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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To keep order in the toddlers' area at soft play?

42 replies

EightiesChick · 31/07/2010 22:40

Getting fed up with going to soft play and a) having kids being way too rough/climbing on bits they shouldn't climb on in the toddlers' area, and/or b) having strapping 7 year olds and up hurling themselves around in there, squashing the little 'uns. So I am now saying 'You're not a baby, are you? This bit is for babies', 'Get down from there, please', and 'Stop that, it's not very nice', often to looks from kids who are astonished that any adult other than their parents (or possibly including their parents) has dared to tell them what to do. AIBU?

OP posts:
IlooklikeGrotbagstoday · 31/07/2010 22:42

YANBU, is the no one official there to tell them for you or at least back you up?

squarehat · 31/07/2010 22:45

YANBU but the parents should be the ones telling them those things - but thats another thread

Ineed2 · 31/07/2010 22:49

I was at one on Sunday and there were some big kids chucking the balls from the ball pit at each other reaaly hard in the toddler area. None of their parents seemed to care so one of the Dads told them off. They just looked at him, went quiet for about 5 mins and then started again.
YANBU

IMoveTheStars · 31/07/2010 22:51

What's the age range on the toddler area?

YANBU to ask other children to be careful, play nice, and be careful of the little ones.

Rather than saying 'stop that, it's not very nice' how about 'Please can you be careful of the small babies and play in the area for your age?'

I've been in similar situations plenty of times, seen older kids bashing into the little ones and don't think twice before telling them to behave. More than once I've had a mouthful from the Mother who was right there and ignoring her little darling's crappy behaviour.

lolapoppins · 31/07/2010 22:52

YANBU. My ds is seven, he knows not to go in the baby/toddler section. If I ever saw him in one I'd haul him straight out.

loonyrationalist · 31/07/2010 23:23

YANBU

It is hard enough for me to keep my 3 year old out of the toddler area

  1. she is only just too old - is for under 3's
  2. The only ball pit in the place is in there & this was dd's favourite place..
  1. Her sister is in there with whom she wants too play

Keeping her out & telling her she is too big is hard enough let alone being undermined by other parents allowing their 7 year olds in tocause havoc

So please yes say something & next time I promise I will too

(sorry for rant didn't realise how tense I was about the whole experience!)

BeerTricksPotter · 31/07/2010 23:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
EightiesChick · 31/07/2010 23:37

Woo! I was expecting to be told that if you go to soft play you deserve whatever you get.. My DS loves it though and I honestly don't mind, other than the blood-pressure inducing bigger kids.

loony I wouldn't mind a just-over-3 yo being here - it is the really obviously bigger ones, knocking all the littlies over, that bug me. But on that basis I will keep up my policing act!

Ilooklikegrotbags I probably ask the staff to intervene and occasionally I do, but as it is so busy in school hols at the moment, it just seems quicker to tell the kids yourself.

OP posts:
IMoveTheStars · 01/08/2010 00:09

EC

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/798088-to-tell-off-a-child-that-is-not-my-own

BonniePrinceBilly · 01/08/2010 01:17

I do it all the time. I got a right mouthful off a granny last week though for going ove rto her and asking her to remove her hulking grandson from the infant area, where he was trying to kick my 10mth old baby!

Firawla · 01/08/2010 08:59

looney i would just let yours in, in those circumstances i think its fine, under 3s is really like 3 and under isnt it, i would think it is fine??

as for op yanbu to tell them to be careful of the babies, but imo only if there behaviour is dangerous towards the babies, if they are just climbing too much and in the wrong area but not too full of babies i wouldnt be bothered myself. i dont think tell them things like get down from there, only to be careful of the babies

mumof2point5 · 01/08/2010 09:05

YANBU - i refuse to go now as it was driving me insane.

Longtalljosie · 01/08/2010 09:08

loony - my soft play area says older siblings are welcome in with babies as long as they are careful.

EightiesChick - YANBU - I do this all the time. I usually say to the little sod older child "This area's for one and two year olds. Are you one or are you two?" It's had a 100% success rate so far...

Fel1x · 01/08/2010 09:26

Do you tell off all older children or just the ones misbehaving?
My ds is nearly 5 (and tall so looks older). He has as and is drawn like a magnet to babies and baby toys. At soft play he often spends most of our time there in the baby section playing quietly with toys or making babies giggle with his funny faces.
I have always tended to let him get on with it as it doesn't harm anyone.

porcupine11 · 01/08/2010 09:30

YANBU - I do the same - either tell the staff to make an announcement or just tell the older kids to get out of the baby area myself!

porcamiseria · 01/08/2010 09:32

i dont go to them anymore, far too rough

its nice weather, go to a playground!

BelleDameSansMerci · 01/08/2010 09:32

I'm hugely impressed that you actually say something. I usually confine myself to Paddington Bear glares unless my DD is actually being "rough-housed".

I hate it when much older children charge around and their parents do nothing. No problem with them being in there if they're behaving nicely and/or looking after the little ones.

BonniePrinceBilly · 01/08/2010 09:39

I never say anything to big kids being pleasant and playing with babies, unless there were too many of them, then I might.

tethersend · 01/08/2010 09:54

I'm sorry, I just keep imagining Bonnie Prince Billy posting on a thread about soft play

FourArms · 01/08/2010 10:16

When my two were younger (4 and 6 now), I often asked bigger kids to leave the toddler area if they were hurting the toddlers, or rushing around.

Now DS2 is 4, I do sometimes let him play in the baby section. Ours is 3 and under, and he's just turned 4. However, at times, he is lovely with the babies, and will spend hours cooing at them like Fel1x's DS. However, if I saw him doing anything else, or it was very busy, I'd hoik him out, and would have no problem with anyone else asking him to leave.

sapphireblue · 01/08/2010 13:51

when my DH asked a little hooligan boy to stop throwing the plastic balls at my then 18mo DD, said little hooligan little boy's dad kindly invited DH into the car park for a fight. Apparently his child was "only 4" and shouldn't be expected to know not to throw balls at a toddler........

It was such a nasty experience that I've always been afraid to say anything since!

saintlydamemrsturnip · 01/08/2010 14:02

Not unreasonable to tell them off if misbehaving but I wouldn't tell them off if they were big but behaving.

Crazycatlady · 01/08/2010 14:03

This is precisely why we very rarely take DD (19 months) to soft play. When we do, we're in as soon as it opens and out before all the grockles and their vile sprogs turn up at 10am.

Having been shouted at (while assisting DD to get through to the slide bit) by a gruff looking boy to 'move, move out of my way, now...' these are not the type of children I want my DD socialising with. I have never seen such a gathering of horrid children and parents in one place as at soft play.

It's a shame, soft play is supposed to be fun. If you can tolerate it without losing your rag at all the badly behaved children and oblivious, junk food quaffing mothers, then YANBU and quite within your rights to have words with naughty children. Otherwise, stay away from the vile place!

Poppet45 · 01/08/2010 14:08

Am so glad I've found a refuge for other soft-play enforcers... DS (11 months) loves going, but it's killing my blood pressure. I can see why parents might want to let bigger kids in who behave themselves into the baby bit, but unfortunately I do think it leads the way for all the other kids of that age to follow them. DS nearly got sat on three times last time we went. My real bugbear though is the mums that open the gate, let in their older kids, or even those of the right age, and then bugger off! WTF?! No doubt they would be the first to sue should an accident befall their little darlings, while they are busy ramming cake in their maws at the other end of the building. breathes

EffieB · 01/08/2010 14:34

I've had quite a lot of success with 'oh this area is just for LITTLE babies who can't do much, not like you, how old are you? Ooo, you're 6? That's the area for people who are 6 who can do all the things you can, not this boring bit here for the little ones'... etc...

that way you haven't actually told them off, just reminded them how much more they can do than the babies (!!), and then if overheard by any scary parents all you've infact done is say how great their kids are at jumping/ throwing (albeit at babies heads) so quite difficult for them to object to also!

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