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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To keep order in the toddlers' area at soft play?

42 replies

EightiesChick · 31/07/2010 22:40

Getting fed up with going to soft play and a) having kids being way too rough/climbing on bits they shouldn't climb on in the toddlers' area, and/or b) having strapping 7 year olds and up hurling themselves around in there, squashing the little 'uns. So I am now saying 'You're not a baby, are you? This bit is for babies', 'Get down from there, please', and 'Stop that, it's not very nice', often to looks from kids who are astonished that any adult other than their parents (or possibly including their parents) has dared to tell them what to do. AIBU?

OP posts:
Longtalljosie · 01/08/2010 21:37

Fel1x - only the ones charging around like idiots, threatening to knock DD off the squidgy stairs

Tippychoocks · 01/08/2010 21:48

It's dangerous tho - I recently told off a boy who was "with" me on a large group outing. Both his parents sat planted in the cafe firmly behind the boradsheets while he bombdived into the under 3 ball pool, causing much wailing. All surrounding parents looked daggers at me when retrieving their damaged smalls, presuming I was responsible for the child (I didn't even know his name).
To be honest, you're better off avoiding soft play altogether, it's my idea of hell on toast.

OnEdge · 01/08/2010 21:55

I chicken out and ask the staff to tell them.
Always works.

sleepingsowell · 01/08/2010 22:02

I think it's such a shame that so many parents see soft play as meaning 'no supervision needed'. Just because they are in a 'safe' environment doesn't mean they will all behave well when left completely unsupervised. It's always staggered me how parents will spend so long not even looking up from their magazine/phone/coffee.

We have basically avoided soft play for this reason - but have ventured a few times for DS's sake, but only EXTREMELY early in the morning before it gets busy. When more than a handful of other kids come, we go. Shame it has to be that way though.

loonyrationalist · 01/08/2010 22:11

Thank-you for all being kind despite my outburst, it made me feel much better.

I guess the problem for me is that there has to be a cut off, if I don't enforce the true one with dd then that will encourage others who are a similar age to use the same area who are then too rough for dd2 to continue to use it.

PS whoever said to go to the park I feel a trip a day is plenty; although DD1 would possibly demur and I thought that everyone knew that if you wanted a quieter time at soft play (as I do with a 1 & 3 year old) you went in the blazing sunshine?

saintlydamemrsturnip · 01/08/2010 22:57

I think if you see an older child who is being supervised by their parents then it might be worth backing off because the child may well have SN. DS1 (aged 11) will still wander into places for tinies (obviously no self respecting NT 11 year old would be in a toddler bit) - partly because our local soft play has the sensory room in the toddler area - and he loves squashing himself against bubble tubes. Admittedly it's not the most sensible place for it (there's no age limit on the sensory room). He's always supervised and is very wary of small children so would never do anything other than smell or touch the equipment and maybe try and sit on some piece of equipment.

Original poster
EightiesChick · 01/08/2010 22:59

Thanks for the general approval of soft play policing. I?ll carry on? I don?t want to stop going as my DS does really enjoy it and we need alternatives to the playground even in good weather. DH was at the playground with him at 7.40 am today so we definitely need options for later in the day!

Fel1x No, I wouldn?t tell them all off (I doubt I would get a minute spare if I did!) ? I just tell the big ones who are charging about. If there are older kids in there playing nicely I leave them to it. Unfortunately, those are as rare as hens? teeth ? it?s always the ones who are rough and outright nasty that I seem to meet.

My DS is enthralled by older kids and always wants to play with / follow round the ones he meets, so if there were any nice ones in there who?d actually play with him, I?d be quite pleased. What I get instead though ? and which really annoys me on his behalf ? is that he toddles up to some hulking 8 yo, or looks up at them from the toy car/ball pool/slide, beams at them and says ?Hello!?, and they promptly scowl at him and knock him over/push him off the car and take it themselves, leaving him looking puzzled and mildly upset. Fel1x and FourArms, your DSes sound charming and I wish the older kids were all like them.

SapphireBlue this is what I dread happening. My DH is even more forthright about it so I do hope it never ends up in an angry exchange with lazy other parents.

OP posts:
Original poster
EightiesChick · 01/08/2010 23:01

Point taken saintlydamemrsturnip, though so far the ones who annoy me have never been supervised, and I think that's the issue rather than one of SN. The SN kids would probably be better behaved...

OP posts:
hmc · 01/08/2010 23:07

I think probably you should raise it with a member of staff rather than with the child. Parents of babies and small child sometimes have an entitlement complex and often don't come across well (causing much inward ffs eye rolling among the rest of us) - best leave the enforcement to the soft play personnel. Easier all around.

hmc · 01/08/2010 23:08

We don't do soft play however, vile places.

saintlydamemrsturnip · 01/08/2010 23:09

oh yes, of course if a child is misbehaving then they need to be removed - whatever. Just recently we have been having a lot of hassle from joe public when ds1 is being well behaved (I think the public just don't like boys his age and they don't spot he has SN when he is calm) so thought I'd throw it out there. He is never unsupervised, ever, though (not safe for him).

LolaKnickers · 02/08/2010 13:38

Not unreasonable. Annoy me intently that some parents just sit miles away drinking tea while their delughtful offspring wreak havoc.

I am fond of saying to my daughter "just because you've seen a naughty boy / girl doing it doesn't mean that you can", obviously so that the parents of said naughty boy / girl can hear.

Mine is somewhere in the middle - she's 2 and so can get sat on by the older kids but equally could be too "robust" for young babies. I always keep an eye on her and tell her when certain things aren't appropriate.

deliakate · 02/08/2010 14:56

I've never been to a soft play, and I don't think I'm ever going to start. Sounds horrid! There must be other things you can do?

LolaKnickers · 02/08/2010 15:00

They are the worst places you could imagine delikate. But the kids do love them.....

lucky1979 · 02/08/2010 18:10

Having read some absolutley dreadful stories about the cleanliness of ball pits in soft play centres I don't think I could bring myself to take DD there. The thought of her also getting squashed has just made me very definite that I will at least avoid it as long as possible.

Longtalljosie · 02/08/2010 18:27

They're absolutely fine. Admittedly, I have a very nice one near me and they do vary - but people do get very nose-in-air about them on here

Crazycatlady · 02/08/2010 19:46

We have a very nice one near us too, as long as you're in and out before the hoards arrive!

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