Hi
Long time lurker here, in need of some impartial opinions on a specific issue please.. if there are any men around yours would be particularly welcomed..
Bit of background: have DD (4) and I?m due no 2 in September. I've been on maternity leave for 3 weeks now, but before that worked a minimum of 3 days a week. DD is at nursery for those 3 days. I'm finding this pregnancy very hard work physically , have (not very severe) SPD.
He works physically very hard (window cleaner), usually 5 days a week, sometimes 4. He is up early on 2 of those days.
Lots of issues in our relationship, too much to go into here. I could fill a book...
DD has slept through twice, ever. Those 2 times in the last week. It's been a bloody nightmare really. I have done all nights since she was born, bar a handful. She is generally up for good at 6.45 ish.
What generally happens at the moment is that she comes in to get me when she wakes and I get up with her. Quite often (this has only started recently, in the last 6 months or so) on a Sunday I persuade her to go and get daddy, and I get an hour or so lie in. P usually stays in bed until he wakes (apart from Thursdays and Fridays when he gets up early), usually an hour or 2 later. For example, this morning I was up with DD at 5.00 (briefly) then up for good at 6.45. P got up at 8.45, went to work.
I don't think this is fair at all. I think that we should take turns getting up with DD when he is not getting up early, and this should mean him actually getting up when she does, not waiting for me to send her to him, after having spent half an hour up anyway persuading her to go through.
He thinks that is as it should be, as he works physically hard most days, and brings in most (by no means all) of the money. He says I don't understand or appreciate what it is like to work hard, and the responsibility of being the main earner.
It's not really the getting up that does my head in, it's the unfairness. If he got up at the same time as me I would not have a problem. I have been hugely resentful about this (on top of loads of other things) for months.
So. Am I being unreasonable? I intend to show P this, hence the request for male opinions, as he thinks you're 'just a lynch mob, basically'. I am totally prepared to admit I am wrong and shut my gob.
I'll try and get back to this later on today.