....to not want to give money as a wedding gift?

[LucyLouLou]

Asking on behalf of my sister, I'm wondering what you guys would do?

She has been invited to a wedding at the beginning of next year and the couple are asking for money instead of presents. My sister is not keen on doing this and would prefer something more personal. I gather she is not alone in this, I have heard others say this as well. One of the other guests thinks it's like buying a ticket for the wedding. My sister will comply with the request, but she (and I quote) thinks it's "tacky". I personally like buying gifts from a wedding list, but I get that these days, most couples don't need things like kettles and toasters as they have lived together for some time before getting married. Some people going to this wedding are not going to give money though, not sure what they are going to do, possibly give nothing, I don't know.

Opinions, anyone? TIA .

agree with previous poster.V rude and dont know why it has suddenly become acceptable to ask for money to pay towards either wedding/honeymoon. If you cant afford the wedding yourselves then either dont get married or cut down on wedding costs imo.

Asking for money to pay for the wedding and start off married life debt free = use wedding as money-making event to pay for our former fecklessness via paying guests.

Rude beyond belief!

Yep, I agree, no one needs a big splashy wedding but hell lots of people want them and even simple weddings cost if you want to show your guests a good time.

In this culture people want lots of different things - let em get on with it. I'm happy to be invited to a wedding and I'm even happier to be told what they want rather than waste my money on some tat that will be sold in a car boot sale a month on.

I find it helpful rather than rude.

I think it's no worse to ask for money than anything else, but TBH I think asking for wedding presents full stop is grabby, in most circumstances.

The whole thing is a bit odd, we told people we didn't want presents and some people have been frankly a bit aggressive on insisting we must have something...!

You're not showing your guests a good time if you're expecting them to give you money to pay for it. You're charging them via backdoor methods and even seeking to make a profit.

That's why it's rude.

I'd have more respect for people if they were just upfront about it.

It's not tacky. It's tradition in our country (Ireland) to give a lot of money. It would be an insult to give a toaster or something like that.

But this is the UK.

We encouraged people to give a donation to charity, if they wished. It was interesting to hear which charities they chose and why. We did have a very small wedding list, but we only gave out details to people who really made a fuss about wanting to give us a present. We wouldn't have asked people to pay towards the cost of the wedding or towards a honeymoon. I think it's better for guests to choose for themselves how generous they want to be. I wouldn't ask people to pay towards a normal holiday and I don't think a honeymoon is any different from that. Hope that helps