to look at other women and wish my life was more like theirs?

[mumtoelliot]

I am grateful for everything I have in my life, including my beautiful son, but sometimes I wish I could step into the shoes of a successful, gorgeous, social, yummy mummy.

Somebody I know is a mother of a similar age to me, she is recently happily married,happy in her job, has a fabulous house, car etc, has another baby on the way and always has a full social calender. to top it off, she is gorgeous and actually a really lovely person.

I saw her for the first time in ages today and i felt a bit depressed! in comparison, i ffelt like a frumpy failure.

Hmmm, YABU I think. My mother always says (and I have to admit she's probably right - annoyingly) that you shouldn't feel jealous of anyone because you just don't know what's going on in their lives. However wonderful this person's life appears on the surface, who knows what it is really like to be her?

My mum has a friend who from an early age appeared to 'have it all'. She married a wealthy American and moved over there aged 19 to a huge old colonial house, plenty of money, had 3 very successful children and a full social calendar. But she has suffered with severe depression for many years. Her life is not perfect, any more than yours is or mine is or ANYONE's is.

If you feel frumpy, why not work on that? You can be a yummy mummy if that's important to you.

Her life may not be half as perfect as you think.

They might be scraping the money together to keep on top of the mortgage, her DH might be a twunt behind closed doors, her job might not be secure.

I do know what you mean but honestly, everyone has some aspects of their life they are not happy with - she probably envies you about some things just as you envy her about others. Or even if her life is great now, that doesn't mean it was a year ago or will be in a year's time.

Use her as inspiration perhaps? Why not ask her how she gets such great hair/full social calendar/whatever. Then do it!

Successful, gorgeous, social, yummy mummies have good days and bad days like everyone else.

I am envious of many people. Sadly I do not think that many of them are sad on the inside/have bad days/also feel inadequate.

Have you tried watching Jeremy Kyle and counting your blessings? I bet you're yummier, more successful and generally more fabulous than many of them. Try it and feel much better, promise.

Starlight, your ladygarden must be stopped. Were you getting it trimmed at the hairdressers ? Have a go with the nail scissors before it pokes out your trouser legs.

What we need is an A-team style of waxers to head to Starlights house to de-fuzz her.

There's nothing wrong with looking at her and seeing what you want to better in yourself (eg, I've been neglecting my hair recently, best book a haircut...) and using that as a push to do something to make yourself feel better.

But, like everyone else has said, you are only seeing the outside of her. You have already said that you have things to be grateful for.

Focus on those and remember that you cannot make direct comparisons as you don't know how she feels about her life.

Get the MN SWAT team to air drop into Starlight's house with a tanker of immac. Stat.

There's always a sting in the tail of envying another's life. I was recently in the most beautiful house you can imagine. Stone floors, aga, antiques - hugely comfortable, amazing location, big garden. I was there for a wake following a death in the family. All the wonderful things in that house couldn't compensate for that huge loss. I'm sure there are things in your life your friend envies as well.

I don't do this..since the nicest house and most lovely seeming life I know belongs to a woman who has had cancer.

Everyone in RL probably thinks DH and I have the perfect marriage. What they don't know is that we fight like cat and dog behind closed doors.
We have the appearance of plenty of money but DH works all hours under the sun to get it (which causes half our problems)
We have a packed social life - which I find exhausting and sometimes wish we knew nobody.

Sometimes a "perfect" life is a lot more perfect from the outside

I used to see women with cute little toddlers and envy them their lovely life. I now have a two year old and know the reality of the daily slog.

I doubt anyone envies me though. I had toothpaste in my hair yesterday.

Grass is greener and all that, my toddler is cute, my Golf car is shiny, but It has no insurance or MOT or tax disc as I am too skint, I take anti anxiety medication and I have no had sex with my husband for 4 years.

If you were to look at me and DC's in the street we look like one of those Yummy Mummy Sets, all show my love, beleive me.

I am a yummy mummy (from the things people have said!!) but my dp is actually a miserable alcoholic and my home life is pretty crap. Even if I am a size ten with a flash car, my own business and a beautiful son!!!!!

riven - i have no idea what you look like, but you always sound so 'sorted' and like you & dh are such a good team together. so, yes, you have sn that affect your family life profoundly, but they don't seem to have stopped you being the person you are, iyswim. as someone who's never met you, that is the impression you give online.

i meet up with a group of friends for coffee every week. we must look like we have such great lives - we have time to socialise, and we tend to be looking our best, sitting in this big group chatting away & laughing. BUT within the group, there are people dealing with bereavement (one woman's son died earlier this year), cancer, unwanted pregnancy, terminal illness of parents, serious money concerns, depression, all the normal daily pressures etc.
i looked round at us all the other day - someone had just come up & asked who we were, obviously attracted by the noise & fun. looking round the group, every single one of us has serious, BIG life issues that we deal with. some of us have it 'good' for now, but doesn't mean it was always so, or will remain so.

just be glad for what you got & make the most of it.

There will always be people richer or poorer than you. If you and your family are healthy and loving, then that's reason enough to count your blessings!

You should be looking at the Jeremy Kyle mums and be thankfull your life is not as bad as theirs