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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have shouted at this old man?

50 replies

littlemefi · 03/08/2010 13:32

Was in supermarket with dd, nearly 1 in the trolley, and kept nearly running into an old man with a trolley who was shopping in the fruit and veg aisle at the same time as us.
He seemed to be stopping next to all the frit and veg that I needed, and then one or other of us would go to move off, and nearly bump into the other.
I was polite and a couple of times said " after you" to let him move on before me.
The last time we both went to go and he glared at me and said in a nasty tone " why don't you just go home?!!"
I said "what do you mean?" as I had never actually bumped into him (or him into me either), and he said " you keep getting in my way", so I said "I'm just doing my shopping, you are a horrible old man"!!

I feel a bit mean now, but I was trying to be polite and let him go before me earlier, and he was so churlish, he made me shout!!
Arrrggghhh!

OP posts:
HecateQueenOfWitches · 03/08/2010 13:36

I think you will get a lot of posts saying you were unreasonable and also questioning why you bring his age into it This is mn, we claim to be god-like in our serenity and be understanding at all times

But, tbh, sometimes people piss you off and they need to be challenged, or they think that it's ok to act the way they do.

So for no good reason, he had a go at you. You told him off.

Next time you seem to be bumping into the same person over and over - go off down a different isle and come back to that isle later on.

ColdComfortFarm · 03/08/2010 13:37

You were completely reasonable. He might think before being so unpleasant next time.

violethill · 03/08/2010 13:37

YANBU - in fact remarkably restrained I would say.

There is no excuse for his rude behaviour. I would have told him I was making a complaint about him to the supermarket staff as well. If it's his local shop he's probably in and out all the time, so that at might least cause a bit of embarrassment to him!

veyron · 03/08/2010 13:38

I probably would have said more than that! - Hormonal

IME I have found that not all old people are nice people.

cheesesarnie · 03/08/2010 13:40

i think you were very reasonable!

stillfindingtheway · 03/08/2010 13:40

sorry but this made me chuckle out loud ! I cant imagine its still bothering him so just forget about it, you did your best. I am on a mission not to rise to people like this at the mo as i think people are so impatient these days so i thought i would try and be nice at all times!!! its difficult but sometimes my smug smiley face is enough to annoy some people!

SloanyPony · 03/08/2010 13:43

I always make people like this feel like total c-words.

I just smile and say "Once again, I apologise for my shortcomings".

Works every time.

OrmRenewed · 03/08/2010 13:44

"you are a horrible old man"

Oh yes completely reasonable

Original poster
littlemefi · 03/08/2010 13:51

Maybe I didn't need to say "old"
And I am a bit hormonal, at another time I probably would just do the smile sweetly thing, I am normally politeness personified but not today!
and yes, I bet he hasn't given it a second thought!

OP posts:
PinkyMe · 03/08/2010 14:02

Actually, and I will probably get shot down for this, but his age is significant. Why do some older people think it is okay to be rude?
I have often heard the statement, "If I can't say what I feel at my age, when can I"? My anwser is, "if you're going to be rude, never".

Good on you for anwsering back.

swallowedAfly · 03/08/2010 14:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

OrmRenewed · 03/08/2010 14:09

"you are a horrible old man"!!"!

And that isn't rude?

coraltoes · 03/08/2010 14:59

old doesn't = too old to know better. He deserved it, he was being a tool.

lazarusb · 03/08/2010 15:06

My late Granddad (whom I loved very much) could be hideously rude at times. He used to make all sorts of comments while I was with him and was also extremely rude to me many, many times. When I challenged him he would say "I'm 90 you know, I fought in a war to be treated like this", even when nobody had done anything to him.
I'm sorry you had this experience, you had a right to stand up for yourself but maybe should have phrased it differently?

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 03/08/2010 15:07

it's not like she went up to a random old man and called him horrible, he was pretty rude in the first place! (sorry Orm, we only meet on old-person bashing threads!)

OrmRenewed · 03/08/2010 15:20

Tis true.

I am not an rude-old-person apologist, I just don't like rudeness in any shape of form so would rather die than say this to anyone. And am not sure that 'well he started it' is any defence after the age of 4

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 03/08/2010 16:34

To redeem myself a bit, I was just shouted at on phone by a rude and imperious old lady and I was most polite to her (ok, its my job but still )

ColdComfortFarm · 03/08/2010 19:06

I think she performed a sterling public service. This bloke may well have been being horrible to strangers for years and this is the first time he's had it right back at him. He might now think twice. I think even (especially?) adults sometimes need to learn that actions have consequences!

LucyGoose · 03/08/2010 19:17

I would have been so surprised and shocked to hear that coming from the old man, I would not have been able to answer. Made me laugh tho!

blackberryway · 03/08/2010 19:19

He probably would have got a lot worse than that from some others - at least there were no expletives involved! On the whole tho' I think being a grumpy old git is a punishment in itself so it's best to go easy on them.

ZZZenAgain · 03/08/2010 19:20

why don't you just go home? is a strange thing to ask

trainsetter · 03/08/2010 19:22

All those people who think saying "you are a horrible old man" is fine, how would you feel if he was your grandad?

PotPourri · 03/08/2010 19:23

yanbu. This is the kind of situation where you would have wished you had said that if you hadnt. why don't you just go home - get lost horrible old man. There are tonnes of grumpy old gits that think their age gives them a right to be rude.

2kids2dogsandahorse · 03/08/2010 19:28

I'd be v v embarrassed if he was my Grandfather, he wouldn't have dreamt of behaving like that

Rudeness is rudeness whatever the age but old people seem to think they can get away with it purely because they are old

)))old tossers(((

katiestar · 03/08/2010 19:31

I think you have to remember that old people are often in pain arthritis etc and this can make them short tempered