...To think a 16 year old should be capable of catching a train

[prettybird]

SIL's 16 year old ds is staying with us while she is way on holiday. He is doing a course in place on the other side of the city.

She arranged for him to get lifts there and back as she didn't think he would be able to get there (would involve catching train, changing stations in the centre of town to get another train and then maybe a walk or bus at the other end) without having been shown what to do.

Last night he said that he wouldn't be able to get the lift today and would we be able to give him a lift.

We told him no, and that he could get the train, explaining to him what he needed to do. We are presuming that since we didn't get a text or call from him, he succeededin getting there.

Were we unreasonable?

Oh good grief of course not. He is old enough to join the army!

No of course not. Your SIL is the unreasonable one for mollycoddling a 16 year old like that. It is ridiculous.

Good grief - of course yanbu!!! My 12 year old catches the train to school every day and has been for the last year.

For goodness sake - bet he's loving the independence!

I think it depends. If he is not used to catching trains it can all be very confusing.

Hope you don't get a call from the other end of the country, soon, lol.

Depends how fast it's going.

No - in days gone by he may very well have been 2 years into an apprenticeship/working by the time he was 16.

of course not!! At 16 he can leave school and get a job........have a child of he wants to!

He won't be able to get a train if she thinks that he can't! They live up(or down) to expectations-if you expect him to get a train he will manage perfectly well. Ignore SIL.

maryz, i'm not allowed on those threads yet becasue my eldest is only 6. but i look forward to. and getting my teeth into their mollycoddling.

Went to France on my own on my 16th birthday..

he can legally be a father at that age! if he can do that, he can catch a bloomin' train!

Depends. Is the course taking place in Kabul as opposed to Kilburn?

Then again....

I can't believe how mollycoddled some young people are. Of course he can catch a train by himself.

I went to Japan by myself when I was 17. My mum did take me to the airport though.
And I did get comprehensively lost on their train system now I think about it.
Is your nephew Japanese? If so, YABU.

maryz, i would say ' i wouldn't put up with it' thats why i can't go.

Quite possible that the 16yo is perfectly able to catch the train but prefers to get a lift if one is available. He maybe hasn't let on to his mum yet as he knows she'll run round doing all his lift arranging for him. Asked aunty prettybird for a lift (no harm in asking, as mine usually say) but equally okay when one wasn't forthcoming.

I left home (and country) when I was 17 and was travelling on my own from the age of 12. And I'm a girl

I work at a University and arrange placements for students. Naturally, some require the little darlings to use (gasp) PUBLIC TRANSPORT. I have had parents (yes, parents) ringing me up to complain that their child (who is not really a child any more, let's face it) has to get the bus on their own. It's just mind boggling.

He is a wee bit of a dreamer/lives on another planet at times.

However IMHO that is all the more reason why he should be encouraged to work out these things for himself, to necourage more indepedence.

He has also been in the Scouts for years - but apparently they don't teach them to read maps any more

This is Glasgow BTW and he is going from one reasonable part of the city to another. But I suppose if he gets on the wrong train, he might encounter a razer gang