 'MN' but not 'how r u' etc?

the way i type has fall to do with this subject. i cant believe this is being flagged up. get with the times people

OP posts:
unfitmother · 05/08/2010 13:20

YABU

It sounds as if you both neeed to grow up. Your attitude is unbelievable, you asked for an opinion but only want one that agrees with yours i.e. misandry.

Please keep text speak for text messages.

YellowDaffodil · 05/08/2010 13:20

MY thread - do you take that attitude with OH?
Poor chap - it may be that he needs to pull his socks up but if you really believe he is a danger to your DS get rid and organise supervised access!

OrmRenewed · 05/08/2010 13:21

"so does that mean i shud watch my son hurt himself rather than step in and prevent it from happening"

Yes. As long as there are boundaries and his environment is safe, that is the best thing to do. I'm not advising him juggling with knives obviously or drinking bleach cocktail . There are horrendous accidents that result in major injuries or death, but they are in the minority. Most accident result in a bump, a few tears and a bruise that lasts a few days and hopefully a lesson learned (by the child that is not DH!) That is why you need to make your home a little safer, not so DH can be lazy, just so that all of you can relax and let your son begin to learn for himself.

BonniePrinceBilly · 05/08/2010 13:21

Perhaps if you let him do some thinking for himself he might be quite good at it, but from the sounds of it you have never allowed him any active parenting role. Big surprise then he's not very good at it.

And if you stopped contradicting yourself completely you might get better responses. So far you don't have any locks, you have them but haven't fitted them, you had them and they broke, or you can't afford them. Which is it? Can't all be true.

And writing "dem" and "rite" and so on just makes you look like a moron that can't spell.

StarlightMcKenzie · 05/08/2010 13:22

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knickers0nmyhead · 05/08/2010 13:22

Again, nothing to do with your age! The reasons have already been outlined.

And dont say I am stereotyping you because of it, because I am YOUNGER than you, and grew up with text speak, but now I am an adult, who think of others whilst on an ADULT forum.

knickers0nmyhead · 05/08/2010 13:22

Again, nothing to do with your age! The reasons have already been outlined.

And dont say I am stereotyping you because of it, because I am YOUNGER than you, and grew up with text speak, but now I am an adult, who think of others whilst on an ADULT forum.

MIFLAW · 05/08/2010 13:24

"grow up"?

You are on here, suggesting that only boys can use screwdrivers and only girls can think about children, and you have the tmerity to say that I need to "grow up"? My daughter is the same age as your son - if, 10 years from now, she's still thinking along those lines, I'd be ashamed because I would feel it reflected badly on me as a parent. And you're 24 and a graduate? Bloody hell, what is actually wrong with you?

BoysAreLikeDogs · 05/08/2010 13:24

knickers you are making me laugh with your trigger finger on the post button

StewieGriffinsMom · 05/08/2010 13:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
YummyMummy1208 · 05/08/2010 13:24

i havent once written "dem"

OP posts:
kickassangel · 05/08/2010 13:25

what starlight said.

you need to resolve this, otherwise you won't last as a couple once the baby is here. you have to trust him with your ds, or you won't be able to look after the baby.

it sounds like generally you don't think he's involved enough - money, care, time etc. he thinks you expect too much.

there are various things you can do to sort this out, but you need to sort it our. there will be another baby here soon & it will be about 4 or 5 years from now before you can relax as parents & things get better. can your relationship survive 4 years of this?

btw, it is totally normal to feel like this - lots of people do, but it is not normal to allow it all to fester & develop - you have to lay the emotion aside & talk through it calmly. you prob both have some accusations against the other & will have hurtful things to say, but you have to learn how to put yourselves in the other's shoes, and then reach a compromise.

lifeas3plus1 · 05/08/2010 13:26

For what it's worth, I'm 24 and know how to type properly.

See I was brought up knowing how to write properly. So age has nothing to do with it.

It's just laziness really.

MIFLAW · 05/08/2010 13:26

Sorry - tEmerity.

Must stop using this text speak ...

Original poster
YummyMummy1208 · 05/08/2010 13:26

95% of responders on here are being completely horrible and so i have no reason to want to change my writing style to suit other people. On every other thread i have contributed in this has never arrisen as a problem and so i think some people are just being picky pointing it out on here. I havent asked anyone to participate in this discussion so if the way i am typing offends you then feel free not to respond.

OP posts:
Casmama · 05/08/2010 13:27

I think you have just come on here looking for an argument. If that is how you are generally then yes I feel sorry for your other half too.
Consider how you are going to cope if/when you do emigrate your relationship needs to be stronger with better communication if you are going to cope.

knickers0nmyhead · 05/08/2010 13:27

BALD, it is this crap phone