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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Sorry earpiercing again

72 replies

sue52 · 30/07/2010 17:39

DD2 aged 14 wants her ears pierced. I have always said not till 16 (when DD1 had hers done) but her constant moaning about it is grinding me down. In other ways I am a fairly indulgent parent and her wardrobe is stocked with Top Shop and Jack Wills clothes but I've always stuck to my guns on this one. Am I being unreasonable and Victorian as DD says or should I make her wait as I did with her sister. If most replies side with DD, I shall let her win this one.

OP posts:

Original poster

sue52 · 30/07/2010 19:43

Mizu did you resent your younger sister getting them done at a younger age? I agree with your view on your brothers DD.

OP posts:

Harryan · 30/07/2010 19:45

Oh DD1 is 26!!! Ok then I'm sure DD1 is mature cope with her younger sister having her ears peirced at 14 and the reasons!
14 isn't an uncommon age to get it done these days, I'm 29 now and yes back when I was a teen 16 was the age everyone was getting it done.

Like I said before if you feel DD2 is responsible enough then let her get it done, else your ears might fall off with all the asking in the next 2 years!!

Original poster

sue52 · 30/07/2010 19:52

Thats interesting Harryan I think thats just swung it in DD2s favour. I'll call DD1 out of courtesy and tell her that the average age is now 14 and I'm Allowing DD2. Maybe I can persuade DD2 to keep her room tidy in gratitude of my change of mind. Thank you all for your help.

OP posts:

pippylongstockings · 30/07/2010 20:02

There is 3 years age difference between me and my sister - I took it on the chin that she was going to get things that I didn't because I paved the way.

I left home at 17 because my parents were so strict, I never went back but it did help (my relationship with my parents they respected me for forging my way.) But also my sister as they let her have her ears pierced, have her boyfriend sleep over when she was 16 and also go to nightclubs etc etc

I think it is a right of passage that the 2nd child gets away with stuff that the 1st child doesnt.

LynetteScavo · 30/07/2010 20:06

Let her have them done! I had to wait until I was 16 (my parents said 18, but I just had them done anyway)

I really thought my parents were straight out of 1902.

Original poster

sue52 · 30/07/2010 20:11

lynetteScavo 1902, thats harsh.

OP posts:

mizu · 30/07/2010 20:15

sue52, exactly what pippi has said, my parents were much stricter on me than my sis - who is 7 years younger.

Seona1973 · 30/07/2010 20:22

My dd is nearly 7 and doesnt want hers done yet but I would let her if she asked for it. I had mine done at 7 so maybe that is why I am ok with it.

moogalicious · 30/07/2010 20:29

let her have it done. She's 14. My dd1 had her's done at 6 without her ears falling off/looking like a 'chav'/it hurting.

Sanesometimes1 · 30/07/2010 21:32

Good grief - she's 14 !!!! you are lucky she only wants her ears pierced !!! let her get it done she;ll only rebel at 16 and get tatoos just to spite you lol x

WitchyWooWoo · 30/07/2010 21:39

let her get it done. if you're really worried about dd1's reaction, get her a pair of earrings too

Mumcentreplus · 30/07/2010 21:41

Do it...mine DDs are pierced (8 and 6)...apparently it's extremely chavtasic in certain circles..

Firawla · 30/07/2010 22:12

let her have it done, 14 is plenty old enough to decide, even much younger than that is fine i think anyway

notcitrus · 30/07/2010 22:33

Let her, and get dd1 some nice earrings.

I speak as someone who got their ear pierced by a friend aged 14, using a stud and freezing my ear first with deoderant spray.
I was very lucky (although it wasn't totally straight and grew over in my late 20s)

SlackSally · 30/07/2010 22:39

To be honest, I think the advantages of being the eldest child will far override the perceived slight of her sister getting her ears pierced slightly younger than she did...

Al1son · 30/07/2010 22:40

SlackSally I can only imagine that you are not an eldest child.

JebusBuiltMyHotQuads · 31/07/2010 08:23

Agrre with others who say let her..1 is old enough

But please go to a body piercing professional who uses needles, not to bloody claire's or anywhere where they use guns.

JebusBuiltMyHotQuads · 31/07/2010 08:24

lol damn keyboard obviously that should say 'agree' and '14'

1 is not old enough in my book

dana4nyc · 31/07/2010 09:24

I have an honest question about ear piercing...

I am American and my parents had my ears pierced when I was just a few months old. From my expereince, this is pretty common practice for baby girls, at least in the area of the country I lived. I come from a normal pretty bang on average family as well. I always assumed that when I had a DD I would be getting her ears pierced at an early age as well, but now that I live in the UK and people are so against it I won't be doing it for fear of being labelled a 'chav'.

Why is there such a stigma here about this? I am not saying one way is better than the other, I have just never encountered such hostility about ear piercing and I really am interested in knowing where this comes from.

I am quite sad that my DD won't be getting her ears pierced any time soon (she is 4 months old) as I personally think it's lovely and I can't help but smile when I look at pictures of myself as a baby/toddler and I have very delicate studs in my ears.

Is this just an English attitude or is it the rest of the world except for the southern part of the Untied States???

Maisiethemorningsidecat · 31/07/2010 09:51

It's a British attitude, not just an English one.

There is a stigma here because it represents the accessorising of babies and young children, who don't have a say in whether or not they have metal forced into their bodies. Children should be children for as long as possible, without fear of infection from a foreign body imposed inserted into them by their parents, they should not have to worry about ripping their ear lobes whilst playing and they should not be encouraged to look fashionable or adult at such a young age.

I appreciate that it's normal in some cultures, but you're right, it is extremely 'chavvy' to pierce the ears of British children and babies.

mummytime · 31/07/2010 09:55

I don't have my ears pierced, I've always said 14 to my daughters,and then tried to persuade them not to bother.
Before 14girls are normally still doing a lot of sport and I have seen nasty injuries by pulled ears during sport.

I think attitudes to very young children having their ears pierced is different in the Northern US states btw.
It is seen as Chavy because it is inflicting pain (even if not much) on someone against their will or choice (4 months!). Also they can then get ear injuries etc. Or stop wearing earrings and then need to get them repierced.

When I was 7 I intended to have long dangling earing like a gypsy. When I got to Oxford, we realised lots of us had unpierced ears.

But different cultures have different attitudes.

usualsuspect · 31/07/2010 11:37

Its only seen as chavvy on MN

Original poster

sue52 · 31/07/2010 12:25

Dana4nyc I object to ear piercing on infants as it seems so cruel, I remember how upset my girls were when they had their medical vaccinations, so why anyone would choose to inflict pain on their children when it's uncalled for is beyond my understanding. Babies are beautiful and need no adornment.
Much to DD2s delight, I have booked her into our local beauticans to have her ears pierced. I cleared it with DD1 first though.

OP posts:

whoneedssleepanyway · 31/07/2010 12:29

how headstrong is your DD?

My mum had always said 16 but when I was 16 she let me have mine done and my younger sister have hers done at the same time (she was 14) as she was worried my sister was going to go off and get it done herself otherwise.

Why don't you say she can have them done for her birthday or Christmas whichever is sooner, and tell her now and then hopefully she will stop going on about it as you will have agreed a time.

whoneedssleepanyway · 31/07/2010 12:30

just seen your post, sounds as though all is resolved.

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