to think this woman could have helped me?

[thelennox]

Right, was off buying shoes in our local store today - well known high street one. In our town the childrens dept is up a rather long flight of stairs - no lift. I had ds1 (9), dd (4) and ds2 in the pram. He is 5 mths and was fast asleep. Went into shop and assistant said to me you can leave pram down here. Said I couldn't really cause baby was sleeping so I would prefer to take him up. she very kindly agreed to grab other end of pram and help me up the stairs. We bought the school shoes, spent considerable amount of money, everyone happy, and then I asked if someone could help me back down with pram. Assistant upstairs said "oh no, I can't do that its against health and safety." And then proceeded to watch me as I spent 5 minutes struggling down this huge flight of stairs, with my tiny 9 year old (he honestly looks like we starve him) saying I'll help you mum!!! It was probably even more dangerous with just me doing it. Am I BU?!?

snowmash - that's what we did at the shop I worked in. Bring down a selection of items, or on occassion if we were quiet, Mum's would ask to leave pushchair with sleeping child with us whilst they nipped up, not everyone would be comfortable with that though I'd imagine.

but i thought all shops were meant to be wheelchair accessible. so why no lift??

some shops can't be made wheelchair accessible. there are places that i have worked with 2 floors which do not have the room for a lift or would require such massive building work that the company would not do it. as far as if a shop was fitted/built before a certain date then they do not have to have a lift/ramps. most stores do put them in when they refit.

I agree that it is often a case of worry of being sued that prevents people helping in this situation.

Got to love JL though. What a great solution. Set two strapping attractive men at the stairs to lift prams up and down. That would have boosted their customer numbers.

Think it is quite an old building tbh slarty. Snowmash - does sound like a good idea for next time. If he had been awake, I would just have scooped him up and left pram downstairs, but just because he was sleeping and so young didn't really feel comfortable.

YABU as has already been said she could have had back problems/ ms/ a disability and why should she tell you? I'm 26 with a curved spine and arthritis and it actually gets frustrating and embarrassing answering other peoples questions. If it had been me I probably would have blamed health and safety too seeing as if my condition was bad it would be a h&s issue.

I understand the frustration but expecting a shop assistant to give you intimate details or risk their health is a bit much really.

The clarks in Oxford is the same, kids on first floor, steep curved stairs no lift. When my youngest was a baby I didn't go in on my own as I can't manage to lift the pram due to disablility, now he is older I stach the pram downstairs by the till however it has happened that ds has been asleep when we have been in for shoes for dd and on that occation I asked for the range of childrens shoes to be brought down to me and I did my shopping on the ground floor no problem, sometimes you just need to be pushy enough to insist.

Yes, couldn't they have shown you their catalogue and then brought shoes down for you?

This is most bizarre. It's almost a sales tactic (cynic in me, but....) that they'll help you up the stairs, but not down again, like once they've got your money they couldn't give a shit about the rest. If they had refused to help you up the stairs as well, I would still be saying YANBU, but I would've seen their perspective as well. But to help you up there and leave you stranded/to cope on your own....? That's just awful. So YANBU at all IMO.

well, to be honest, when ds was that small, and a good deal bigger, I managed to get him up and down all sorts of stairs and escalators...usually by picking the buggy up with him in it...not to say its not annoying, but help is not obligatory...blame the store and H&S, not the hapless sales assistant who doesn't want to get into trouble. Or maybe get a buggy you can lift easily.

I don't even know why it happened- I thought all shops had to be accessible, and that the staff had to help you if there were mobility issues?

Bof, legislation often depends on the age of the building...and the size. And H& S for employees is a minefield for employers..you can't ask them to do anything outside of their normal duties, especially if it carries a risk of physical injury...mad? perhaps...but also I think its important for people to realise that their needs are not always paramount, even as customers. Employees have rights as well, and carrying heavy weights might well be beyond many staff's physical abilities Small babies in buggies might be easy to heft up and down stairs for the parent, but not always for staff, and certainly it is not reasonable to expect it.

its not ideal, but its not the end of the world either.

I agree, however, that it is short sighted of large chains not to install lifts if at all possible for customers.

FWIW, I jump up in down in panic if Imy staff carry an overfull bus tray down the stairs...cos it leaves me open to all sorts of action...

YANBU to be annoyed, especially as you had help getting up, but it is possible to bump a pushchair downstairs anad ultimately it's your responsibility - help would be nice, but it's hardly a right. It seems pretty silly to have kids shoes upstairs with no lift though so if you want to complain I'd focus on that rather than the staff member who didn't want to do something she didn't have to.

If you can't get help next time, I would just park yourself in the adult's section on the ground floor and ask nicely that they bring the children's shoes to you......if they object juts explain what happened last time.