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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think this woman could have helped me?

41 replies

thelennox · 04/08/2010 21:24

Right, was off buying shoes in our local store today - well known high street one. In our town the childrens dept is up a rather long flight of stairs - no lift. I had ds1 (9), dd (4) and ds2 in the pram. He is 5 mths and was fast asleep. Went into shop and assistant said to me you can leave pram down here. Said I couldn't really cause baby was sleeping so I would prefer to take him up. she very kindly agreed to grab other end of pram and help me up the stairs. We bought the school shoes, spent considerable amount of money, everyone happy, and then I asked if someone could help me back down with pram. Assistant upstairs said "oh no, I can't do that its against health and safety." And then proceeded to watch me as I spent 5 minutes struggling down this huge flight of stairs, with my tiny 9 year old (he honestly looks like we starve him) saying I'll help you mum!!! It was probably even more dangerous with just me doing it. Am I BU?!?

OP posts:

MaudofallHopefulness · 04/08/2010 21:26

No you are not. I'd have been tempted to get a refund on the shoes and flounce out (as fast as I could, bashing the buggy down the stairs and giving DS whiplash).

compo · 04/08/2010 21:27

Yanbu

but I've got a bad back so if I'd have been on my own in the shop I'd have helped you but might have put myself in danger iyswim I wouldn't have said no because you'd have thought me rude
or maybe she was newly pregnant and worried about damaging herself
or had ms and didn't want to say

just saying.....

Maisiethemorningsidecat · 04/08/2010 21:27

So it's not against H and S to lift a pram up the stairs, but it is to help you down again? Very odd. No, YANBU - this was Clarks, right?!

loopyloops · 04/08/2010 21:27

No, YANBU, surely the childrens shoes dept should be on the ground floor?

yousaidit · 04/08/2010 21:27

Yes, definately i usually start a mammoth huff and puff, starting with the 'if i leave my pram and dc here and you will take full responsibility..? No you won't? Right, up we go than' line, and then assume and demand some one will help you back down, coz if there's no lift but child stuff up steps, i see it as a stores responsibility to help the shopper and children products are designed for... bollocks to health and safteym, if its that much of a problem the manager can shift the stock around!!@

TheButterflyEffect · 04/08/2010 21:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Bingtata · 04/08/2010 21:28

Ooh I wonder if it was our local one, they let you store the pram under the stairs, but obviously not if there is a sleeping baby in it.

Maybe you could have waited until your baby was awake to go to the shoe shop so no one was struggling with the pram. I suppose you could have asked for her to get the other assistant to help you again, I don't see why they thought it was reasonable to help you up and then refuse to help you back down again! That is abit stupid.

NonnoMum · 04/08/2010 21:31

You're not on the South Coast, are you?

In my town, one of the three kids' shoes shops has the kids' shoes upstairs...

DH has something similar happen in there and now we won't use it.

Apparently they think it is easier to get prams upstairs than wheelchairs for our high population of older people.

Double frustrating that they helped you UP though.

CouldOfWouldOfShouldOf · 04/08/2010 21:31

In theory, YANBU, but shops have ridiculous rules, and she perhaps couldn't have helped because of them.

I know you were helped up, but that was maybe the Mangager?

I have to say, I became an expert in getting DD's buggy up and downstairs , (and made sure I had a buggy I could manage alone) when she was small, the way I saw it was that you have to be able to do it alone, though if someone offers, great.

How big is your pram that even a small 9 year old can't really help?

Original poster

thelennox · 04/08/2010 21:31

I did consider the flounce and the huff, but was honestly so relieved that for once we had gone in and they had some actual shoes in the right size for both children. Ususally a two or three week process with my lot!!! And yes Maisie - it was Clarks. And in my town people over 60 take total precedence over children, so it is obviously much more reasonable to make people bump prams up and down stairs. And she def wasn't preggers cause she must have been same age as my mum - although I totally take your point about bad back/ms etc etc. But couldn't she just say that? I felt a bit sorry for the girl who helped me up the stairs - hope the other assistants didn't give her pelters for helping me.

Glad I'm not considered totally unreasonable

OP posts:

mazzystartled · 04/08/2010 21:32

yanbu
crap to have no lift (surely discriminatory)
outagreous to be helped up but left to struggle once you'd paid up
snotty email required

SlartyBartFast · 04/08/2010 21:32

you need to write and complain; how ridiculous having children's department up a flight of stairs!

nancy75 · 04/08/2010 21:34

i am slightly torn by this, as a mum who has had to drag a buggy up and down stairs i understand how frustrating it is, but as an ex shop manager i am well aware of the blame/sue culture we now have. if she had helped you and tripped/let go of pram and your child had been hurt there is a chance you would sue, that is why they are told not to do it

compo · 04/08/2010 21:34

Yes our clarks has kids shoes upstairs
there is a lift but it's a teeny one

Original poster

thelennox · 04/08/2010 21:34

Couldof - I can manage most places and most sets of stairs - just that these ones are exceptional in the sheer number of them, and there are three different turns. Its a bebecar ip-op so is actually pretty handy at most things. Maybe I should go in and ask to practice lots!! Would be good for the abs.

OP posts:

isittooearlyforgin · 04/08/2010 21:36

think there is discrimation laws that prevent access difficulties for wheel chair (and therefore pram users)

isittooearlyforgin · 04/08/2010 21:36

and if there isn't there should be!!

Original poster

thelennox · 04/08/2010 21:36

I know there is that culture now isn't there? And its sad because I tend to take reponsibility for things myself and would never blame someone else if they were trying to help me. But alas - I am sure there are a hundred different rules about what they can and cannot do, as there are with everything nowadays.

OP posts:

Poledra · 04/08/2010 21:39

How odd. When our local John Lewis was having work done a few years ago and their lifts were out of order, there were a couple of assistants stationed at the stairs to lift prams up and down for you. I didn't even have to help - the two blokes said they preferred to do it between the two of them.

A letter of complaint to the shop about stupid layout might well be in order........

Gleeb · 04/08/2010 21:40

Rules my arse. If she didn't want to/couldn't help herself she could have found somebody else in the store for you who could.

Original poster

thelennox · 04/08/2010 21:40

Hmmm, think I am off to draft my letter of complaint - think I might get a free pair of shoes!?!

OP posts:

Original poster

thelennox · 04/08/2010 21:44

PS I love John Lewis. Why can't all shops be like them?

OP posts:

Chooks · 04/08/2010 21:46

It is against health and safety... I used to work in a shop with no lift to the second floor. It was an old building and the regulations are only in place for buildings buit after a certain year. It's not compulsory to put one in if the building is old (AFAIK).

It was against the rules at our shop because of an incident where a small child was seriously injured after falling out of the pushchair whilst being lifted by a member of staff.

I do agree that it's ridiculous to have childrenswear on a different floor to ground level if there isn't a lift though.

2shoes · 04/08/2010 21:48

yabu
I wouldn't risk my bacvk, so why should a shop assistant.

snowmash · 04/08/2010 21:50

Wheelchair users could ask for reasonable adjustments in the form of the shoes being brought down - might be worth a go in future?

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