to expect my good friend to be more enthusiastic/politeabout our new house?

[notasize10yetbutoneday]

DH & I have bought a new house which needs complete renovation/redecoration, which we are in the process of doing. We have re-decorated both bathrooms, the hall,stairs and landing and 2 of the bedrooms so far.

We had 2 of our very good friends (a couple) round for dinner last night and showed them the house, which they hadn't seen since we first bought it (ie they hadn't seen the renovations).

Im now feeling really quite upset- irrationally so I know-as my friend (the woman of the couple)just was very lukewarm indeed about the house and the work we've done on it, despite knowing what a big deal it is to us. She even made what I felt to be a couple of barbed comments about the new bathroom, saying "Its different- very striking and "its not the kind of thing i thought you would have gone for".

Just to put it in context, the bathroom is tiled with grey tiles and dark grey tiled floor- not luminous pink with yellow spots or anything!!!

I feel so upset by her lack of enthusiasm about this and the rest of the house. Its not like I expected them to walk in, and fall to their knees in awe or anything but I feel really affronted, and that they could have been a lot more enthusiastic or at least polite, even if something isn't to their taste. Their house isn't my taste, as its very, very minamilist, but whenever they have had something done to the house I always ooh and ahhh over it- as I know they like it and its the done thing, surely?

tbh I'd be baffled at being expected to comment on someone elses' bathroom decor if the first place, and probably say something inappropriate. I've only been put in this position once, and all that sprung to mind was "well yes it's now an altogether nicer place to have a sh1t in" but fortunately I did manage to keep my inside voice and outside voice separate on that occasion.

Tokyo and Sonic, the thing is, its not like I dragged them both upstairs to go over the new decor with a fine tooth comb, they come over for dinner, DH offered them a drink and her exact words were "Ooh no, show me round first". So yes I could totally understand lack of enthusiasm if I had forced them to inspect the bathroom but it was quite the opposite!

I find it very hard to get enthusiastic about this kind of thing. Think my eyes would be glazing over after the first ten mins.
It doesn't really matter what others think though surely?
Why dont you just enjoy your house. Sounds like you've worked really hard on it.

Imagine the typical bloke in Ikea... "oh that's nice" is about the sum total of their repertoire... some people don't "get" interior design and what I mentally call house porn - personally I'm a Grand Designs and Phil and Kirstie addict and can enthuse renovations for hours - but some people can't.

We moved from a tiny rented flat into a rented house - were really proud we'd found somewhere light and airy - then my stepdad came around and all he was interested in was the exact number of stairs we had... just how he is! (Oh and the size of the shed... why is it men are obsessed with sheds?)

YABU to expect validation of your project from a friend. Especially if she has her own fixed tastes. I agree she could have pretended to like it to be polite. Just take this as notice that you actually dont have to ooh and ahh over their house next them they redecordate, just make a bland comment (to go with the bland decor!!!)

Ive got rather used to one of my friends coming round to my house, getting drunk and saying exactly what he thinks of the many changes we are making to our house (some less than complimentary). Ive started to enjoy the debate and call him [his name]lewellyn bowen ...

Have you been a house bore 10?
Have you gone on and and on about the renovations, and how fab they are and how much they cost and then she feels distinctly underwhelmed?
No?
Then she's just rude

My husband (who is not British) tells me that showing the house, including the bedrooms and bathrooms, is a peculiarly British cultural tradition. He never knows what to say if someone asks him if he'd like to see the house (especially given that it's an order really, not an invitation). In his culture, as a guest, you sit in the room you are shown into, and perhaps visit the bathroom and that's it. Having said, that, it is our culture and so she should have been more enthusiastic. It's like when someone shows you a picture of their new boyfriend or grandchild, you just have to say 'how interesting/wonderful/handsome'. It's a social nicety.

Well, it sounds like she didn't like it (not surprisingly, as you have different tastes), and had a go at pretending that she did, and wasn't very convincing. You're better at pretending that you like things than she is. Doesn't seem much to get upset about. That's life, really, isn't it?

I do think that while integrity is an excellent quality there are perhaps more significant matters over which to insist on sticking to one's values. Being shown round a house really shouldn't cause people such emotional angst that they can't come up with something nice to say.