To wonder how Sep's doing?

[rewardgirl]

Any update? How are you getting on in your new life

Thinking of you. x

The children ate fine. Fairly oblivious this time I hope. Barbed comments from husband but I don't respond so they don't see any tension.
Saying that, son doing extremely badly at school currently.
All a bit if a mess really.
Thanks for support.
Could cope better if his behaviour were more predictable and consistent. Husband that is.

Do you have any kind of plan if he becomes difficult?

Nope. Not this time. He will be more careful though I would imagine.

Are you resigned to staying? You know you don't need to

Think so for now.
Money an issue a.d upheaval for children.

If it is at all possible try and squirrel some money away - in the meantime we're here for you when you need to vent .. x

I had similar problems with my dh, but a new start worked for us and strengthened relationship, so I think you did the right thing to forgive him.
So sorry to hear your news, but at least you know now there will be no permanent improvement
while you are living together. Best wishes x

Sep. I'm so sorry you are going through this again. You tried, it was a good thing to do. I hope everything is okay with you, keep strong. You've dealt with this once and you can do it again. We are here to listen.

Thanks all.
Again.
Sigh.

Hi again. So sorry to hear things aren't working out. But at least you can say you did absolutely everything you could.

You say he has no plans to leave. Do you have a plan for how you might be able to get him out again, or get him to agree to sell the house?

It sounds like you're never going to be truly happy until you're away from him. I'm sure all those faithful MNers who have been following your threads will be able to come up with some ideas...

Don't give up! There has to be a way out!

Hey Sep,

As a (then) newcomer to MN I read every entry (30 odd pages I think) from the shite that you went through before and was amazed, both at your strength and the overwhelming support from MNers. I only lurked then but thought of you often.

No longer a serial lurker I just want to add my support and to let you know that, no matter how dark the times ahead, you have got some mettle girl. I recall being really moved by how wonderful your kids were throughout, particularly the support your DD gave you.

Stay strong & know that we've got your back x x x

New MNer who doesn't know the detail in the original post but just wanted to say don't rule out calling your sister. She is probably missing you as much as you miss her but might feel that she doesn't want to make things awkward for you at home as her disappproval of the reunion was well known. I am sure if she knew you needed her she would be there like a shot.

The trouble is, and I know how this sounds, I really still want my marriage to work.

So, on that basis...
My SIL apparently 'doesn't want a bar of me'. We may be forced to meet up in a couple of weeks time for a family event which I felt I shouldn't attend as it is for her side of the family. Anyway, part of me thinks that I should go to it. Should I attendd hold my head up high? It will be very awkward though. Should I not go? Or should I do what I think needs to be done and arrange with her to meet up before the event and try to sort out our differences?

From her point of view I had her younger brother arrested through jilted rage when he had done nothing wrong. Now I know that I shouldn't and wouldn't be able to change her mind; but the least I could achieve is an agreement to keep things civil in front of my children. I have only seen her once since the arrest and she dealt with it by pretending I wasn't there, only speaking with my husband, and only saying goodbye to him.

Any advice would be appreciated.
Also, if I were to arrange a meeting, I have no idea how my husband would view that. Should I tell him that I am going to suggest it? She would probably tell him anyway...and does it give her too much of the power and the opportunity to say no.

Have sent you a message.

Thank you plupervert.

If I were to meet with my SIL it would be to merely create some sort of peace for the family. I wouldn't even particularly want to discuss what did or didn't happen some months ago now as that would cause more trouble than it would be worth to be honest.
I would have to be extremely careful that my husband didn't see it as going behind his back though; and I do think he would view it as that.

Hi Sep - I wouldn't bother trying to make peace with SIL - presume you can trust her not to make a scene in public?
Just go along - head held high - remember you did NOTHING wong!

Really feel for you though as I don't think you have any support in RL?? Do you have any friends you can talk to?

Please don't withdraw into yourself because you want it to work so much and maybe don't think it will? Just remember how incredible you were last time.

Rooting for you xx

Yes. Plenty of friend I can offload to, thank you. Sometimes though MN is better as I can be given unbiased advice and lots of it. Always leaning on friends must be a bit wearing for them.

Hi Sep. I normally lurk, seldom post but I followed your previous thread.
It is clear you have such spirit you just need to dig deep to find it again.
My mum was in a relationship with my dad that is similar to yours-i wish that she had gone through the (relatively) short term shit for the long term gain, sadly I lost her when I was 14 as she could take no more.
Wishing you strength and sending you many positive thoughts- its not easy, I know that, I witnessed it first hand
x

Things are improving again and I am doing my best to ride the storm each time it happens. We have had a great family weekend and, although we haven't sat down and had a discussion about things, my husband has started to show his affection again towards me.
I don't think it will all be hearts and flowers as we still have some major issues to work through, but we might just get there slowly.
Thanks for caring.

I'm so sorry to read about your mum's situation itsnotmorningyet.

Sep I just wondered how you are and wanted to wish you well.

Thank you for thinking of me Clams.
Things are great! Truly. I think things are better than they ever have been to be honest. I am off work currently with a serious health problem, and have been sibce October, and he has been incredibly supportive. We are more if a partnership than we ever were before. The arrest didn't help things, but talking things through has. We have.booked a week's family holiday for July. Boy do.we need one after this last year: we haven't been able to afford one for the last 3 years!x

Oooh! Hard-won love can be dearer than the new sort. Good for both of you for working hard.

All still good thanks. Have spent last 6 months off work due to illness but back at the end of the month.
Love to anyone who remembers me. X

Hi Sep, did I read in another thread that you are pregnant with no. 3??